Dear coppers…

Do you go looking for ways you can be hated by normal sensible people or something?

Are you completely oblivious to the concept of policing by consent?

Even Cressida Dick has apparently picked up a dictionary to look up the word ‘pragmatic’. Why can’t you, you dickheads?

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It’s as if they don’t realise that, overnight, they have been gifted a huge amount of public goodwill, and certainly haven’t thought about how easily they could squander that, and what happens next in that case when it’s 50,000 coppers against several million pissed-off, stir-crazy, stressed, bored, frightened Brits.

And, not to be outdone by PC Hitler, here comes the council:

Some independent shops reported that council officers had attempted to tell them what items they could and could not sell, including chocolate eggs and hot cross buns.

Speaking of which, while I was at the corner shop earlier to buy a yo-yo and some heroin, I found this:


Plenty more of this shit to be found as well…

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This thing has been going on for a week and a bit… we’ve got months of it ahead of us… the silver lining is that no-one in the country will be left in any doubt at all about what a bunch of absolute dickheads we have in positions of modest authority in this country.


Questions no-one wants us to ask…

This might be a stupid question.. I don’t know. But…

Might this social distancing have unintended consequences?

If we normally maintain our immunity to general bugs by being regularly exposed to things that keep our immune system strong and up to date with the latest viral and bacteria mutations, will 3-6 months of not being exposed to the general menagerie ultimately be harmful to us, causing knock-on effects when we all try to go back to normal?

Dunno. There’s a probably a graph with a cross-over point, beyond which we’re doing more harm than good, purely in epidemiological terms with this current endeavour.


What is it we are all so afraid of?

Is it the virus itself, with its slim chance to doing us any real harm?

The social isolation?

The renewed sense of purpose and mission?

The impact on our elderly relatives? On the economy?

No. It isn’t is it?

The reason the people of Britain are in ‘hair on fire’ mode is because we are all terrified of falling into the tender embrace of the NHS, with its callous bureaucracy, its ‘make do and mend’ ethos, and its exhausted, under-supported and under-supplied clinicians.

You may recall that I had a very extensive (and not a little terrifying) encounter with the NHS last year.

Literally every NHS worker I encountered, from cleaners to consultants, was amazing. Hard working and dedicated to a man, woman and tranny. For the fact that I’m here today, I’m deeply grateful to every one of them. To the extent that they succeed, though, it is abundantly clear when seen from the coalface that they do so in-spite of the system in which they work, not because of it.

The reason I’m so keen on embracing the whole self-isolation thing – apart from the 8 months of practice I had at it last year, meaning it’s very easy, almost second nature to me now – is that with a little bit of mild chronic asthma, if I get COVID there’s a non-trivial chance that I could need medication and possibly even a nebuliser or ventilator. And I live on the outskirts of London.

I’m probably not old enough that they’d decide I should be ‘de-prioritsed’ in the queue for critical treatment, but if this becomes a regular event, it’s not going to be many years, before I do fall into that category.

So, with all due respect to the amazing people who work in the NHS, the system itself must for all our sakes be killed with fire and replaced. We can learn lessons from almost every other European country and need never even look at the US system except as a cautionary tale.

This is something that needs urgent focus the minute we are able to get back to any sort of normality.


If I were Boris…

Hacking cough and raging fever aside, I’d want to send out a suitable message to the nation. Particularly the unsympathetic part…

If I were Boris, I’d order under emergency powers that this be played on a loop on BBC1, 2 and, translated into esperanto, on 4.



Well, it’s been an interesting week, hasn’t it?

Is anyone genuinely surprised by a single thing that has happened?

The massive over-reaction of the Police to people quite safely walking in the countryside. The gleeful vindictive collaborators and curtain-twitchers. The twitchfork wielders. The minor slebs, last seen on Celebrity Big Brother a decade ago, who are suddenly anointed to issue authoritative pronouncements on matters legal, moral and epidemiological. The complete failure of government to do an honest cost-benefit analysis on the measures being taken, instead sacrificing the entire economy on the altar of political optics. The unprecedented printing of money. The triumph of emotionalism over rational empiricism, and authoritarianism over liberal democracy.

I recommend to you this excellent interview with Peter Hitchens, conducted by the lately and provisionally rehabilitated James Delingpole.

