I think a see a way to resolve this conundrum

As if we needed another reason.

The Scots are right, though. If I lived in Aberdeen and Westminster were proposing a change that meant it’d still be dark at 10am in winter, I’d object too.

But here in the home counties, a move to Central European Time (CET) would be most welcome.

Scotland can cleave off in their own direction and establish Scottish Highland Time (SHiT).

What, exactly is stopping them? If they did that, England would be free to go its own way, instead of kowtowing to half a dozen porridge munching gingers.

Bring it on.

AJ

Advertisement

Jockstaposition

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Just as I embrace Scottish independence from an English point of view, I also embrace the A.B.E. attitude adopted by many Scots.

Why do the police even have time for this, when the porridge guzzlers are all busy beating their wives and deep-frying their children?

AJ

Clarkson finally cottons on

On 7th June 2009, I wrote a post called “A New Constitutional Settlement” in which I proposed redrawing the Scottish border along the M62.

So I was amused today to read Clarkson suggesting practically the same thing, for precisely the same reasons.

Well, Jezza. Let me say just this: First, bitch.

AJ

Solve the electoral crisis: Cut Scotland loose.

It’s a theme I’ve enthused about before. You may even have noticed the link in my sidebar to the campaign for Scottish independence.

Minette Marrin, a columnist with whom I find myself in frequent and violent agreement, raises a point very salient to our current electoral dilemma.

Cameron got 306 seats (against Brown’s 258), just 20 seats short of an overall majority. But Brown’s 258 included 41 from Scotland (out of 59 Scottish constituencies). Without these Scottish seats, the Labour party would have got only 217 to the Conservatives’ 305 and Clegg’s 46 (to which he would be reduced if he did not have his current 11 Lib Dem seats in Scotland).

It would be interesting to see the latest on these figures, too:

At the end of 2006 a famous ICM poll found that 52% of Scots wanted independence from Britain, but also — startlingly — that 59% of the English favoured separation from Scotland. As far as I know there have been no polls about this thorny issue since.

Someone on Twitter (I forget who, forgive me) came up with a superb idea – referenda on PR, Scottish Independence and EU membership, all on the same day – and that was before we learned of the latest attempt to prop up the Euro with OUR money.

Such a clutch of referenda would be sheer, unmitigated joy.

AJ

UPDATE: Via @RantinRab hark at how well Labour did in Scotland.

Aye, very good

Tom Harris is a funny man.

I suppose when heading out of power, one has to diversify. Charlie Brooker and Denis Norden should worry.

AJ

Scotland to be converted into a prison ship by Tories

A rising Scottish prison population will be addressed, according to leaked Tory plans, by converting Scotland into a prison ship.

The plan has the support of the Scottish National Party, who welcome this as a great step towards Scotland becoming self-sufficient and fully independent.

An SNP spokesman told the BBC:

This plan is a vindication of our drive toward Scottish independence. Scotland is well placed to become the world’s leading exporter of mail-sacks, license plates and Christmas cards.

But critics accused the SNP of getting ahead of themselves, as plans were unveiled to build a new Scottish Parliament.

 
Scotland’s greater independence demands a new parliament building

A representative of Citylink – appointed by the Scottish Executive as preferred partner for managing ‘New Scotland Prison’ – explained that the current Scottish Parliament building had already been earmarked as a perfect facility for psychiatric detainees – particularly those with megalomaniacal, delusional or psychotic disorders.

Other commercial sectors likely to benefit from these plans include suppliers of porridge oats, who were yesterday all out getting painted orange and having breast enhancements.

 
No-one thought anything of Katie Price’s interest in porridge.

Meanwhile, Edinburgh City Council lauded the proposals as a ringing endorsement of their maligned showcase tram system.

Arbeit Macht Fried Mars Bars

The plans are expected to receive fast-track approval from the EU government, who are keen to understand the feasibility of rolling this out across Europe.

In other news, residents of Corsica have expressed concern about 15ft barbed wire fences that have been erected along the coast line, in what an EU spokeman called, “essential maintenance to combat global warming induced coastal erosion.”

AJ

Smelly

This deserves our attention. I can’t find any more details right now, but I’m sure they’ll emerge.

 

This is the SNP anonyblogger who was apparently outed by a News Corp ‘journo’. Background here and here.

A former aide to a Scottish Government minister who left his post after a dispute over an internet blog has been charged with breach of the peace.

For doing what, precisely?

Lothian and Borders Police yesterday confirmed that a 47-year-old man had been arrested and charged in connection with an alleged breach of the peace. It is understood that police took action in response to e-mails allegedly from the blogger to his former boss. A report has been sent to the Procurator Fiscal.

For sending some emails?

WTF?

AJ

UPDATE: Some deeper background from the jolly splendid Wholly Rude.

Denormalisation of alcohol in Scotland

Ramping up again, I see.

Orly? Let’s see.

Economists at the University of York suggested the total burden to Scotland’s public purse every year of drink-related problems is between £2.5 billion and £4.6 billion.

Now. First of all, if this costs every Scot £900pa – and let’s just suppose it does – what is it costing the English? Remember we subsidise those Jock twats up to the eyeballs.

Moving on,

Economists at the University of York suggested the total burden to Scotland’s public purse every year of drink-related problems is between £2.5 billion and £4.6 billion.

The midpoint of the range of estimates, £3.56 billion, includes a £268.8 million cost to the NHS, £727.1 million to the criminal justice system and £230.5 million to social services.

That’s quite easily fixed with a claw hammer and a chainsaw.

The Scottish economy loses more than £865 million per year thanks to alcohol-related absenteeism, unemployment and early death, the study also suggested.

Early death? You’re counting the cost to the economy of people checking in their chips and not drudging on to 65? Fuck off, and while you’re going, check the cost of the benefits trap, the brain drain and the stagnation and Randian striking that high taxes and over-regulation cause.

Meanwhile, the human cost, including suffering caused by premature drink-related deaths, was estimated at £1.46 billion.

Oh now you’re just plucking crap out of the air. Dare one ask how such as cost was put on such intangibles?

Previous research had suggested the annual cost to taxpayers was £2.2 billion, and SNP ministers argued the new, higher total showed urgent action is required.

Ahh…. a hockey stick for Salmond?

They want to introduce a minimum price for alcohol, mooted at 40p per unit, but look set to be defeated after the three main opposition parties vowed to vote down the measure.

Nicola Sturgeon, the Scottish health minister, said: “This report, which takes a more comprehensive view than any previous study, indicates that the total cost of alcohol misuse to Scotland’s economy and society is even worse than we thought.

“The time for stalling is over and the need for action is clear.”

Clear indeed. I don’t think we agree on the required action. Almost certainly, your preference doesn’t include claw hammers or chainsaws – or your scrawny righteous cunting necks.

AJ

Can’t live with ‘em, can’t pour petrol over them and.. oh wait

Scotsman batters and deep-fries his woman.

Jessica, 17, became engulfed in a ball of flames when Stewart Blackburn set her alight in the bedroom of his flat in Arbroath, Angus, on April 25 this year.

A jury took less than two hours to find 18-year-old Blackburn guilty of murder after a 10-day trial at the High Court in Livingston.

Judge Lord Bracadale said Jessica suffered a "terrible death" at her boyfriend’s hands.

He said the crime would "deeply disturb" all right-thinking people.

I guess that’s me going straight to hell then.. lmao..

AJ

Suicide watch…

Eamonn Butler is the head of the Adam Smith Institute – a free-market think-tank.

But I’d not be surprised to hear that the Dignitas marketing folk were keen to retain his services.

I say this because, ever since I started reading this:

I’ve been increasingly curious about their services.

It’s an unceasing catalogue of the things that Gordon Brown and his coterie of bastards has done to our country.

Oh sure, there’s not much in there that you couldn’t find on most libertarian blogs, but the sheer scale of their destruction wrought upon the fabric of our economy, society, liberty, privacy, justice system and democratic protections is breath-taking.

I may, in fact, never finish this book, because I decide that I want to live. On the other hand, I may neck a fistful of vallium and get it over with. The book, I mean.

AJ

LOLLAGE…

Apparently, Labour winning a by-election in one of their safest seats, in Scotland at that, is a “dramatic victory”.. LMAO

Low-expectation-having motherfuckers.

Speaking on BBC Radio Scotland, the Scottish Secretary also claimed Labour’s victory was "an endorsement of Gordon Brown and what he is trying to do".

That can’t possibly reflect well on the people of Glasgow, then.

But it does confirm that Labour is truly the party of the delusional.

AJ

Buying votes…

I spotted this little story in the Mail on Sunday.

Labour has been accused of relying on the ‘welfare vote’ after the Conservatives published a provocative league table ranking Commons seats according to the number of benefit claimants.

