This is just getting fucking tiresome now.

Sort this out, Eric Pickles you Happy Shopper Peter Griffin-lookalike.

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It had been thought plans for workplace parking levies would be abandoned after ministers declared an end to the "war on motorists" within days of the Coalition’s formation.

Yeah – I think we already realised Philip Hammond was taking the piss out of us.

Initially, the parking levy was seen as a way to tackle congestion and cut carbon emissions. Now, there is growing evidence it is also being seen as a source of extra cash. Nottingham City Council will be the first council to impose a £250 levy on local employers, from 2012. Within two years, the bill will rise to £350 and will target all companies with 11 or more parking spaces.

Ah – the old cutting congestion and emissions gag. It won’t do either, and we all know why. People who drive to work do so because there is no viable alternative. They have no public transport alternative that would save them time or money, both of which are at a premium.

So I suppose that we should be grateful that some of them have decided to stop hiding behind that tired old eco bullshit.

Bristol City Council, for example, in its draft strategy, describes the levy as a "revenue stream" to help fund other transport initiatives.

Hampshire council are really taking the piss with their cover story though. I’m pretty sure Hampshire is true blue Tory, but nevertheless…

Hampshire County Council, meanwhile, is considering a "modest" – but unspecified – charge for the south of the region, including Southampton and Portsmouth, to, says a consultation document, "redress the imbalance between free commuter parking for some staff at office complexes" and "parking for other staff in public spaces where payment is required".

What they patently refuse to acknowledge is that for a lot of people who use their cars, there simply is no public transport alternative and there never will be for anyone who lives and works outside of a major city. No amount of buses, trams, trains, bicycles or carpooling is ever going to make any difference whatsoever to commuters in most of Britain. We are a cash-cow.

"Based on Nottingham it would probably work out at about £1 a day. Whether companies would pass the cost on to their staff may vary," she said. "This may not change behaviour but could raise money for public transport."

My company has around 2000 parking spaces in the UK. There is no practicable way to pass charges onto individuals on a pro-rata basis per their car-park usage.

So the company swallows the cost and claws it back by further reducing pay rises, which have already fallen significantly behind inflation over the last 3 years.

Experts on local government believe that authorities may have little alternative but to turn to drivers as a source of income. “Councils are going to look at that kind of a thing as an option,” said Caroline Green, a policy consultant with the Local Government Association. “Traditional forms of money raising will not be sufficient.”

Well I’ve got a better idea, which will avoid this whole problem at a stroke.

It’s one that I’ve personally had to get to grips with this year, as has everyone else in the private sector. If you work in the public sector, this is gonna blow your tiny mind.

Cut costs. Spend less. Waste less. It’s really quite simple, you fucking leeches.

AJ

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About Al Jahom
Anti-social malcontent, misanthrope and miserable git.

8 Responses to This is just getting fucking tiresome now.

  1. PT Barnum says:

    Lovely, ain’t it? The Nottingham scheme was supposed to be a quid pro quo for the second tram line with a park-and-ride scheme being built. That’s been mothballed. But the parking charges haven’t.

  2. PJH says:

    Bristol City Council, for example, in its draft strategy[…]

    What’s that “r” doing in the word before strategy.

  3. Ethan says:

    Well that should really help struggling small business…..relocate to less loony areas!

  4. Tom says:

    Do you think for a single cotton-pickin millisecond that if this bit of bureaucratic banditry is rolled out that it’ll apply to council car parking – yeah – thought so.

  5. RantinRab says:

    I don’t give a fuck how good or plentiful public transport is. I won’t use it unless I have no choice.

    I drive to work because I don’t want to be stuck with a bunch of shaved apes on a bus twice a day.

  6. Fidel Cuntstruck says:

    At least Bristol are being honest about it?

    I personally am getting to the stage where the next time a local government desk jockey bleats at me about Carbon Footprints will cause me to kick them until their ears bleed.

  7. SadButMadLad says:

    It won’t work as it’s piss easy to avoid. One way would be to have lots of small carparks (<11 each), each close to the others but still seperate. If employees are charged personally, they will naturally not use car parks but neighbouring streets. If it becomes to excessive companies will just move out of the county.

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