Some May pun, but I wouldn’t

So the time has finally come. May is going. Meh.

There’s nothing to profit from enumerating the ways in which May sucked the sweat off a drag queen’s ballsack. The newspapers and magazines of left and right are queuing up to hyperbolise about how much she was the worst ever prime minister.

I wonder if a dispassionate enquiry would indeed find her to be worse than Chamberlain who appeased Hitler, Eden who made a dogs arse of the Suez crisis, Heath who presided over our entry into the EEC in 1973, Major who signed the Maastricht treaty, creating the EU, and heralded the onset of 13 years of Labour government, or Cameron, who bequeathed the nation its current predicament.

The thing about Theresa May is that she has achieved nothing, and that’s no bad thing. For 3 years, the de facto leader of the UK establishment spent no time on the front foot, pushing an agenda, launching bold programmes of social change, managing the message, declaring wars, iconoclastically upending the foundation stones of our social, political, judicial, economic and religious edifices.

After all the damage that was done by Major, Blair, Brown and Cameron, this was a welcome break. An interregnum is what it has been.

So what happens now? I’ve already expressed my preferences as to future Conservative leaders. What I expect to happen is the coronation of Boris Johnson.

As to what happens then, well as much as I’m loathed to agree with him, I have to concede that on this occasion Matthew Parris has the most plausible hypothesis I’ve seen so far. (pastebin)

A new British prime minister, having visited the Queen to check in, and having during the course of leadership elections vowed to get a better deal from Brussels on pain of leaving without a deal, will have to hotfoot it to Brussels — and will have to return more or less empty-handed.

Such a PM will then be under enormous pressure to try to get the United Kingdom out of the EU with no deal or (more likely) a ‘managed’ no deal. At this point, both Houses of Parliament will awake from their fitful slumber and stop this happening.

The bind our PM will be in is as simple as it will be cruel. He or she will have promised the electorate something that she or he is quite unable to deliver. 

Whatever you want to say about May, all she ever tried to do was get a deal through parliament that delivered however weak and meaningless a Brexit she could get. That she lacked the hubris, machiavellianism and bald-faced sociopathy required to deliver a suitably polished turd and consign us to BRINO purgatory is something I find myself unable to hold against her.

To imagine that anyone could have gotten a meaningfully better deal from the EU is laughable. They are a resolute enemy, steadfast in their position, as unanimous as the Borg.  All this is despite the inevitable internal tensions in the bloc: the fractious states like Hungary and Italy are more than counterbalanced by the bought & paid-for puppet states like Ireland and the brutalized marionette that is Greece.

And so here we are. As far as leaving the EU goes, it’s checkmate. Our king is dead. Parris is right. The remainers are going to get what they wanted.

Quite whether they bargain for the shitstorm that will follow the betrayal remains to be seen. The story of the Brexit party and the votes they get at the expense of Labour and Tories will just be the start of this chapter.

The EU didn’t demur when Macron demanded that this is all done by the end of October, one way or the other.

There is no happy outcome. Times are about to get interesting and people are about to get mad as hell.

AJ

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Industrial action always accelerates automation and outsourcing

Adam Piggott mentions in his latest podcast that some Skeletor-looking harridan is calling for a sex-stike.

It’s difficult to know where to begin with this, really, but somehow I think men will cope and realise that a good life doesn’t have to revolve around sticking their dicks into swivel-eyed super-annuated mentalists.

Not forgetting the variety of outsourcing options explored by Aaron Clarey here.

AJ

Back ’em up, it’s time to get off this platform…

In more than 10 years using this platform, it always seemed like quite a stable, open, pro-free-speech platform, or at least neutral.

I wasn’t aware of any previous deplatforming, but today I am.

Screen Shot 2019-05-11 at 12.45.20

We can’t say that there haven’t been warnings that this day would come from people like Clarey, Vox Day etc..

Back ’em up and ship out.

Even if I’m not high enough profile to attract Porquemada’s attention, I don’t think I want them earning a cent more from putting ads on my blog.

As soon as I have sorted an alternative, I’ll post details.

AJ

Links & Car Porn

Tim Newman continues on the Boeing 737MAX theme and, as well as refering to a fascinating supporting article by a pilot and engineer, he further builds his entirely plausible theory that modern organisations in the public and crony-private sector care more about displaying progressive values than they do about making a safe, high quality product to sell at a competetive price. He’s right, of course, as anyone who has spent any time in the blue chip corporate world will attest if they’re being honest.

