I cried

.. inside when I read this article by a total and utter cunt called Michael Cross.

I would like the DVLA database of vehicle keepers posted on the web, so that all of us – whether busybodies, neighbourhood campaigners or even intrepid boy reporters – can link every registered vehicle on our roads to a name and address.

An infringement to privacy? I don’t think so. Operating a motor vehicle involves responsibilities as well as rights, and one of the longest established responsibilities is that a vehicle should be traceable back to its operator. I’m merely arguing that citizens, as well as the state, should have access to this information.

And it’s all for our own good, too, see?

Then there’s the "little brother" principle. We don’t necessarily like traffic enforcement cameras, but most of us drive more carefully when we’re under surveillance. Psychologically, the knowledge that thuggish behaviour on the roads might be traceable back to us personally (at worst, accompanied by vigilante-style retribution) might lead to more considerate and safer driving.

Oh yes. Good little robots. What could possibly go wrong? Well, in Switzerland, all motorists details are printed in a public directory, and the number plate goes with the keeper, not the car. The Swiss also have a rifle in every household and are notoriously calm and measured, not to say piss-boring.

The British? Well, I’m sure it’d all be just fine.

Arguments against? Yes, there’s the possibility of revenge attacks for bad driving, but the answer to that would be to come down hard on any such attacks.

Oh yes – what with the notoriously high clear-up rates for violent crime, and the fact that, even in a rural setting, there’s a phalanx of plods ready to jump to the defence of any householder assailed by a vengeful road-rager. And there’s no chance that the householder could be (1) prosecuted for trying to defend themselves from any attack, and (2) the coppers would then go over the householder’s car looking for any evidence of faults, insurance anomalies etc.

And what about an angry lunatic turning up on your doorstep after your girlfriend has driven your car, or after the guy at the garage took it for a test drive, or it’s been stolen?

But there’s more.

There’s also the near certainty that one set of users of the open vehicle register will be burglars. An expensive car registered in Cheshire but spotted in a Cornwall hotel is a good indicator of rich pickings.

Yes indeed.

As ever, it’s a matter of balance between liberty, civic duty and privacy. My belief is that, at the moment, we’re tilted too far towards personal privacy. No doubt some readers will disagree.

Errr.. right here, you cock-gargling weasel-felcher.

Let me tell you the uses I could put this facility to. Firstly, a campaign of agressive comminications and protest at:

• Caravan owners.
• People who hog the middle and outside lanes.
• People who flash me for overtaking them.
• People who swerve to stop me overtaking them.
• People who give me the finger.
• People who don’t use their mirrors.
• People who are paying more attention to their children than the road.
• Wankers in people carriers.
• People who park too close to me in multistory carparks.

And some groups that others may target:

• People with big cars
• People with 4x4s
• People with sports cars
• People who still use petrol cars
• Cars sporting foreign or religious symbols
• etc…

So you see, I don’t think this would work in righteous, aggrieved Britain.

Accordingly, go fuck yourself.

I guess to cite Ben Franklin or George Orwell would mean nothing to this Michael Cross fuckwit.

AJ