People who got suspended prison sentences:

Michelle Coleman, aged 62, from Brentwood, Essex pleaded guilty to three counts of money laundering. The total laundered sum was £252,425 of which £158,000 was retained by Ms Coleman personally.

Following her plea, the defendant was sentenced to 21 months imprisonment, to be suspended for two years.

The deputy manager of a doctors’ surgery who faked prescriptions to get painkillers for herself has been given a suspended prison sentence.

Woodhead, 48, of Meadow View, East Coker, was given an eight-week sentence suspended for two years.

Judge Michael Parroy told her she indulged in a course of action over a period of time which had "serious consequences" for the practice, her colleagues and herself.

She was also given a two-year probation order and ordered to pay back the £190 cost of the 3,816 tablets.

A public relations adviser has been handed a suspended jail term of 15 months after being found guilty of a £93,000 tax fraud.

Richard Hillgrove, 42, of Somerton, Somerset, had denied cheating the public revenue over a 12-month period.

Andre Campbell, 23, was found guilty of a charge of handling stolen goods after exchanging [the victim’s] iPhone for £100.

Campbell received a 12-month sentence, which was suspended for two years, and a 12-month supervision order.

A Wrexham man who admitted having more than 250,000 indecent images of children on his computer has been given a suspended sentence.

A judge at Mold Crown Court said there were exceptional mitigating circumstances in the case of Dennis Igo, 53, from Little Green, Bronington.

Two people have been given suspended prison sentences for prostitution offences in Ipswich.

Stuart Mansfield, 36, from Nelson Road, Ipswich, and Carla Panton, 29, from Halesworth admitted a charge of controlled prostitution for gain.

Mansfield was given a 12-month prison sentence, suspended for two years, at Ipswich Crown Court.

Panton was given a six-month prison sentence, which was also suspended for two years.

A hammer-wielding woman who fought with another mother outside a primary school has been given an eight-week suspended jail sentence.

Police used pepper spray on Nia Wynne, 28, of Llandudno Junction, Conwy, in the incident outside Ysgol Tudno in Llandudno, town magistrates heard.

A man who took a sword with him when he went to visit a friend at a psychiatric unit has been given a one-year suspended prison sentence.

David Elliott, 44, of Geneva Close, Exeter, admitted having the 37in weapon in a public place.

His sentence was suspended for two years and he was also ordered to undergo drug rehabilitation.

A wife who killed her husband in a botched suicide pact has been given an 18-month suspended prison sentence.

Ann Pollen, 47, from Edmonton, north London, was sentenced at the Old Bailey after admitting manslaughter.

A carer who stole a gold bracelet from a 100-year-old has been given a suspended jail sentence.

Elaine Wood, 55, of Manica Crescent, Fazakerley, was given a three-month term suspended for nine months at Sefton Magistrates’ Court.

A former prison officer has been given a suspended sentence after a prisoner whom he was supposed to be monitoring on suicide watch took his own life.

Daniel Barclay, a former night custody officer at Maghaberry Prison, was sentenced to 15 months, suspended for three years.

Five people who gave false information to police in the wake of the murder of Comber man Phillip Strickland have been given suspended sentences.

The 37-year-old farm labourer died after being shot in the face in January 2012.

Four of the accused were charged with perverting the course of justice, the fifth, was charged with withholding information.

Sentencing all five to 18 months in prison, which was suspended for two years, Mr Justice Weir told them: "I don’t think that any of you can feel proud of what you have done in this case.

A woman who admitted drunkenly driving the wrong way on a motorway for four miles has been spared jail.

Katy Homer of Clent View Road, Halesowen, in the West Midlands, was stopped by police near junction one of the M5 at West Bromwich.

Cameras showed her driving into the path of lorries on the southbound carriageway on 4 December.

Care assistant Homer was given a four-month jail term, suspended for 12 months, at Wolverhampton Crown Court.


People who got immediate prison sentences:

A Facebook troll who posted that a 15-year-old boy accused of murdering school teacher Ann Maguire should have "p****d on her too" has been jailed for six weeks.

Jake Newsome, 21, made the vile online comments three days after Mrs Maguire was stabbed at Corpus Christi college in Leeds on April 28.

District Judge David Kitson said: "You sent an offensive communication by an electronic device that followed the tragic death of Mrs Maguire who was killed some days previously.

"You’re entitled to express reasonable views, as are all of us.

"What none of us are entitled to do is abuse that freedom.

"What I find particularly offensive – that must have caused distress to all those who knew Mrs Maguire – were the derogatory remarks made saying that you were glad she had been killed and that he should have, and I quote, ‘p****d on her too’.

"I can think of little more that can be upsetting or offensive."

What, not even if someone said that you, District Judge David Kitson, are a disgrace to humanity? That you think it is right to jail someone who has not threatened anyone, harassed anyone, injured anyone, incited anything, damaged anything or stolen anything, but has been subjectively ‘offensive’? That’s offensive.

I wasn’t offended – I just thought he was a cunt. And that’s as far as it goes.

Shame on you, you disgusting, rotten, inadequate, totalitarian little man.


UPDATE: Peter Nunn jailed for RETWEETING ‘offensive’ tweets.


Jake me off…

It’s been an hysterical evening of twitter loony-tunes. It all started off innocuously enough…

My friend @Oleuanna was taking flack from feminists. She is a smart and tough cookie. She’s seen it, done it and – uncommonly – has learned from it, in.. errr.. spades.

In despair, she tweeted the online equivalent of a fly swat.


Now, I hadn’t been following her interactions with her feminist assailants, so didn’t know who had been involved. Nevertheless, I thought she may be tickled my a humourous response..


I thought it mildly amusing, and so did she.


I moved on… then the twitter ground started to grizzle beneath my feet.

But before I knew it, someone to whom the tweet wasn’t directed – and therefore wouldn’t see unless they clicked around to seek out offence – piped up.


The conversation continued for a short while before debilitating belly laughs ruined everything.


Oh yes.. She reported me to Twitter for violent harassment.

Feel free, by the way, to look back through any of our timelines to see where that might have happened.

But our question was answered.


So I posted an image of a chainsaw, as a joke. To @Oleuanna. Not to anyone else, not to a hashtag. And I don’t think this woman  follows me, so how did she see it?

Anyway, we continued to make light of things. Because we’re of this world. We’ve seen and experienced it over the years.

I also pointed out that I’ve experienced DV, but only from the receiving side.  True story. Frankly, I was betting that if my new stalker saw that, she’d try to use it to score a point over me.. about being weak or using it as an excuse.

Meantime, because this is twitter, I went back to taking the piss for my own amusement.

What would Johnny Cash do?


Since this woman had taken to stalking timelines, I took a quick look at what she was saying now on this public timeline.



Strike 1: I called it right on her twisting my mention of experiencing DV.

Strike 2: The photo I ‘dug up’ is (at time of writing) on the front  page of her blog, which is linked from her twitter bio.

Strike 3: Only one person called her a cunt – or any variation of it – and it wasn’t me. As far as I’m aware, in respect of the thread I was involved with, the only person who used that term was @ObtuseMusings, and that’s his business, the indomitable cunt.

So this had gotten boring. But I had an idea. After all, I do have a bit of the cupid about me.


My work today is done, friends.


%d bloggers like this: