I love to say I told you so

While I’ve not followed Barry Obama’s progress in any kind of detail, I laid my cards on the table from day one, pinning him down as a messianic commie windbag.

Here in the UK, there were many useful idiots, PC drones and other predictably invertebrate types all backing Barry with a fervour that concerned me greatly.

I truly hope all those individuals are worrying deeply about their pensions today. And that their worry proves to be well founded. Although I suppose many of the same people voted for Blair and Brown, who did phenomenal damage to UK pensions, so I guess they don’t care.

Over in the US, by this time last year, the seppos were so full of themselves, they’d decided that we are a laughing stock. Not so fast said I, I’ve seen your future & you won’t like it.

We’ll see who’s laughing in 8 years time, Yankees….. all of Bazza’s good ideas will be drowned at birth and a whole load of commie, authoritarian, constitution mangling shit will be invading every orifice of your existence.

Let’s have a quick look at how good ole Bazza’s doing, just 16 months into those (he hopes) 8 years.


Not brilliant, is it?

So, it’s against this backdrop that I express profound disappointment in apparently sensible people like Dan Hannan, who backed Obama in November 2008. But today, he has belatedly attempted to correct that grave mistake. A pretty good job he has done, too.


His fondness for the EU is matched by his disdain for the United Kingdom. It’s not the diplomatic snubs that bother me: the dissing of Gordon Brown, the insulting gifts, the sending back of Winston Churchill’s bust. It’s not even the faux-anger towards the company he insists on calling “British” Petroleum. (No such firm has existed since the merger of BP and Amoco nine years ago. Thirty-nine per cent of BP shares are American-owned, and 40 per cent British-owned. The stricken rig in the Gulf is owned by Transocean, and the drilling was carried out by Halliburton, yet Obama isn’t demanding compensation from either of these American corporations.)

All these things are minor irritants compared to the way the Obama administration is backing Peronist Argentina’s claim to the Falkland Islands – or, as Obama’s people call them, “the Malvinas”. British troops were the only sizeable contingent to support the US in Iraq and Afghanistan. We have fought alongside America in most of the conflicts of the past hundred years. Yet, when the chips are down, Obama lines up with Hugo Chávez and Daniel Ortega against us.

So.. err… he turned out to be a messianic commie windbag you mean, Dan?

Funny, that.



Heed my advice or fail

Written in June last year:


Liability of only slightly smaller proportions than Mad Nadine Dorries…. Or is she the equal-opportunities ginger, so immune?

Today, via Obo.


So, we’ve had a week before the Tories have revealed themselves to be exactly the same thieving, greedy, duplicitous cunts as Labour. Well … we knew it from the expenses scandal, but iDave must be shitting himself at this little clusterfuck.

And if he’d just accepted the warning from the nannygate scandal and given Spelman the heave-ho at the time, none of this rumbling would be threatening his honeymoon with Nick. I can only assume she knows where the bodies are buried.

Still, you massively-foreheaded cunt, let that be a fucking lesson to you.
Not that you’ll listen.

Do read on and follow the links to Guido’s place here and here.


Signs of an accurate prediction?

If you look back over my posts, I have a fair few predictions hanging in the air, including who’ll win the election, the impending double-dip, the collapse of our electricity generating capacity on the next 3-5 years, and this:

What is rather more concerning is this proposal, which takes me off on something of a tinfoil-hatted tangent:

The expected new rules would make it illegal to drive under the influence of prescribed drugs or in excess of a specified drug limit. The present law penalises only drivers whose performance is impaired by illegal drugs.

This opens a Pandora’s box – what prescription drugs could be included in this? Xanax? Diclofenac? Anti-depressants? Is it possible that vast swathes of people who have been driving safely for years, while taking prescribed meds for chronic conditions, could be swept off the road by the stroke of a minister’s pen?

Today, I read this:


So what? Well, have you ever heard this before in a report on motoring misdemeanours?

Police tracked him to an address in Ely and thought he had been drinking. An alcohol test was clear, but traces of an anti-depressant were found.