A total of 189 constituencies in the first 200 are represented by Labour MPs, which the Tories claim explains why Ministers are failing to tackle the spiralling welfare bill.

I could have a good old rant about this, and the fact that the top five scroungers constituencies are über-entitled Scouse cunts, porridge wogs and mono-browed morlocks. Look:

Happily, however, Old Holborn has covered matters off nicely here:

One third of the seats in Parliament are represented by dole scounging, benefit sucking fucking wastrels, high on tax payers money and living the fucking life of Riley at the expense of everyone else.

There it is. Labour’s "client" state. Wonder why the streets are full of Stella swilling, Argos blinged mongtards without a care in the world? Labour WANTS it that way. Wondered why most of London speaks Somali and dresses in fucking tents? Labour wants it that way. Wondered why gun crime and violence in the UK makes us the most dangerous fucking place in Europe? Labour wants it that way.

You traitorous bastards. You have used our stolen money to fuck us. A country ruined so that YOU could have the power to bribe yourselves to yet more power.

In an adjacent post, OH also highlight’s a wonderful tale of pecksniff state drones, thinkofthechildrenism and thought crimes. Unbefeckinlievable.

AJ

More excellent news…

 

Sounds like a non-sequitur, doesn’t it…. But wait.

The Community Fire Safety study said chip pan fire and discarded cigarettes caused the most fatalities

Well, I’m shocked, and amazed.

Still, the ends justify the means, eh?

AJ

Torn…

I can’t make my mind up about this one…

Social workers have moved to take into care a baby born to an obese mother.

The mother — who cannot be named in order to protect the identity of the children — gave birth by Caesarean section last week in a Dundee hospital but was told within 24 hours that she would not be allowed to keep the baby.

She has already had the youngest of her six children, aged 3 and 4, removed from her care because social workers feared that they were at risk of becoming obese. The 40-year-old mother weighed 23 stone before falling pregnant.

The parents originally contacted social workers themselves to seek help with managing their children, one of whom has developmental problems.

So one the one side, we have an inexcusably fat woman, who hasn’t taken personal responsibility for her wellbeing. So what? Whose business is that but hers? If she dies, she dies. Her husband would have to take on the kids.

And who the fucking hell to social services think they are?

Ready for the twist?

At that time they had a toddler who weighed 4 stone and a 13-year-old boy who weighed more than 16 stone.

Ah… so actually, it is child abuse.

So in one corner we have a humongous biffer who is severely endangering the health of her children. One must, for that matter, assume the husband to be complicit too.

In the other corner, we have the self-righteous social workers, eager to stick their oar in, break up a family and thrust several children into a care system that has notoriously disastrous outcomes as the norm.

Were the parents offered a deal regarding weight and diet? Is there a hereditary genetic explanation for the weight of these people? Have they been given help, support, advice and medical attention? The answer appears to be a qualified ‘yes’:

The married couple, who cannot be named for legal reasons, were warned last year that that they had to bring their six children’s weight under control.

But the parents do apparently care in some what or another…

Speaking to The Times today the father of the baby, aged 54, said that the whole family was “heartbroken” at the loss of their baby.

And every cloud has a silver lining:

“I can’t sleep, I can’t eat. I can’t tell you how powerless I feel. The other children are devastated too,” he said.

Collectively, the family has lost 12 stone in the last week and the local kebab van has relocated to Dumfries.

Anyway, back to the socialist workers, for some smelliness:

The father said social workers had assured him last week that they would not go near the hospital and that he believed an interim report by Dundee Families Project recommending intensive support for the whole family was to be acted upon. He said he was “shocked and traumatised” that social workers had come into the labour ward and attempted to serve papers on his wife.

A hearing tomorrow will discuss a social work application to remove the families’ remaining three children.

The family has already made two legal attempts to have the two children already taken from them returned and they were due to make a third appeal against the decision today.

ANd here come some weasel words from the council:

A Dundee City Council spokesman said: “Local authorities who are involved in the welfare of children have a legal duty to ensure they are protected from publicity that may have a serious effect on them and the council takes seriously this responsibility.

Now to imply that there’s something more sinister afoot:

“We have made it clear on numerous occasions that children would not be removed from a family environment just because of a weight issue.”

Hmmm….

AJ

Another victim of our terrifying extradition treaty with the USA…

I only discovered this chap, hence his sorry story, because he started to follow me on Twatter.

