Fools Russian, where angels fear to tread…

It would take a heart of stone…


Reports say she had dropped her mobile phone into a vat of sweet mix and was trying to retrieve it, but fell in and was unable to escape.





Dick of the day

The competition is hot for the top spot in the list of people who need smashing in the face with a claw-hammer, but today’s outright winners are the shiny, twatty people who use the expression “not-spot” to refer to mobile signal blackspots.

Fuck off and get bummed by a syphilitic gorilla.


Consequences of Brexit come home to roost…

In a shrewder move than anyone saw coming, the Remainers have alighted upon a killer strategy to turn things around.

Frustrated with the vagaries of legal action and political lobbying, a consortium of pro-EU activists have teamed up with venture capitalists to attempt the ultimate feat of activist investing.

It began when new data analysis techniques stumbled up on a remarkable correlation between people who voted for Brexit and people who eat vast quantities of food from Greggs, almost to the exclusion of any other source of nutrition.


The logical next move is so obvious once this correlation is visible.

  • Buy Greggs
  • Threaten to move Greggs to Belgium in the event of the UK leaving the EU
  • Wait for proles to demand second vote
  • Win


    Because the hoi polloi will have no problem eating their words, so long as those words are wrapped in a greasy, flaky pastry.

Well well well…

What’s that Skippy? The National Living Wage is having exactly the negative consequences I foresaw 18 month ago? Oh no!


Oh? And what would that have to do with the living wage?

Conservative councillor Izzi Seccombe, of the Local Government Association, said that increasing the precept "would not plug" any funding gap.

She said the £383m raised from a previous 2% precept was eclipsed by larger costs, such as the £600m cost of the national living wage increase.


The chief executive of Care England, which represents care home providers, has warned that rising demand, cuts to public spending and costs associated with the national living wage have turned the system into a “house of cards”. Martin Green said: “The whole thing could topple over at any moment and those who are poor and vulnerable will suffer most.”

As I said

Taxes will rise or services will be cut.


It ought to be self-evident (though sometimes I don’t think it is to some people) that if a person is employed in the public sector, or works for a company whose services are bought by the public sector, that all of the cost of employing those people is paid for out of taxation. There is, after all, no other source of income for public sector organisations.

If wages are pushed up – by the living wage or otherwise – then the cost of those wages is ultimately born by the tax-payer in council taxes, income tax etc. Thus again, those costs are borne by the person on the inflated living wage, again with the associated inefficiency of transfer costs.


What if the living wage were set at £15/hour? What about £20/hour? £30/hour? Well, by now that ought to be obvious: With each increase relative to inflation, more people will be rendered unemployable and stuck in the poverty trap, more goods & services will be more expensive, more people will resort to a cash economy, and more tax rises & public sector cuts will be necessary,

Simple, innit?






I love driving and I’m willing to bet that if I was stuck behind her in her (I guess) Peugeot 208, I’d will her to get the fuck off the road.


Discredit to the nation…

Much hoohar about those who voted against last night’s motion in Westminster to invoke Article 50 by end of March 2017.

The motion passed resoundingly.

The telegraph, predictably enough, declared the 89 MPs who voted against to be contemptuous of the voters.


I’m afraid I have to somewhat disagree with this “analysis”. If we look at the list, 3 were from Northern Ireland’s SDLP, and 51 were from the Scottish National Party.

But look at the votes cast nationally in the referendum. Whether the English like this or not, the fact of the matter is that the Scots voted against Brexit 62:38 and the Northern Irish opposed it 56:44. Both of these margins are significantly more decisive than the English vote of 53:47 in favour, the Welsh 52:48, and the overall vote of 52:48.

So while you could convincingly argue that the English and Welsh MPs who voted against last night’s motion do indeed deserve a kicking, you simply cannot rationally say the same about the opposers representing the people of Scotland and Northern Ireland who did, in fact reflect their respective countries’ preferences properly.

I mean, there are enough horseshit generalisations from the Remainers, but they lost and are bitter. Must we who favour Brexit be bad winners and paint dissenters with unreasonably broad strokes?


Diversity causes division, declares Sherlock…

I’ve very mixed feelings about Pantomime Dame Louise Casey.


On the one hand she has, by all relative measures, balls of steel for what she’s written in her report about social cohesion – or lack thereof – and she’s done a top job of couching it in terms of modern feminism, giving her something of a cloak of invincibility in doing so.

On the other hand, she fails spectacularly. You see there’s a massive asymmetry about the ability of the government to make changes to society, and she doesn’t seem to grasp that.

While it’s very easy for the state to influence society negatively – intentionally or otherwise – it  is nigh on impossible, as 50 years of social tinkering has demonstrated, for the state to influence or impose positive change in the face of thousands of years of human nature. It just cannot happen. Entropy always increases, quickly when the government is busy, slowly when it is inert..

“Aha!”, you might say, “what about the smoking ban? That was a positive change to society made by the government.”

Well, maybe it was for you. The way I see it, this clumsy and spiteful legislation reduced choice and, where society had previously arrived at its own compromises, fostered division, nurtured mutual animosity and, in an age where the state pension burden is already unbearable, the NHS is under crippling strain and private pensions are in a state of collapse, no-one is going to be able to afford (or bear) to live to the ripe old age such ham-fisted legislation was supposed to encourage.

“Umm.. okay.. the hunting ban?” – Nope. Spiteful ham-fisted legislation that drove a permanent wedge between urban and rural communities on the basis of urban bigotry, spite and misinformation.

“Gay marriage?” – Okay, I’ll give you that one… now gay people are legally allowed to be as stupid as to straights, and get into a contract to be miserable for a big chunk of their prime years and unexpectedly forfeit half their stuff in 5-10 years time.

“The Equality act?” – oh now you’re just taking the fucking piss.

Basically, the only answer is for government to get out of the way, wind its neck in and let society arrive at its own conclusions, which are usually equitable, however ugly the journey might be.

And if Louise Casey realises this and puts it in her next report, I promise I won’t open my commentary with a joke about how Eddie Izzard’s let himself go.



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