No sympathy week

Sweet sweet tears.

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Waaaah.

The Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority (Ipsa) was established last year after a collective loss of confidence at the height of the expenses scandal. In an attempt to end the clubby atmosphere, in which MPs would often bully the Commons Fees Office, an outside body was given statutory powers to approve the payment of expenses.

Here are some of the complaints I’ve heard from an array of MPs, whose language about Ipsa would be out of place on this happy-family blog:

• In their initial encounter with staff from the new body, MPs are greeted with a written message which says Ipsa will not tolerate threatening or abusive behaviour. One former minister says:

We are being treated like benefit claimants. Why don’t they just put up a metal grille?

And how do you think the rest of us feel, when we see that sign in hospitals, airports, railway stations and anywhere else some officious shithead is about to bugger up our day?

Good. Carry on.

• The requirements for payment of expenses are too stringent. If an MP wants to claim for the travel expenses from the constituency to Westminster of their spouse or civil partner, they must produce their marriage or civil partnership certificate. If they want to claim travel expenses for a child (under the age of 16 and in full time education) they must produce the original birth certificate. This is what the rules say:

Prior to any reimbursements of this nature taking place, MPs wishing to claim for this will need to submit a completed application form via the online expenses system.

To support this pre-approval, they will need to provide the original certificate of marriage, civil partnership, or utility bill to prove co-habitation.

Evidence for travel for will be the same as for MPs, based on the mode of transport.

One minister is furious:

For Christ’s sake, what has happened if this bloody authority doesn’t believe me when I say my wife is my wife? A utility bill to prove co-habitation? Good God.

Ahahahahaaaaaaa. It’s tough, and it’s shit. It’s tough shit, matey. Sup it up you leeches.

• Taxis home can only be claimed after 11pm. One woman MP says:

What happens on a January night in London? I suppose I will have to take the tube, then a bus and then a long walk home. That is not safe.

That one woman MP can sup it up, too. Is she suggesting that women MPs be afforded special treatment?

MPs are resigned to the fact that there is nothing they can do. They have completely lost the trust of the public which is no mood to tolerate any easing of the rules.

That’s not quite true. All I ask is that they have to abide by the same expenses rules that are imposed upon the little people. I would hope a little more vast quantity of much needed reasonableness could be infused into those rules, which would be a Win-Win.

Some hope.

AJ

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About Al Jahom
Anti-social malcontent, misanthrope and miserable git.

4 Responses to No sympathy week

  1. JuliaM says:

    Can’t…stop…laughing!

  2. Ethan says:

    You have to have some sympathy with that woman MP worried that the streets aren’t safe.

    I suggest she writes to her MP and make the thieving git get off their expense account lard filled butt and do summat…oh wait…don’t nearly all MP’s live in their own constituency…so it’s actually her own job to make sure the streets are safe…oh…..as you were.
    Move along ..nothing to see here…

  3. JohnRS says:

    “Taxis home can only be claimed after 11pm. One woman MP says:
    What happens on a January night in London? I suppose I will have to take the tube, then a bus and then a long walk home. That is not safe.”

    Boo-hoo, my heart bleeds…NOT!

    And just who do think it was that has allowed the tube/bus/streets to become unsafe?
    That would be you and 649 of your friends. Maybe if you’d done the job you were elected to do you’d be safer while getting home.

    BTW on over £60k a year I think you can afford your own taxi – like the rest of us do, even when we’re on much lower incomes.

  4. SadButMadLad says:

    Considering the previous MPs could buy their 2nd house where ever they wanted I doubt they would choose one in a dangerous area. The current lot can rent anywhere they want so again why will they rent a cheap hovel in a down and out area. No in all cases MPs will be choosing to live in good areas where the chance of crime will be low.

    Anyway, what about a car if you’re that worried?

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