Creeping, creeping, creeping ahead.


Just do it

On 25th October 2009, I reckoned:

So, announce an election, and launch a campaign on 25th Jan. ‘Good’ economic news from Q4 gets Gordo off to a (falsely) encouraging start. He’ll be planning as long and tortuous a campaign as possible, because he’ll want maximum opportunities for the Dib Lems and Blue Labour to fuck up. As I’ve said before, Gordo really has nothing to lose.

Today is that day … and on Twatter:




But this is all just talk. Here’s the money:


We can, as IanPJ say, only hope.




Jahomstradamus’ pre-requisites for the double dip. Part 1…

One piece just started to fall into place… this is from October 25th 2009:

For the nation as a whole, it has been a year of shitty news on the economy, hectoring from the state about every damned thing we do, utter desperation about the state of education, the NHS, justice, law & order and the ghastly corruption, venality and greed of our elected ‘representatives’. Faith in democracy is draining away. People are fucking pissed off. Depressed. Deprived of joy.

In the meantime, a bunch of people have moved onto tracker mortgages at tasty rates, freeing up disposable income (but not for paying down capital, natch).

In this society, many people acquire and consume goods as an abstract pursuit. An end in itself, which satiates psychological needs imbued by aggressive and invasive advertising. Tis a given, right?

These factors combined with the continuing availability of (not cheap) credit cards will fuel a Christmas consumer binge. We know that much of the economic growth in the last 10 years has been driven by insane consumerism. This binge will drag the economy back on to an upward trajectory. But only for Q4 ‘09.

In January, we’ll all sober up from our binge, open our bank statements and discover we’re gonna have to eat tinned beans on Tesco value toast until payday.

At which point the economy falls back into diminution.

Today in the Times:


Are you optimistic? Or are you spending to numb the pain and face the consequences later?

Today’s poll will boost government hopes that voters may be feeling more positive by the time of the general election next spring. It shows that the number of voters thinking the country as a whole will do well over the next year has risen from a quarter to a third since July and is now the highest since April 2008.

But nearly two thirds still think that the country will do badly over the next year.

So, 65% think we’re still gonna be fucked for the next year. And yet:

Its findings come as the best October high street sales for seven years have fuelled hopes that a pre-Christmas surge in spending could confirm the country’s emergence from recession.

Hmmmm… with this in mind, I think my reasoning for a predicted election date of 8th April is looking more solid.


Jahomstradamus for the win…

March 29th 2009

Thanks a fucking bunch says everyone…

Filed under: Larf — Al Jahom @ 11:23 pm

They’re bound to go for this. This government’s eye for a lose-lose-lose strategy is just uncanny. You have to laugh.

Cut in maternity leave to give fathers more time off

Statutory maternity leave should be cut to six months and new paid leave given to fathers, a report from the equalities watchdog says.

The focus on maternity leave has entrenched the notion that only mothers look after children and damages women’s careers by making them less attractive employees, the group warns.

I can immediately spot three groups who could lose out from this:

i) Women who have given birth. Do they want to go back to work ‘so soon’?

ii) New fathers who would rather be paid to polish the toilet floors in the Blue Oyster Bar than to spend any more time with their miraculous new shitting air-raid sirens.

iii) The productive members of the economy. The trouble with post-natal women, and I speak from a position of complete ignorance, is that they’re either completely mental or utterly baffled. With most it’s quite clear that their brains take a while to return to proper functioning order. Others will never recover. About a year is probably right to know for sure. So what’s the point in having them back in the business sooner than that, with all the post-natal prolapsed rectum treatments they’ll be excusing themselves for? In the meantime, productive men will be taken out of the economy for longer.

October 22nd 2009:



A thought experiment…

What would be the impact on the Tory party conference if Gordo were to announce tomorrow evening that he’s stepping down and triggering a leadership contest?

I think it’d sink the Tory conference, in terms of media coverage, and turn the focus back upon Labour and the chance to pick a new leader to take them into the election. Fresh geysers of hope would be tapped amongst the unwashed and Labour faithful.

