After some soul-destroying M25 hell today, I arrived a customer site for a meeting. Before I’d even got to the meeting room, I had been bombarded by impertinent questions, dubious imperatives and dodgy advice.
I arrived and parked up. I went for a piss, went for coffee then went upstairs to the meeting. It more or less went in this order:
- Reversing into parking spaces is mandatory.
- What colour is your piss? Are you drinking enough?
- Have you had a prostate exam recently?
- Here’s how to wash your hands.
- Have you washed your hands?
- Drink Smart – drink water, not fizzy drinks.
- Drugs are illegal, but talking about them isn’t. Ask Frank.
- It’s National Vegetarian Week. How will you be celebrating? Take a leaflet to find out.
- Start a good habit today. Use the stairs. Be Fit For Work.
- Hold the handrail.
- Here’s how to blow your nose. Put the tissue in a green bin.
I wanted to throw everyone in the room out of a window.
Obviously too many women working at that company.