So what comes next? Well, I have a few random thoughts:

The sweeping powers granted to police are all well and good but with extremely limited resources, they’re going to find it increasingly difficult to enforce the arbitrary rules as restlessness grows and people wake up to how absurd and draconian this all is. Which will lead to a ratcheting up of penalties, to include prison time without the bother of failing to pay a fine first, and to an broad expansion in the range of people who will be authorised to enforce the rules. PCSOs, traffic wardens, council inspectors, private security guards and many more people will be drafted in and granted powers of dispersal, issuing of fines and of arrest. Civillian informants will be actively encouraged and enlisted, possibly even incentivised.

The argument between the advocates of the Imperial model and the Oxford model will escalate and degenerate. It will be argued over prominently in parliament and in the media, by people with arts degrees, long after it ceases to matter whose model was right. The argument will return when we’re at a point where we can look back at the data and decide whose model was right. At which point we disappear into the weeds with endless arguments about how deaths are recorded and reported in different countries and at different points in time.

There will be a groundswell of the usual suspects campaigning hard against any idea of curtailing of globalism. They’ll be sure to invent some new isms and phobias. Expect David Lammy, JK Rowling and Gary Linekar to feature prominently, with Gary Linekar waving his ‘I lived in Japan’ credentials like they’re a George Cross, a Purple Heart and a Nobel Prize for Economics, Medicine and Peace.

We will see in retrospect that the curtailment of our liberties and economy went on far too long, but the questions of political cowardice, opportunism and the precautionary principle will go largely unexamined. As I’ve said before, even when the government does decide to loosen the chains on us, they won’t take them off. These powers will stay for ever and the next time there’s a similar panic, we’ll go to bed before a man in Mongolia coughs, and wake up after the fingermen have closed the schools, offices and roads (but not the borders).

As after every episode of money printing, house prices will increase at an accelerated rate. The proportion of the population that can afford to buy a home will plummet. Large corporations and money men will make a fortune.

Again as I previously mentioned, cash is now out. George Osborne’s old ambition to abolish cash money will be brought forward again and implemented with a gusto that ought to alarm any clear-thinking observer.

Taxes will rise. On individuals, obviously. Not on massive corporations, which will be on long-term welfare after the government crashed the economy into a ditch. Some of the money they’ve been given, out of our pockets, will be spent on lobbyists to forcefully remind the government that they could not possibly be expected to bear this burden.

And as if the economy wasn’t in the khazi already, consumer confidence will be utterly hollowed out. Millions of people who have been living paycheque-to-paycheque are currently being reminded of their precarious financial positions. Faced with the prospect of this happening again next year, a lot of those people are going to decide that it’s better to have £10k in the bank after all than to have an impressive new BMW on the driveway, and a trip to the Maldives on the calendar.

Finally, the BBC will get a stay of execution, and will be brought inside the tent by this government. Team Boris had hitherto been going after the BBC with some alacrity. Watch all talk of ending the licence fee fall silent. The BBC is ultimately – whatever you may think of its political biases – a tool of the government of the day. In a time when bread is hard to come by and all the circuses are cancelled, the government will need a state broadcaster – and they will become a state broadcaster in a way that most of us have never seen before in the UK, but anyone who is familiar with RT or Press TV will know all too well.

Honestly, I find it very difficult to see a way back from this. And by ‘this’ I do not mean COVID-19; I mean the ludicrous and reckless response to it.

But… I will forgive the government a great deal if it makes using the expression ‘X in a time of coronavirus’ a capital offence. Lazy, unimaginative dipshits. We’re not impressed that one of you once heard of the novel ‘Love in the Time of Cholera’, I bet none of you ever read it, and the first one to mangle the original Spanish version of that title will be taken to Porton Down to test vaccines on.


UPDATE: Thanks to commenter ‘Griblet’ who draws this to my attention. I think it speaks for itself.

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Former Detective Chief Superintendent Kevin Hurley called the police powers brought in to restrict movement “weak, insipid and they will be very difficult to use.”

This includes the police being able to fine people £60 or £120 for disobeying lockdown rules and also having the power to disperse groups and check reasons for travelling.

Mr Hurley said the police cannot possibly enforce this lockdown in a “normal way”, especially with their forces depleted due to illness, self-isolation and childcare issues.

“We need to be able to take instant on-the-spot sanctions on the street with people because the police cannot afford to get involved in rolling around and fighting with people who then infect them.

“Then they take them to the police station where they then contaminate the police station, contaminate the cells, contaminate all the other prisoners.”

Colour me stunned.

To paraphrase Archer, “Oh, is that what you want? Because that’s how you get Norsefire!”