I give you Brian Howes (follow Brian on Twatter…)

Couple faces extradition over chemical sales

US jail threat to Scots family

By Craig Robertson

A SCOTS mum facing extradition to the US still doesn’t know when her fate will be decided — despite being due to give birth in just 10 days.

Mum-of-four Kerry Howes, who has been diagnosed with severe depression and post traumatic stress disorder, appeared at the High Court in Edinburgh on Friday but a hearing date was not set.

It means the 31-year-old faces a home birth without knowing if she will soon be taken 5000 miles away and thrown into jail.

Up to 98 years

Kerry and husband Brian (45) from Bo’ness face up to 98 years in an Arizona jail if found guilty of exporting chemicals US authorities claim were used to make the drug crystal meth.

The couple ran a legal chemical business — Lab Chemicals International — until targeted by undercover agents posing as buyers after a tip-off by one American citizen.

They accused Brian and Kerry of selling iodine and red phosphorus in the knowledge they would be used to manufacture the highly addictive drug. The couple maintain they were simply selling chemicals to be used in amateur pyrotechnics.

Red phosphorous is perfectly legal in the UK but strictly regulated in the US.

“We’ve done nothing wrong,” Brian told The Sunday Post. “We sold chemicals online to be used in fireworks, some as medication for animals and for sheep dip. We sold them everywhere except where they were embargoed.

Registered

“We were registered with the Special Branch and the Home Office. Central Scotland Police visited us regularly and we would ask if there was anything on the site we shouldn’t be selling and they always said no. Also we only dealt in credit card sales so all transactions were traceable.

“They even asked us to report any Muslim names among the people buying from us and we agreed to do that. Then the next thing we know we face extradition to the US without any evidence against us whatsoever.”

Brian and Kerry spent 214 days in separate prisons without charge last year, he in Saughton and she in Cornton Vale.

The couple were eventually released on bail but only after Brian went on a 30-day hunger strike to prevent the children being put into care.

That episode has left him with minor brain damage. Kerry has been left depressed at the prospect of losing her children — Denni (11), Bethaney (10), Ellie (6) and Leela (3).

One-sided treaty

The couple are victims of the one-sided post-September 11 extradition treaty which allows UK citizens to be forced to the US to stand trial. It allows Britons to be extradited without prima facie evidence of criminality.

“We’re being extradited on false information and none of it can be challenged,” said Brian.

The couple’s cases are now being considered separately and Kerry returned to the High Court in Edinburgh on Friday. She met with a new advocate and new medical reports were called for.

“No date was set, not even for a preliminary hearing,” explained Brian. “The judges said they were unhappy that our cases are being dealt with separately.

Refused

“My case is scheduled for May 26 to 29 and Kerry’s will not be set until after that. If I win, she wins automatically, that has been made clear. If I lose then she will go into court after that.”

The couple have been refused application to have their bail conditions changed to allow both of them to attend hospital for the birth of the baby.

Brian’s curfew insists he is at home from 8 pm to 8 am and both must sign on at their local police station three times a day. As a result they feel they have no option but to go for a home birth.

The extradition was formally approved by Scottish Justice Minister Kenny MacAskill. A Justice spokesman said they could not comment subject to the appeal to the High Court.

I’m just fucking dumbstruck.

For more coverage, get over to Brian’s blog – he, his wife and their children deserve the support of every UK citizen.

Never ever forget what Labour have given away of ours. To the EU. To the USA. Where Blair and Brown get gongs and honours to say nothing of sinecures.

AJ

It’s not racist to hate a foreign oppressor…

This is quite smelly too…

Detectives are hunting an elderly letter writer with virulent pro-English views responsible for sending more than 50 pieces of racially abusive hate mail to people including the Prime Minister.

Are the Scotch a race now, then? Since fucking when? If you’d care to propose that they are an altogether different species, however, I may listen.

Let’s look at what this random nut-job has done. then.

The writer expresses anti-BBC views and accuses the corporation of racial bias.

OMFGZZZZ! Criminal mastermind and leader of the Fourth Reich, indeed.

The Scottish Parliament and system is also a regular target for abuse. Commonly used phrases in the letters include “English Parliament”, “Exit Europe”, “Repatriation” and “BBC Shutdown”.

Now, look. I’m sure that if any of these letters contained the words “paki” or “nigger”, or anything about Islam, that would have been front and centre of the article, would it not? No – the dangerous phrases are “English Parliament”, “Exit Europe”, “Repatriation” and “BBC Shutdown”.

