There’s no shortage of it just now.

People donating money to the NHS? You’ve already paid thousands of pounds of your taxes into the thing you fucking morons, and if you go giving them free money, they’ve even less incentive to make every pound count. And what will they do with your money? Build more Doris Lampshade hospitals that remain completely unoccupied, with millions of pounds of equipment sitting idle?

A sim racer of some renown is using his platform to raise money too. Sadly it’s being raised for the Sino-African World Health Organisation, and the deeply political (by which I mean leftist propagandists) Trussell Trust. I’ve always chucked in £20 when he’s raised money for Mind or McMillan or that sort of thing. The WHO already has its thieving hand in my pocket, and the only thing I ever donate to the Trussell Trust is what I put in the foodbank donations bin at the supermarket exit. I always give a tin of artichoke hearts, a stick of marzipan and a tub of candied peel.

Not to be outdone by the hoi polloi, the academics are showing their worth, by writing a paper that suggests we should tap in our PIN using a knuckle rather than a fingertip, and walk round parks in a clockwise direction only. They think we should keep our cats indoors as well. Good luck with that. Cats aren’t wired that way – I actually think keeping an indoor cat amounts to animal cruelty – and most people will find it very difficult, especially in summer, to enforce with their animals. But if I have to have their microchips removed to foil the neighbourhood snitch, so be it. I await the stories of vigilantes doing terrible things to any cats that wander into their environs.

If that paper does show one thing, it’s that a great many of the predictions made by the Cynical Libertarian Society are set to become a reality.

Social distancing must remain in place until a coronavirus vaccine has been found, a key government adviser has warned.

In pursuit of happy thoughts, people seem to be overlooking the very real chance that we’ll never have a vaccine, and even if we do, that the virus could have mutated beyond reach of it.

There are a couple he and I both alighted on, such as the pending de-facto, soon to be de-jure, abolition of cash.

And in other retardation, could any so-titled post be complete without a word from the shallowest gene-pool in Christendom?

Screen Shot 2020-04-16 at 13.47.32

You’ll be unsurprised to learn that the Telegraph do not have comments enabled under that piece. Keep digging, Harry. I’m sure you’ll never end up being divorce-raped and begging to come back to Britain, so needn’t worry about the entire country thinking you’re a total Scunthorpe.


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