Tobias Haynes: Cock-knocker extraordinaire

Someone on Twatter pointed me towards this bollox. First the amusing typo.

image

Late at night, when my cats are chasing each other up and down the bastard stairs, I start to agree with the above.

However, he really doesn’t mean cats – he just doesn’t have a proof-reader.

More details from petition creator

This is a petition to limit cars to 70 MPH; Why are cars made capable to do high speeds reaching 120MPH etc when our laws clearly state 70MPH is the Maximum possible throughout the country?

Okay, you Kia driving, hat wearing, provincial sucker of Werthers’ originals, here are just a few reasons why you are a total cunt.

1) The speed limit on many French autoroutes (which I use several times a year) is 130kmh = 81mph.

2) The speed limit on many Italian autostrada (which I use several times a year) is 150kmh = 93mph

3) There is no speed limit at all on many of the German Autobahnen that I use frequently.

4) There is no speed limit on track and airfields that I use frequently

5) Get the fuck out of my way you fucking tool

AJ

7 thoughts on “Tobias Haynes: Cock-knocker extraordinaire

  1. They never give up, they are convinced that speed not inappropriate driving is at the root cause of all motoring accidents. We need to up the limits on motorways to 100 mph and get more traffic cops out there to force the lane hogs over, not restrict cars to 70 mph (or 50 mph in the centre lane of the M2 this morning idiot)

  2. I think it should work like this.

    Inside lane – max engine capacity allowed is 1.6 l (excluding hgv)
    Middle lane – min engine capacity allowed is 2 l (no hgv tortoise racing allowed)
    Right hand lane – minimum engine capacity is 2.5 l or 2l turbocharged and all motorcycles allowed

    That way, all the lentil eating sandal wearing wierd beard old prius driving cunts can dither along in the inside lanes, and keep the fuck out of my BMW and motorbike lane. And I can drive/ride at any fucking speed I elect as safe in the conditions.

    Or deal with all lane hoggers with summary 9mm justice at the side of the road the fucking blind dumb stupid twats.

    • He’s up to 3 signatures – both of the new ones are pisstakes.. lol

      Anyway – power to weight ratio is the important thing. An E200 Bluemotion should fall into the inside lane. A bike engined caterham should be in the outside lane.

      The Frogs have the right idea about lorries.

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