In the corporate sewer, there’s money and favour to be made from wokeness sure enough, but an eye-opening degree of top-cover for gross incompetence is the biggest prize: wokeness weaponises mediocrity. The mediocre stick together like glue and they have each other’s backs, eagerly spouting the latest banal corporate bafflegarble in lieu of actual displays of competence.

I was in the very first years of my period in corporate life, in the late 90s, when this first dawned on me. Young and wide-eyed, I imagined this massive shiny office in the City of London, HQ of a global business empire, must surely house some of the finest minds that ever walked this Earth. I was horrified and depressed at what I found.

And that was before ‘the personnel woman’ had been millenialized into the HR department, and spawned all the horrors that we witness today, providing bomb-proof structural cover for idiocy in plain sight.

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Danny Baker is in trouble. Some people care… some, I suppose bewail the infringement on he freedom of thought and expression, and lament that he should lose his livelihood for a thoughtless faux pas. I have no sympathy at all. Baker was supping with the devil, and he gets no more than he deserves.

I’m sure he’ll pop up on Talk Sport or LBC once his period in sackcloth and ashes is over, and I’ll continue to assiduosly avoid any output that contains his banal chat and his mindless anecdotes.

***

Anyway, never mind what jokes idiot radio DJs make.. I, for one, welcome our new chocolate orange overlord.

Shoulda called him Terry.

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Aaron Clarey thinks that the world’s most valuable commodity isn’t what you might think it is.

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Guido’s order-order website was always of a libertarian conservative bent and stood apart from the MSM’s general morass of progressivism and wilful stupidity. That time seems to be coming to an end. It’s obviously not gone un-noticed by the present minions at the website that their forebears Harry Cole and Alex Wickham went on to land cosy sinecures in the very same MSM swamp, and Paul Staines himself seems to be coming around to the idea that there’s more money in getting on the woketrain than in standing on the tracks waving your arms at it.

The signs are slender at the moment.. just one or two cracks in the facade, but that’s how it started at the Spectator and about 50% of the content in that now is irredemable bilge that’d have been palmed off to New Statesman or Prospect in the past.

Like casually smearing UKIP candidate Carl Benjamin as a ‘bell-end’ under a headline ‘Chris Leslie Smears Brexit Party’.

Or calling the interview Brillo did with Ben Shapiro a ‘defenestration’. God knows I hold no brief for Shapiro, but Brillo’s interview was a hatchet job on someone who speaks outside of the current Overton window. That was the only window Brillo threw Shapiro out of. That Shapiro made a fool of himself is both amusing and welcome. He didn’t do his research and he walked into a mantrap that anyone who knows Andrew Neil’s style could see a mile away. But at the end of the day, it was an MSM stalwart closing ranks against the irksome American who was once so beyond the pale as to work for Breitbart, and I cannot countenance celebrating that.

That drip drip drip of stories with a prog-establishment premise can so easily become a torrent.

***sultan

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For car porn, I was going to feature the BMW 635CSi. Then it occurred to me that it doesn’t look anything like as impressive and imposing in a photograph as they do in real life. So I changed my mind. I decided to do a car I’ve actually had myself: this is both the best and one of the worst cars I’ve ever owned.

I give you the Mercedes SLK AMG32.

Back in the day, Mercedes AMGs were the original Q cars. Looked nothing special, went like rocketships. They were built for the Autobahns and could sit all day at 250KM/h, cool as you like.

Mercedes-Benz SLK 32 AMG :: 3 photos and 87 specs ...

In the case of the SLK, of course, the Q stands for Quentin, and Quentin can do you a wicked Brazilian Blow-dry. Aside of the subtle badging, the only things visually distinguishing the AMG from the ponderous SLK320 it’s based on are the wheels and the front valance.

And that’s great cover, because no-one expects Quentin to have more than 350 supercharged BHP and do 0-60 in less than 5 seconds.

Byeee….

Sadly, only the engine and the brakes seem to have had significant AMG attention. Quentin shares a ponderous 5-speed autobox, terrible recirculating-ball steering and comfort-not-speed suspension with its vanilla parents, as well as a debilitating rust habit.

And yet I loved this car… with the first retractable hard-top roof, a classic Mercedes interior, continent-devouring ride-quality, a beatifully smooth and sonorous V6, augmented by charger-whine and exhaust bark at full chat, and the balls-out power of a big V8, it was just a delight.

And it was rare: there were less than 250 of these on UK roads when I had mine.. it’s down to about 180 now. It never let me down once in 4 years and 80,000 miles. Until the rust came. The rust was the only thing Chrysler contributed to this particular car, thanks to their cost-cutting on underbody protection.