Various police forces had already started their own investigations when letters were received in their areas, but the Hampshire force has since taken control of the inquiry.

Officers have taken hundreds of statements and the Forensic Science Service has examined hundreds of articles for fingerprints and DNA.

WHY?

WHY ARE THE POLICE EVEN INVOLVED, LET ALONE DEDICATING POSSIBLY HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF POUNDS OF RESOURCES TO THIS EGREGIOUS THOUGHT-CRIMINAL?

“We have made some progress, but we need the public’s assistance in helping us find the person responsible for sending this nasty series of racially abusive letters, some of the recipients of which have been left extremely distressed by the content," added Det Insp Goff.

Show me the evidence of racial abuse. So far, all you’ve shown me is the opinion of the mainstream wing of the blogosphere, which last time I looked (and I can’t be sure any more) was not illegal.

“We are hoping that someone will recognise the handwriting, or the particularly distinctive style of illustration used in many of the letters.

I’m sure you are, because you’re going to look like a right bunch of fuck-knuckles when you can’t find Victor Fucking Meldrew.

“Do you know someone who does drawings like this? Do you recognise the writing? Perhaps you work in a post office and recognise the writing of a regular customer? If so, we urgently want to hear from you so we can bring an end to this series of racial abuse.”

Oh and anyone who provides these fascist cunts with any information should be buttfucked with a JCB.

If JD or Steve Shark are reading, I know what you’re thinking, but my view wouldn’t change if this guy turned out to be an EDP member.

AJ

New Puritanism…

Earlier, I wondered aloud from whence came this new age of Puritanism.

I think I have the answer. Scotland. More accurately, Protestants. Dour, work-obsessed, self-flagellating, abstemious, pious, judgemental fuckbaskets.

http://devilskitchen.me.uk/2009/09/doctors-still-lying-about-alcohol.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/rachelsylvester/3555989/Roundhead-Gordon-Browns-New-Puritans.html

Still, at least they don’t fuck your kids, like the Catholics, eh? Wrong…

I mean, for fucks sake, give over your first born to the pederasts with the wine and incense and let the fucking good times roll again.

By the way, have you noticed how Christians of all hues these days are pretty shit at forbearance and forgiveness?

I don’t read the Bible much, but I went to school for a while and I’m fairly sure that Jeebus was pretty hot on those two qualities, right there.

AJ

Scotland’s finest export… *

This woman is awesome, even if she is pale blue…

AJ

* The title accounts for the fact that I have a glass of Glenfiddich on my desk… to wit, KT Tunstall on my desk would put a much bigger smile on my face. Until she tried to batter me and deep-fry me, of course. In Scotland, ‘good enough to eat’ is a war-cry, and batter is inevitable!

A victory worth savouring…

in the comments of this post…

Have that, you Bucky-guzzling caber-swallower. :oP

AJ

Sound Arguments on Fiscal Autonomy for Scotland…

From Mr Eugenides this time. An actual Scottish bloggist ;-)

While he is of course entirely correct, methinks Fraser Nelson is Nat-baiting just a wee bit when he says:

This time next year, Mr Cameron will probably be the Prime Minister of Scotland.

The thrust of his piece is that there is an odd coalition a-brewin’ between the Scottish Tories and the SNP, which may result in the next Conservative government granting Scotland something for which this blogger has long argued; fiscal autonomy – simply put, that Scotland should have responsibility for raising the money it wishes to spend, rather than relying on subsidy from the rest of the United Kingdom to keep our public spending artificially high.

Fiscal autonomy is controversial, and fraught with technical difficulties; assessing Scotland’s "income" in a devolved fiscal settlement would involve, among other things, finding some way to split proceeds from our natural resources – you may have heard of some stuff under the North Sea that begins with the letter "O"? (The Nats, by the way, must be the only lefties in the Western world who are in favour of Big Oil. Who says incentives don’t matter?)

And Fraser is surely right to worry that such a step would bring the ultimate separation that bit closer; if Scotland is both politically and fiscally independent from the rest of the country – not to mention legally, religiously, educationally, journalistically and sportingly – then it will be harder to argue that full independence would constitute a giant leap into the unknown (though of course, given their ardent pro-EU stance, the Nats are hardly in favour of full independence either).

Nonetheless, I still believe it’s a good idea. There are loads of reasons, but I want to mention three.

Read on…

AJ