False advertising

Seen via Ambush Predator.


Firstly, you can relax, it’s happening in the Netherlands, not here.

Dutch jobseekers are being given a new hairstyle and outfit and tips from a lifecoach on how to attract a new partner.

Under the scheme, the women will be given instructions on how to present themselves socially and offered a place on an exclusive matchmaking website called Mens & Relatie (People and Relationships).

They will have professional photographs of their new image to boost their dating profile.

There’s so much wrong with this, it’s difficult to know where to start. So I’ll begin by saluting Dutch candour regarding motives:

They estimate that if 70 women find a solvent husband, the council can save £330,000 on welfare payments.

Well at least the cost/benefit analysis stacks up then!

So let’s consider the ethics of this, from a pragmatic point of view, and speaking as someone furtively aware of the gotchas of online dating.

In order for this ‘makeover’ to be of any benefit, it has to make a significant difference to the appearance of the beneficiary. It’s not going to make any difference to a stunner, is it?

And shall we dismiss the red herring beloved of London’s women that one can’t be comely without spending thousands of pounds on cosmetics, dresses and shoes? I’m lucky enough to be friends with one or two women who are completely and institutionally skint, yet still manage to take good care of themselves and scrub up very nicely indeed.

And even if the makeover, coaching and clobber do make a significant difference, how long can we expect it to last? It’s hardly a Henry Higgins job, is it?

In other words, once the beneficiary of this investment realises that keeping it up is hard work, we can expect a regression to mean. Should this be before a spouse is landed, the investment has failed to yield a return. The alternative is that the suitor is sold a pup that’s soon to become a big slobbering smelly Labrador. No sympathy, though, for the mug who bought.

The biggest problem, though, is that it embraces and institutionalises the idea that it’s not just acceptable but mandatory to falsely represent oneself in online dating.

It’s already an endemic problem, and it’s deeply counterproductive. We all know about the Facebook photo that hides a multitude of chins, so we expect that one. But how about the rest of the blurb?

I know I’m out on a limb here, but what about some candour? I’ve never seen a dating ad that said, “I’m a sarcastic misanthrope. I smoke, I drink too much and I survive on junk food. I’ve never been inside a gym in my life.”

I’d know if I had, because I’d have found my soul mate.

I mean, honestly, who wants to turn up to an internet date only to find one’s suitor is shorter, fatter, balder, poorer, thicker or more Scottish than you were lead to believe? It only leads to awkwardness, excuses and embarrassment.

So in this sense, the Dutch scheme is extremely ill-conceived. And I’ve (studiously) not even touched on any of the wimmins’ ishoos surrounding the concept.

However, and this is a big however: I approve of the experiment, because it could be the start of something I never thought could be done – the privatisation of the welfare state.



About Al Jahom
Anti-social malcontent, misanthrope and miserable git.

5 Responses to False advertising

  1. Bucko says:

    I’ve never seen a dating ad that said, “I’m a sarcastic misanthrope. I smoke, I drink too much and I survive on junk food. I’ve never been inside a gym in my life.”

    You have to read between the lines:
    Cuddly = fat
    Buubly = wont shut up
    Fifty something = 59
    Voluptuous = very fat
    Sociable = alcoholic
    Outgoing = Loud
    Ramantic = Your’e not getting any
    Professional = Feminist bitch
    Adventurous = shags owt

  2. alf stone says:

    Don’t kid yourself it’s not happening here in one form or another. This is an extract from an email I sent to a friend last year:

    I was walking along Coatsworth Road today and there were two youths walking towards me. One in the usual chav uniform and the other in a rather ill-fitting suit in which he looked distinctly uncomfortable. I couldn’t help eavesdropping. The suited one said, “I got the suit off the Dole, they gave me £165”

  3. Roue le Jour says:

    Why not just pay a dowry to any mug who takes a bird off the dole?

  4. Potential alpha male says:

    It won’t happen here thank God. Feminazis hate marriage and more and more British Men are realising that British Women are not worth having ( with a few exceptions) . Fortunately thanks to feminazism , more and more men are going on Marriage strike leaving more and more single women who hate men but complain they can’t find one to support them in their “lifestyle choice”.
    The best thing we as men can do is walk away from the women and leave them to it denying them marriage and children. Then to really add insult to injury go and marry Eastern European women who are much better in every way. Just a thought!!!!

    • Al Jahom says:

      Very sad to say I 100% agree with you.

      No doubt some will take that to mean I’m an embittered loser who can’t get laid.

      Which isn’t true – I’m not at all embittered.

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