Keep drugs illegal

So sayeth this wag:

Keep drugs illegal, don’t regulate them

by duncanstott on July 01, 2010 at 05:44PM

Speaking as a criminal drug dealer who makes millions from the insatiable desire for my produce, it would be a personal disaster if I were to lose my ability to operate in the illegal drug market.

That’s why I support the government’s current stance on drugs. Ending prohibition and applying mountains of red tape around the supply drugs would put dealers like me out of business.

Why the contribution is important

I operate in an illegal drugs market worth £5bn in the UK. It is the perfect business: no tax, no bereaucracy, and a customer base that can’t get enough of my products. The drugs market is also tied up in many other valuable trades like prostitution and people trafficking, and where would the UK be without them?

Ending prohibition would ruin all this.

First of all, so-called "legal companies" would take virtually all of my customers. I might even have to consider operating legally myself, and start paying tax. This would obviously hurt my profit margins.

At the moment I can sell drugs to whoever I like, but if drugs weren’t prohibited, no doubt the government would start applying age restrictions, and restrict my customer base. Mr Clegg, you must keep drugs illegal so I can keep selling drugs to teenagers. Just look at how the government has hurt sales with its tobacco regulation. The health warnings on the packaging are causing less and less young people to take up smoking. Don’t let the cocaine market go the same way!

At the moment I maximise profits by cutting drugs with bulking agents. There’s no quality control, but there doesn’t need to be. Under a legal framework, the government would apply a load of red tape to make sure drugs were of a standard purity and quality. Again, this would severely hit my profits.

If the government cares one bit about drug barons like me, they’ll leave our drug laws well alone. Things are fine as they are.



UPDATE: This has now apparently been pulled from the HMG site by moderators.

Its originator is on Twitter, though, as @DuncanStott


8 thoughts on “Keep drugs illegal


    You are a wicked, evil monster. We are going to put you out of business!

    The coalition government has promised to repeal “illiberal, intrusive and unnecessary” laws. There can be no better example of this than the laws against personal use and cultivation of cannabis, particularly for medicinal reasons.

    Prohibition is a failed, discredited policy. Drug laws have caused hugely more harm in our world than drugs themselves. Most organised crime and nearly all street crime is caused by drug laws. Our soldiers are dying in Afghanistan fighting an enemy financed by the illegal drugs trade. Why don’t we just buy the whole damn crop for the next 10 years and put the Taliban out of business?

    Legalise, regulate, tax. You pull the drug from underneath organised crime. You remove the reason for.street crime. You save billions in law enforcement costs. You make billions in new tax revenue.

  2. Forget drugs. If half the population want to kill themselves I say let them do it.
    Bah humbug!

    Prostituion. I say legalise it, tax it, and ‘hump your way out of recession!

  3. “UPDATE: This has now apparently been pulled from the HMG site by moderators.”

    Not interested in hearing from a stakeholder then?

    I thought it was a great comment, especially:
    “That’s why I support the government’s current stance on drugs.”

    Bet that made some people squirm.

  4. Spoof or not, he’s going to get a visit from plod.

    Probably at Oh-my-g_d-it’s-early o’clock when his front door will spontaneously depart from it’s frame.

  5. The curious thing is, of course, that the author is absolutely right. The day drugs (it happened over years with heroin illegal in 1956) became illegal, they were taken from the pharmaceutical industry, the most highly regulated industry on the planet, and given to organised crime, which is self regulated by large, ultra violent men with guns. So big fail. When heroin was declared illegal there were a few hundred addicts, mostly doctors. Look at it now. 100 years ago you could visit a pharmacy and buy your opium, heroin, morphine et al. You could buy a gun if you could prove you were a householder and someone would vouch for your character. Now these are illegal too. Of course they are in the hands of criminals who know you haven’t got one. So………..another mighty fail by stupid government.

    The government should give up this stupid lost war on drugs. Hand them back to the phramaceutical sector, have them sold OTC in pharmacies at a simuilar price to fags, taxed etc. You destroy the illicit drug trade, you destroy the petty robbery and mugging markets and you severely curb prostitution and thus women trafficking. This is a mega win situation. Not that many people are going to become useless addicts. Because there weren’t many when they were legal originally.

    Mind you if you even try to say that these drugs will not kill you and can be taken safely, which they can be as many are used medicinally, such as heroin and morphine, you get no public exposure and banned from the MSM. Pathetic isn’t it?

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