Okay, look. I’ve a great deal of sympathy with anyone whose home or business has been flooded in recent weeks, or indeed ever.
Where I draw the line, though, is with chippy northerners crying about a north-south divide with the “evil Tory” government spending money on flood defences in the south while neglecting the north.
Presumably, those gormless flat-capped prats had their heads so far up their whippets’ arses that they didn’t even know about the massive flooding we’ve seen in recent years in Suffolk, Essex, Kent & Sussex, Berkshire & Oxfordshire, Somerset, Dorset, Devon & Cornwall and Hampshire – all of which are, according to my map, firmly in the south..
Let us be in no doubt. If there is a north-south divide, it’s one of attitude. The woe-is-me, it’s alright for them solipsism of the northerners is something you don’t see down south, even though the south is regularly shafted by flooding too.
Where a north-south divide does not exist is in the area of government doing anything to sort out the issues of flood defences and waterway maintenance. The government’s ineptitude, inefficacy, wastefulness, misplaced priorities and complacency on this subject is a matter for the whole nation. They are fucking us ALL over royally.
Now stop fucking moaning and be happy that at least the house you’ve just had flooded was only worth the same as a shed in Sussex anyway, and all your furniture was from DFS and Ikea, rather than a proper shop where things cost proper money.