When Mercs felt special

Then came the rest of the effects of the Chrysler merger, and no Merc has quite felt like such a quality car ever since. The signs had already surfaced by 2004 in the new C-Class and E-Class cars of the time – cheap plastic interiors, lack of reliability, a palpable shift from over-engineering to only-just-engineering.

Apart from the plutocrat’s own CL-class (C215 model), the SLK (R170 model) was the last of the cars made with that classic Merc feel. Even the coveted and spectacular SL55 suffered from the cheapness-factor of ‘new’ Mercs.

If these aren’t classics already, surely those 180 or so left are headed that way.

AJ

The Interconnectedness of all fuckups

What follows contains musings, questions and speculation. It was proofread by a dyspeptic angler fish and the layout was done by Joey Deacon. It doesn’t contain any facts, and it doesn’t contain answers, because nuclear armageddon and meteor strikes are off the table. 

I’ve taken a light and passing interest in the ongoing situation with Boeing and their flying meatsack tubes, specifically the 737 MAX. It’s been prompted largely by reading about it on Tim Newman’s blog. In it he identifies managerial malaise as a likely root cause. Other explanations are on the table so as to satisfy the proponents of every pet theory. There’s probably a bit of truth in all of them, but I think what Tim identifies, and his commenters add to, gets to the heart of the specific matter in question. And there are plenty more clues in and beneath this piece by the excellent Gareth Corfield in The Register.

But there are much wider and more fundamental factors in play. So much so that although there may be a few sacrificial lambs offered up to the FAA (and their global counterparts) by Boeing, we will never really get to the heart of the matter. Because at the centre of the matter is not a heart, but a burgeoning fibrous tumor that reaches invades and entangles the entire inner workings of modern society, the excision of which can only be fatal to the patient. As the tumor continues to grow, the question of fatality is not if but when, and the hour surely approaches.

Tim’s narrative of managerial dogmatism and wilful structural blindness to empirical truths meshes nicely with Gareth’s (and his commenters’) story of an errant subsystem whose design and production were outsourced, presumably to a global company with a ‘globalised’ workforce. But we’re still playing in a microcosm here – Boeing and their supplier, and it seems like the buck can only stop somewhere inside Boeing, though the senior management seem determined to ensure it won’t be them.

To consider the bigger picture is to wake up teetering over an abyss.

It’s too early to tell what damage this will do to Boeing. That’s largely in the hands of the regulators (who I’ll get to in a minute), and I suppose that there will be passengers who could be tempted to fly with an airline who doesn’t operate Boeing planes – I’d probably be one of them.

The Danse Macabre of Global Capital and Global Government.

It’s worth considering the possibility of Boeing going bust, and asking who would benefit, and who’s prepared to do what to keep it from happening.

  • Airbus, its EU partner countries and companies would certainly benefit from becoming the sole dominant maker of passenger jets. They could use a shot in the arm. Their A380 venture has been an almighty and expensive debacle. With French, Spanish, German and Dutch economies all having big stakes in Airbus, you can bet the EU will be flexing its muscles in their collective interests.

    You can bet the EU’s EASA will be provided with incentives to take a particularly robust view of Boeing’s safety record when it comes to allowing 737 MAX operations to resume.

  • A cash-rich Chinese, Russian or Middle-Eastern company could pick the bones from the carcass of a moribund Boeing. With the connivance of their respective governments and regulators, they could do it for profit, power and lulz, all of which would move East.

    It would be extremely surprising if China’s CAAC or Russia’s FATA were any more circumspect than EASA.

  • Those who dislike flying for environmental reasons may see benefits too. It would be unlike the greenies to miss an opportunity to stick the knife into Boeing while they’re on the canvas. The loss of a major producer reduces competition, allowing complacency within Airbus to grow, which allows costs and prices to drift upwards and standards to slide, reducing the number of passengers who are able or willing to pay the airfare.

    Airbus, then, as a single supplier would also be a prime target for activism, especially as it chiefly manufactures in EU countries that are much more amenable to eco-babble (and its underlying socialism) than the USA is.

  • Next there are the various diseased parasites who show up and take a cut whenever there’s a large amount of money at state. Lawyers, lobbyists, PR people, management consultants and auditors will all be gumming up the works with their reams of toilet roll decorated by the medium of Microsoft Office, and their gigatonnes of collective coffee-breath. A plague can be summarily cast on all of their houses.

And who stands to lose?

