Some May pun, but I wouldn’t

So the time has finally come. May is going. Meh.

There’s nothing to profit from enumerating the ways in which May sucked the sweat off a drag queen’s ballsack. The newspapers and magazines of left and right are queuing up to hyperbolise about how much she was the worst ever prime minister.

I wonder if a dispassionate enquiry would indeed find her to be worse than Chamberlain who appeased Hitler, Eden who made a dogs arse of the Suez crisis, Heath who presided over our entry into the EEC in 1973, Major who signed the Maastricht treaty, creating the EU, and heralded the onset of 13 years of Labour government, or Cameron, who bequeathed the nation its current predicament.

The thing about Theresa May is that she has achieved nothing, and that’s no bad thing. For 3 years, the de facto leader of the UK establishment spent no time on the front foot, pushing an agenda, launching bold programmes of social change, managing the message, declaring wars, iconoclastically upending the foundation stones of our social, political, judicial, economic and religious edifices.

After all the damage that was done by Major, Blair, Brown and Cameron, this was a welcome break. An interregnum is what it has been.

So what happens now? I’ve already expressed my preferences as to future Conservative leaders. What I expect to happen is the coronation of Boris Johnson.

As to what happens then, well as much as I’m loathed to agree with him, I have to concede that on this occasion Matthew Parris has the most plausible hypothesis I’ve seen so far. (pastebin)

A new British prime minister, having visited the Queen to check in, and having during the course of leadership elections vowed to get a better deal from Brussels on pain of leaving without a deal, will have to hotfoot it to Brussels — and will have to return more or less empty-handed.

Such a PM will then be under enormous pressure to try to get the United Kingdom out of the EU with no deal or (more likely) a ‘managed’ no deal. At this point, both Houses of Parliament will awake from their fitful slumber and stop this happening.

The bind our PM will be in is as simple as it will be cruel. He or she will have promised the electorate something that she or he is quite unable to deliver. 

Whatever you want to say about May, all she ever tried to do was get a deal through parliament that delivered however weak and meaningless a Brexit she could get. That she lacked the hubris, machiavellianism and bald-faced sociopathy required to deliver a suitably polished turd and consign us to BRINO purgatory is something I find myself unable to hold against her.

To imagine that anyone could have gotten a meaningfully better deal from the EU is laughable. They are a resolute enemy, steadfast in their position, as unanimous as the Borg.  All this is despite the inevitable internal tensions in the bloc: the fractious states like Hungary and Italy are more than counterbalanced by the bought & paid-for puppet states like Ireland and the brutalized marionette that is Greece.

And so here we are. As far as leaving the EU goes, it’s checkmate. Our king is dead. Parris is right. The remainers are going to get what they wanted.

Quite whether they bargain for the shitstorm that will follow the betrayal remains to be seen. The story of the Brexit party and the votes they get at the expense of Labour and Tories will just be the start of this chapter.

The EU didn’t demur when Macron demanded that this is all done by the end of October, one way or the other.

There is no happy outcome. Times are about to get interesting and people are about to get mad as hell.

AJ

2 thoughts on “Some May pun, but I wouldn’t

  1. The negotiating strategy all along should have been “Nice European Union you have there, shame if anything were to happen to it”.

    The EU has to been seen as a hostile force and treated as such, or at least the impression given that it could be treated as such. Why when there were those riots over a referendum in Spain did we not offer tacit support to the separatists, why haven’t diplomats been seen with representatives of the various independence movements over the EU.

    From a UK foreign policy perspective the EU is a threat that needs to be removed, any negotiation has to have an ultimate aim that in 10, 20 or 30 years the EU will not be there.

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