Splendid

Dick Puddlecote takes the opportunity to fight fail with fail and comes up trumps. LOL.

Impossible To Resist

We recently found out that the wife of one of Mrs Puddlecote’s acquaintances had sneered at the Puddlecote habit of re-filling plastic water bottles. The reasoning being that it causes cancer, apparently. So adamant was she that, at the weekend, her ‘public duty’ was to thrust a printout of this page into Mrs P’s hand, with all the alarmist phrases highlighted in dayglo green. Some chemicals were even neatly double underlined in black.

"I’m extremely worried about cancer", she gushed, "you should throw your bottles away and not let your children drink out of them".

Now, this hectoring ball of festering panic lives in a flat above a print shop from which the smell of ink fumes is significantly noticeable. So, this afternoon, Mrs P handed her a printout of this page, which I had kindly printed off, highlighted, and appropriately underlined.

The "ink" in a copier is a very fine black powder known as toner, or by its chemical name, carbon black. Carbon Black usually comes in a replaceable cartridge, and is classified a carcinogen, which means it is "capable of inducing cancer." Very special care must be taken when handling toner cartridges, and they must be disposed of properly, not, for instance, simply tossed into a trash can.

Honestly, you’ve got to read the rest as it’s an object lesson in hysterical alarmism.

Mrs P calmly pointed out the difference in toner volume between a humble office photocopier and a hard-working print shop, and between a few hours in an office compared to living, breathing and sleeping directly above industrial printing equipment. The horrified intake of breath was reportedly heard in the post office five doors down.

I think the letting agents will be getting a call in the morning, if they haven’t had one already, of course.

Does this make us bad people?

No – it makes you minor heroes, and I raise a glass to you, sir.

AJ

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About Al Jahom
Anti-social malcontent, misanthrope and miserable git.

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