  • Well, there are the 137,000 people who work for Boeing across the USA, plus all those who work for their suppliers and subcontractors, which probably doubles that number. I expect there are some uppity labor unions with a word or two to say on their behalf.
  • There’s the US politicians who rely on the votes of those people as happy and productive voters, and count on Boeing as a deep-pocketed constituent with favours to buy from the reps, senators, governors and attorneys general of at least 9 US states. (Conversely there are those who would prefer all these people to be out-of-work clients of a provider state.)
  • And there’s the institutional investors who no doubt hold an enormous slice of Boeing’s $200Bn market cap, and all have shiny offices in New York.
  • Whether air passengers win or lose is an open question, I suppose. If choice reduces and prices rise, they lose, but if a fundamentally unsound company who has taken to turning out fundamentally unsafe aircraft beats its last, then have we honesty lost anything worth keeping? That isn’t to say that without Boeing to compete with, Airbus’s safety record would be maintained or improved? If they no-longer have mileage from putting ‘better engineered than Boeing’ on their powerpoint slides, why should they better engineer their planes? Against what benchmark would they strive to be better? Tupelev?

But somehow.. just like General Motors and all those banks, you just know that Boeing will go on, being as its Too Big To Fail (TM). Quite apart from the geopolitical ramifications of the USA no longer being a global player in the commercial airliners business, the core competency of modern business management is the dilution of responsibility to homeopathic extents by contriving to give business systems a life of their own, and stripping employees of all agency at the altar of process. Forget Deus Ex Machina, the machine IS the god now.

I find it fascinating – and its a topic in itself – that just as quickly as humanity unravels some of the great mysteries of the universe from general relativity to quantum mechanics, we feverishly generate our own equally impenetrable fog out of man-made parts. And what a fog it is… a globular soup of governments, regulators, politicians, charities, QUANGOs, financiers, lawyers, diplomats, lobbyists, consultants, missions, strategies, policies, systems and processes, HR departments, marketers, PR, outsourcers, freelance shit-shovelers and useful idiots, all thinly masking an air of menace, malice, recrimination and castigation. Some people think 1984 foreshadowed the world we live in today. Personally, I think Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy got far closer to the truth.

Big Brother had his shit together. We’re being fucked by the survivors of the Golgafrincham B Ark.

Or, to put it in today’s parlance, we’re in Clown World.

When it comes to whistleblowers, it seems like the very best they can hope for is to be ignored, rather than smeared, subject to dirty tricks, imprisoned and/or killed because the stakes are so high. Is anyone naive enough to think any different?

So nobody will really be to blame, and those planes falling out of the sky will be ‘just one of those things’.  We didn’t know anyone on the planes anyway.

And with that, the scene is set for a decade of obscure legal, regulatory and parliamentary tussles between and within world powers, embroiling and likely ruining myriad companies and, ultimately, people. Livelihoods and liberty forfeited, money burned, palms greased, power accrued, showtrials and public vilification of scapegoats on TV after X-Factor.

Meanwhile, the 6 guys responsible are at Martha’s Vineyard drinking L Ron Hubbard’s vintage piss out of Marylin Monroe’s mooncup, and fucking your 10 year old child.

Salute!

AJ

 

 

Countries really shouldn’t want their British-educated citizens back

Britain needs to accept responsibility for polluting the world.

The list of terrorists, despots and megalomaniacs educated in Britain and subsequently causing misery in their homelands is long and ignominious. In the economic sphere, a comprehensive 2015 article in the Spectator said as much (pastebin). But the scope of damage we are exporting around the world is much wider than the merely economic.

Sri Lanka suicide bomber Abdul Lathief Jameel Mohamed is just the latest in a long line of exports from the British higher education system, which seems to offer extraordinary indulgence to those of a certain bent.

There have been many before him.

So, as much as we may be rightly inclined to reject returnees from ISIS country, like Shamima Begum, the reciprocal case is surely just as strong if not stronger.

Surely every non – western country would be well advised to treat as dangerous any of their countrymen returning home equipped with the implacable sense of moral superiority that seems to be uniquely imbued by a stint at even a minor British university.

As such, it would not seem unreasonable for the UN to declare the UK to be a state known to nurture, develop and export dangerous individuals. We should be on a list. So should USA, Canada and Australia.

Our universities are, of course, equally adept at turning British stock (and those who shouldn’t be here but have a paper-right to remain) into absolute monsters who will go on to dismantle and destroy everything of which they are programmed to disapprove in their freshly minted righteous minds, but that’s our problem to deal with.

And, of course, if no country will re-admit someone who has experienced ‘British education’ then by default, we must not admit those people in the first place as they will be unable to leave again.

Sounds like a win-win for humanity to me.

AJ