No one would be listening to the Tories then. Especially not those who only crossed over to the blue side because of Brown.



Jahomstradamus update….

ON 7 December 2008, I wrote:

Arnold Schwarzenegger to run for President in 2012

Filed under: Larf, Nostradamus Lives, US Election 2012 — aljahom @ 4:20 pm Edit This

Yes. I know. Not possible. There was talk sometime back about changing the rules so that he could run for President. Now it may happen by default.

There’s a notion that Obama was born in Kenya. If this turns out to be the case, there will inevitably be a legal bunfight. Equally inevitable is the fudge that will be put in place, to ensure that Obama can continue as President.

The unexpected consequence of this will be that Arnie will, by default, become entitled to run.

And it turned out that Arnie’s up for it.

Today, I see what may have been a nutty conspiracy theory take another step forward… John Ray’s Dissecting Leftism tells us that…

Obama is a foreigner!
In a move certain to fuel the debate over Obama’s qualifications for the presidency, the group Americans for Freedom of Information has Released copies of President Obama’s college transcripts from Occidental College Released today, the transcript indicates that Obama, under the name Barry Soetoro, received financial aid as a foreign student from Indonesia as an undergraduate at the school. The transcript was released by Occidental College in compliance with a court order in a suit brought by the group in the Superior Court of California. The transcript shows that Obama (Soetoro) applied for financial aid and was awarded a fellowship for foreign students from the Fulbright Foundation Scholarship program. To qualify, for the scholarship, a student must claim foreign citizenship. This document would seem to provide the smoking gun that many of Obama’s detractors have been seeking.

Along with the evidence that he was first born in Kenya and there is no record of him ever applying for US citizenship, this is looking pretty grim. The news has created a firestorm at the White House as the release casts increasing doubt about Obama’s legitimacy and qualification to serve as president. When reached for comment in London, where he has been in meetings with British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, Obama smiled but refused comment on the issue.

Britain’s Daily Mail also carried the story in a front-page article titled, Obama Eligibility Questioned leading some to speculate that the story may overshadow economic issues on Obama’s first official visit to the U.K.

In a related matter, under growing pressure from several groups, Justice Antonin Scalia announced that the Supreme Court agreed on Tuesday to hear arguments concerning Obama’s legal eligibility to serve as President in a case brought by Leo Donofrio of New Jersey . This lawsuit claims Obama’s dual citizenship disqualified him from serving as president. Donofrio’s case is just one of 18 suits brought by citizens demanding proof of Obama’s citizenship or qualification to serve as president.

Gary Kreep of the United States Justice Foundation has released the results of their investigation of Obama’s campaign spending. This study estimates that Obama has spent upwards of $950,000 in campaign funds in the past year with eleven law firms in 12 states for legal resources to block disclosure of any of his personal records. Mr. Kreep indicated that the investigation is still ongoing but that the final report will be provided to the U.S. Attorney General, Eric Holder. Mr. Holder has refused to comment on the matter.


Things that make you go hmmmm…


A random prediction…

Mancunians will be aware that, soon after they built the ‘missing link’ section of the Manchester orbital motorway (M60), they had to close a long section again to cure problems with standing water, at a cost of several million quid. Standing water is a major hazard and should not accumulate on motorways.

Well, the widened section of the M25 between the M3 & M4, completed a couple of years back, was awash with standing water after the heavens had opened this morning.

Therefore, I predict that they’ll have the whole J12-J15 section of the M25 up again within the year.


Previous Jahomstradamuses…

Previously, on Al Jahomzah..


2009 Euro-elections: UKIP & BNP big gainers. Labour big fat fuck-faced losers.

Public opinion against Europe is hardening in the UK and will continue to do so – especially now we can’t go over to the Eurozone and lord it over them with our fat wallets anymore. A lot of plebs will decide they can’t afford to go to Europe in 2009 and they’ll resent it.

