The Girl with the Gordon Gun

Poor little rich girl, Ellie Gellard, seems to have definitely caught the lurgy from Gordon.

From the moment she endorsed Ed Balls in the Guardian, things looked bleak for Blinky.

I find no shame, therefore, in guffawing like a good’un at this:

Of the leadership contenders, Andy Burnham fares best, with an approval rating of -2, followed by Ed Miliband on – 5, David Miliband on -7 and Ed Balls on -39. Of the four, more of the public (61 per cent) had an opinion on Balls than any other candidate.

That’s quite something, and I think it’s worth presenting in a graphical form.

What’s more:

Of the four, more of the public (61 per cent) had an opinion on Balls than any other candidate.

One thing is for sure, it’ll look properly rum if he wins this contest, care of the unions.

AJ

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Is it time to switch allegiance?

It’s becoming clear that Balls is doomed. So I wonder if it’s time to take a proper look at Diane Abbott.

Happily, over at DK’s place The Filthy Smoker has done some excellent groundwork.

A vote for Diane Abbott is a vote for

• Eye-rolling
• Interrupting
• Saying one thing and doing another
• Inexplicable self-satisfaction
• Patting Michael Portillo on the knee
• Obesity

For too long, politics has been dominated by a privileged elite. Diane Abbot represents people like you—normal, everyday wealthy Cambridge graduates who send their children to public school and who have never had a proper job.

If you’re one of the 50% of Britons who don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, Abbott will make your voice heard.

If you’re one of the 19% of population who indulge in rank hypocrisy, Abbott knows how you feel.

If you’re one of the 8% of the population who conduct conversations with your eyes closed, as if talking to a six-year old, you must vote Abbott for Labour leader.

Do read on…

AJ

Has Ellie Caught Gordon’s Deathly Touch?

Gordon Brown’s Jonah syndrome is well documented. It’s as if anything and anyone he endorses is doomed.

It’s not yet clear by what means his curse is transmissible, but proximity seems key:

What makes me think this? First, Ellie launched Gordon Brown’s General Election campaign. I think we all know how that turned out.

 

Well, last week, Ed Balls seemed a shoe in to at least get enough nominations to run for Labour leader, and enough Unite muscle to win.

Enter Ellie.

Exit Ed.

Ed Balls is struggling to gain enough support to challenge for the Labour leadership, it was claimed last night.

A well-placed Labour source said Mr Balls was having difficulty in winning the backing of the 33 MPs needed to secure his nomination.

The former schools secretary, who launched his campaign this week, has only 20 declared supporters among Labour’s 258 MPs.

This disappoints me. I wonder how Diane Abbott is doing.

AJ

Singalong-a-Balls

Don’t know why I didn’t see it earlier.

 

This is not the end of this, Ed Balls. Oh no.

AJ

ROLF

Teh words. I has none.

Henchman and campaign manager Trap-Jaw said: "Skeletor is a strong, decisive leader and unlike Balls and the Milibands he doesn’t look like a vaguely confused hotel concierge."

I’m still backing Balls.

AJ

An uncomfortable alliance

As you may recall, I’m backing Balls.

I suppose, therefore, it was inevitable I’d end up on the same side as some pretty unsavoury characters.

And who more so than this one?

This is classic Comical Ellie. A toxic mix of denial, delusion, diarrhoea and denseness. A hilarious paragon of the genre, no less.

I’ll hand over to @Toadmeister to point out the fundamentally flawed premise in the champagne socialist’s exposition.

Allow me to correct this misapprehension [that the ‘right wing media’ fear Balls’ ‘hunger, drive and fire in the belly’ to lead Labour back into Downing Street]. The truth is that most rightwing commentators would dearly love to see Ed Balls as the next Labour leader. Not only does he come across badly on television – a Stalinist thug trying, unsuccessfully, to seem human – but he’s fatally tainted by his close association with Gordon Brown. He would be a terrible electoral liability, worse even than the insufferably smug Diane Abbott. Next to him, Michael Foot seems positively Churchillian.

Indeed. So let’s all get behind Ellie and support Ed Balls for leadership of the Labour party.

Go Ed!

AJ

I’m backing Balls

Good news people.

If you want to help ensure that Labour are mangled beyond all recognition, do this:

You may be asking, “WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THAT?”

Quite rightly, too.

The reason to do it is that you’ll get a vote in the forthcoming Labour leadership election. For the princely sum of a quid. One pound.

Who to vote for? Well, I for one, am backing Ed Balls.

Once Balls is duly installed, tear up your membership card and walk away. Job done.

AJ

Via Old Holborn – Obo’s also on the case.

How to spin the GDP figures, Gordo style.

The first set of figures released for Q4 2009 showed GDP growth of just 0.1%. This figure was later revised upwards by the ONS to 0.3%, then 0.4%.

So, you see, the final figure, when all said and done, was 4 times the initial figure.

And so to Q1 2010.

In the face of today’s news that Q1 growth was a very shaky 0.2%, Gordo should confidently announce that Q1 growth was actually 0.8%. Four times the initial figure.

Expect Ed Balls to test drive this idea on Radio 4 news sometime today.

AJ

Setting the scene for a Labour Poll Lead

I think we all know how Labour’s media machine works – expectation management.

Last week, Simon Heffer came up with and idea, to which I made reference yesterday.