By then, the new limits on how much booze and tobacco we can bring home will probably have been implemented. Perhaps the weak pound will ameliorate the impact of that, or perhaps it will compound the resentment in people’s minds, at a time when everything is crap, they can’t even get cheap fags. After all, even with £1 = €1, fags are still significantly cheaper in most EU countries. Also, the restrictions on buying cheap booze in the UK, the mandatory ‘Alcohol Code’ introduced by Jacqui Smith, will be bearing down on us.

Few will care about the impact of European law and its empowerment of our own Police to tap our computers remotely, without a warrant. Or about the internal EU politics numptitude, though some may point at a time of recession to the obscene expenses and benefits the Euro-gravytrainers get.

Of course, by the time of these elections, in June, the campaign for the Irish re-run of the Lisbon referendum will be in swing, and that will make for interesting viewing – they’re have a new vote in October 2009, apparently. This will help to highlight to utter shiftiness of the whole EU bunch to the British public – not that this is assured by the dead-tree press and the BBBC. At least there’ll be the reminders that we didn’t get a vote at all.

UKIP will do well amongst those who are incensed by the EU, because they know that the Tories are not offering anything to Eurosceptics. The Tories will do well amongst people who believe that the most important thing is to kick Gordon Brown in the face. The wheels are in motion to mitigate against the rise of the BNP, with Hazel Blears ‘feeling the pain’ of people who live in towns that have been transformed into Muslim ghettos in a generation. So, the BNP will do well everywhere Hazel Blears shows up, with their supporters deciding it would be best if their whitest and brightest were sent to sit in a fishtank is Brussels for 5 years, unable to do a fucking thing against the steam-rolling Frogs and Krauts.

Always remember those who voted for the reduced alcohol and tobacco limits when voting:

In a knife-edge vote on Wednesday, 328 MEPs were in favour of the move and 319 were against the strict new guidelines for “personal consumption”.

Three out of 10 South East Euro-MPs, who represent Kent, voted in favour of the legislation, which could come into force in two years’ time – Caroline Lucas, po-faced cunt leader of the Green Party, hatchet-faced bitch Lib Dem Sharon Bowles and misery-spreading -communist-wanker Labour’s Peter Skinner.

Incidentally, I have found out that the approval of this measure was by 328 votes to 319 with 34 abstentions. But I’ve yet to work out who, other than the above purtian fuckheads voted for this measure, or abstained. What we do have is the list of UK MEPs.

One final group I haven’t considered: The AGW true-believers, who will become disillusioned with the EU, while Vaclav Klaus is in the chair with his finely-honed scepticism. They’ll all vote green, like the deluded Che bothering mongs that they are.

Let’s see how we get on… fetch popcorn.



A wild and hugely unlikely piece of speculation.

Having read this:

Asked on BBC Radio 4’s the World This Weekend if Mr Brown would be prepared to step aside if his senior colleagues told him that it was time to go, Ms Jowell said: “Gordon Brown loves the Labour Party, he is Labour through and through.

“If Gordon Brown were to reach a conclusion that he personally was an obstacle to Labour’s recovery and achievement, then of course."

I predict that, during his meeting with the PLP tomorrow, he’ll agree to step down at the party conference, at which point a new anointee can be showered with gold and prepare for a May 2010 election.

I predict that he’ll make his announcement some time in the next 7-10 days.

This means he’ll be gone between 27th September and 1st October and I’ll win my bet :-)

Fingers crossed.


Gordo’s epitaph, written 25 years ago…

Via Obo, I see that a chap researching the history of Private Eye came up with this:

Look who’s just popped up in the New Boys column, almost certainly written by Christopher Silvester in issue 584, 4 May 1984:

Dr Gordon Brown

The new Labour member for Dunfermline East, Dr Gordon Brown, is typical of the brand of mediocre, middle-class careerists who make up an increasing proportion of the undistinguished lobby-fodder and whom Labour habitually returns from Scotland, though he has greater academic pretensions than most.

Brown shot to provincial fame on being elected as Edinburgh University’s first student Rector in the late 1960s and ever since his ambition has outstripped his ability. Although, in a tribute, his old history tutor Dr Paul Addison has stated that Brown was “always more than a swot”, it appears that he lacked certain essential social graces. He never fully recovered from his rejection as suitor by the lovely Princess Marguerita of Romania (who works as a computer programmer in the University’s Computer Department) and ever since has devoted himself obsessively to his political career.