There is one money-saving move Mr Darling could take in the Budget that would cut the Tory party off at the knees: and that would be to announce that he will not after all levy taxes at 50 per cent on the so-called rich. He would have perfectly sound fiscal reasons for doing this, aside from the political devastation this would cause to the credibility of a Tory party that cannot dare to promise such a thing.

So, here, to set the snare, is bogeyman Ed:

Cabinet sources say the Schools Secretary and his wife, Work and Pensions Secretary Yvette Cooper, want the threshold for the new 50p top rate of tax to be reduced from £150,000 to £100,000.

Cabinet sources? Uh huh?

And Badgerchops isn’t quite as unequivocal today as Lyam Byrne was on the Daily Politics last week.

And consequent to that, and the on-going double-dip worries,

Sterling fell by nearly two cents this morning after a member of the Bank of England’s Monetary Policy Committee, warned that the British economy could shrink again.

So maybe Darling is playing a dangerous game with the markets. but if he ditches the 50p rate (because it’ll cost money), repeats the bankers’ bonus tax in 2010 and spends that on a sop to the povs, Labour could be ahead in the polls by the time Gordo goes to see the Queen.

And my 10-1 will start to look like a lovely little bet.

Dammit, Beavis.

AJ

Yay! Go Go Gadget Paedobase

People voted for this.

The investigation by The Daily Telegraph has led to renewed criticism of the delayed £224 million computer system, which is meant to protect young people by creating a single register of their contact details.

…

In November the Government declared that a pilot phase involving 20 councils and charities had been a success, and that the project will be taken up nationally.

Hey – it must all have tested fine then.. you know.. processes, security, backup & recovery etc.

But there have been at least three security breaches so far, in London, Staffordshire, Peterborough and Surrey, according to details obtained under the Freedom of Information Act.

One “serious” breach involved two staff at Westminster City Council, where many politicians and public figures live, losing details of children that had been originally stored in an envelope.

Oh dear, what a shame.

An official report admitted February’s incident had been a “serious breach of the duty to maintain confidential data securely”.

“Officers involved have taken all possible steps to locate the data and clearly understand the seriousness of this incident,” the report said.

Peterborough Council refused to release, under FOI laws, details of its report into its “minor” security breach, claiming it did not think releasing information was in “the public interest”.

“The incident in question was a minor disciplinary incident that was dealt with swiftly,” a spokesman said.

Not in the public interest? You cunts. Surely it’s in the interest of EVERYONE who’s children are being entered into this massive paedobase.

Oh and it’s happened previously in the project:

Two of the councils that acted as “trailblazers” for the information-sharing project in 2005 were forced to investigate after staff breached guidelines on data use.

East Sussex County Council said: “There was one incidence of inappropriate behaviour in the early stages of the project, with one practitioner sharing access information with a colleague who had not yet received access information.

“Both accounts were suspended until the issue was dealt with through the [council’s] usual disciplinary procedures.”

Sheffield City Council said: “There have only been two incidents that have required formal investigation – both were identified by the internal auditing built into the system.

“The two incidents referred to above were considered to be ‘inappropriate use’ of the system by authorised users as per our user guidelines.”

Tim Loughton, the shadow Children’s Minister, said: “These incidents are just the tip of the iceberg.

Indeed they are Tim – so what are you going to do about it? Fuck all I’ll wager, once you bet your hands on the levers realise just how useful all this data is to you and your Westminster cuntplugs.

“These shocking security breaches reveal just how unsafe this database is,” said Annette Brooke, the Liberal Democrat’s Children’s spokeswoman.

“The initial pilots of ContactPoint raised serious security concerns, but the Government insisted on ploughing ahead with it.

Which is uncharacteristic of them… lol.

A Department for Children, Schools and Families spokeswoman said

Ah.. say no more – now we know who’s at the vanguard of this plainly fucking stupid idea: Fuck all the way off, Ed Balls.

AJ

The 24 hour turnaround

Sunday:

Monday:

and from Team Fondlebum:

 

How? By making it acceptable to have illiterate surgeons, innumerate accountants, txtspking newsreaders?

Fucking morons. You’ve ruined the education system, making it more difficult for people from poor backgrounds to do well. And now you want to remedy that by… Oh I fucking give up.

AJ

Suicide watch…

Eamonn Butler is the head of the Adam Smith Institute – a free-market think-tank.

But I’d not be surprised to hear that the Dignitas marketing folk were keen to retain his services.

I say this because, ever since I started reading this:

I’ve been increasingly curious about their services.

It’s an unceasing catalogue of the things that Gordon Brown and his coterie of bastards has done to our country.

Oh sure, there’s not much in there that you couldn’t find on most libertarian blogs, but the sheer scale of their destruction wrought upon the fabric of our economy, society, liberty, privacy, justice system and democratic protections is breath-taking.

I may, in fact, never finish this book, because I decide that I want to live. On the other hand, I may neck a fistful of vallium and get it over with. The book, I mean.

AJ

Ed Balls to become Chancellor???

Gordon Brown wants Ed Balls as chancellor

GORDON BROWN is ready to promote Ed Balls, his closest political ally, to chancellor this week in a high-stakes gamble to restore Labour’s political fortunes.

According to a top-level leak from Downing Street, the prime minister wants to make the appointment the centrepiece of a sweeping reshuffle on Friday, after the local and European polls.

With Balls, the schools secretary, one of the most divisive figures in government, the move would be a huge risk, which could trigger a ferocious backlash within the Labour party that could spiral into a leadership challenge.

Excellent…

AJ