Before becoming Labour’s Scottish Chairman (a meaningless appointment made on the “Buggins’ Turn” principle) Brown worked on a series of current affairs documentaries for Scottish TV which were so excruciatingly dull that he was mercifully taken off the air (he has two brothers in the Scots media).

Once again he has been exceeding his limitations in his new role as a Scots lackey in the outer limits of Kinnock’s kitchen cabinet. A recent Sunday Times article which he had ghosted for the new labour leader had to be withdrawn as “hopeless” by Kinnock’s press officer, Patricia “Harpie” Hewitt.

In June, Brown will enjoy a three-week CIA freebie trip to the USA (he will get $60 a day pocket money while out there.) Kinnock felt obliged to approve this unfashionable hostage to fortune because he himself had been on a similar trip some years ago.

I suppose it gives credibility to parents and teachers in trying reassure their illiterate, unsocialised little charges that they could be Prime Minister one day, if they work really hard. Even in the apparent absence of any positive characteristics whatsoever.

In the Labour party, the post Prime Minister can be awarded on the above mentioned ‘Buggins’s Turn’ basis. Fucking hell.


A prediction…

In 2014-15 there will be a general election. The BNP will win more seats in Parliament than the LibDems.

Where will all of these new BNP voters come from? Well, apart from the disaffected old Labourists, there’s a whole new tranche currently coming through the education system.

Ethnic minority pupils race ahead of poor white classmates in schools

Immigrant pupils are overtaking many white children at school because their families place more value on education, a key Government adviser has said.

The Government has poured millions of pounds in to tackling boys’ underachievement, yet only 15 per cent of 16-year-old white boys who qualify for free school meals – an indicator of deprivation – leave schools with five GCSEs at grades A* to C, including maths and English.

The figure for black boys from similar backgrounds is 22 per cent and for children from Asian backgrounds, 29 per cent – still low but improving.

Some critics have argued that funding ringfenced for ethnic minority pupils should be redirected.

In a report last year, researchers from Manchester University identified a cycle of underachievement in white working-class families which was endemic in some areas.

The report, which focused on how some schools were bucking the trend, said that teachers had to abandon the mindset that poor white children were doomed to failure because of their background.

This is where they’re going to come from. After all, the Tories may well win in 2010, but they’ll be running an austerity government to get us out of the cavern of shite we’re getting ourselves into just now. They will be kicked out in 2015, a Falklands scenario notwithstanding, and who will be able to win power then? The balance of power will be everything and the BNP will come frighteningly close to holding it in their hands.

After all, as pointed out here, regarding the complete lack of substance emanating from the Cameroons:

The great problem is that, despite that failure, the erstwhile Conservatives will probably win the next general election. The even bigger problem will be that many of them will have convinced themselves that they won the election "on merit" rather than simply benefiting from the collapse of Labour.

Then the overwhelming problem will be that, having failed entirely to think through any coherent policies, and having suppressed debate on so many issues, they will not have the first idea of how to govern the country. From day one, they will be on the back foot, reacting to rather than dictating the agenda.

The fourth and final problem will be that when the erstwhile Conservatives fail – as indeed they must – there will no longer be an alternative party as a reservoir of hope for the deluded. It will be too soon for a Labour recovery.

Then the fun will really start.

My earlier prediction was that Norsefire would win a 2015 election, on the basis that Labour win next year (which is looking ever more unlikely – especially if Broon stays). The reality is no less grim.


Daily Mash: Pre-empted.

But they’re still way funnier than me, so I forgive them.


GORDON Brown last night dismissed calls to surrender his £123,000 a year pension when he is forced to stop being prime minister next June.

Mr Brown was defiant in the face of City outrage despite the UK government’s annual operating loss of £100bn, rising to £1.5 trillion when the write-down of its banking assets is taken into account.

The prime minister said: "I’ve been building up this pension since I became an MP, it’s all completely legal and now you want to take it away because I’ve been catastrophically bad at my job and you’re looking for a scapegoat. What gives?"

He added: "Yes I’ve been in charge of financial regulation for 12 years, yes I encouraged the housing bubble, and yes I pissed billions up the wall giving pointless jobs to Labour voters, but I fail to see what any of this has to do with me being incredibly well off."

Brown’s £3m pension pot is expected to cast the spotlight on the extravagant retirement packages of other failed politicians including Alistair Darling’s inexplicable £1.7m and the £1.5m awarded to John Prescott for being a national scandal for 10 years.

Martin Bishop, head of pension rows at the Institute for Studies, said: "It’s a fascinating dynamic. The politicians blame the bankers, the bankers blame the politicians, and the ordinary taxpayer is down on all fours with a confused look on his face, being fucked at both ends."


What’s Mandelbum’s agenda?

It’s coming to something when Peter Fondlebum is the voice of common sense. But then, I suppose it depends on who he is being compared with. In this case, it’s Harriet Hormone. So there we are. (H/T Bella Emberg)

With all the duckings and weavings since his return to office (and accession to the green benches) – one has to wonder what the flying lentil-grass is going on.

There has been, prior to this latest outburst, his reminder to displaced workers that they can always go and get jobs in other EU countries, his vigorous defence of the UK economy against NuLab major funders Unite and against the bloke who launched Starbucks.

So what does the lizard-king want? Leadership of the party? I think not – he is a creature of the shadows, his love of attention notwithstanding. Kingmaker is more like it. It has been his role in the past, with the making of Blair. It seems to have given him everything, with so few of the downsides that it’s laughable.

But if he’s playing games to position himself as Kingmaker again, why all this publicity that is antagonistic toward the left? I can’t help thinking he’s planning something more public and he knows (or judges) something about Gordo that others at the top of the party either don’t know, or are in denial about.

Suppose that, as the architect of Blairism, he figures that people do in fact miss Blair – who was pretty right wing as far as the Labour Party is concerned – and his plan for Labour hanging on at the next election is to show that centre-ground politics (an area Broon has never been comfortable in) are still in the purview of the party. That will involve two things – 1st will be replacing Brown with a Blairite – I don’t know who just now, but Balls and the Millipedes are out. 2nd will be 1994 all over again – the crushing of the left wing animals currently being roused from their comfortable slumber on the back-benches (and as ministers).

The betting markets seem to indicate that most are assuming the next (permanent) leader of Labour will be selected after a general election defeat. Which is why Harriet Hormone is favourite at 10/3 against. If there’s a poisoned chalice I’d like her to have, it would be this. Interesting that William Hague, who picked up that mantle for the Tories in ‘97, is effectively shadowing Hormone – they do so at PMQs in the absence of Broon.

But I’m increasingly convinced that there is a chance of a change of leader this year. The strategy, if Mandelbum’s signals mean anything, is a drastic reversion to Blairite centrism, in time for a fighting chance at an election next June. It would never be possible if Broon’s grip on power and reality wasn’t loosening so obviously – but it is, and it is.

So who? Purnell is in the frame (9/1) – he’s bright but he’s wet behind the ears. I seem him up for a realistic stab at Labour leadership in the situation where Labour lose the next election and Harriet Hormone spends 3 years being lampooned and lambasted as the hand on the tiller of the Mary Celeste. Of course, I think Purnell is a prime candidate for defection to the Tory benches if pragmatism is in his grasp. He’ll need to get a proper fucking haircut first, though.

So who? Well, there was recent press mention that Blair wanted Charles Clarke (50/1) to succeed him, but that won’t wash. I think Jack Straw is the most likely option (12/1), followed by Alan Milburn (33/1), who has been conspicuously absent recently.

We will see – the only thing for sure is that the wheels are falling off Gordo’s wagon. Which brings us to a more fundamental question: What on earth made Gordo bring Mandelbum back? Perhaps it was the price he had to pay for calling off the leadership challenges last year.