A while back, someone wrote ‘SELFISH’ on the back of my car, in the grime with a finger.
I just thought, “you don’t know the half of it, you envious prick.”
The inscription stayed until the car next got washed (not one of my most frequent or favourite activities).
You’re damned right I’m selfish. Because who the fuck else is going to look after me and my interests? You? The government? Get the fuck away from me.
What’s more, I’m a hypocrite. A big fat stinking fucking hypocrite. I wear my hypocrisy like a badge of honour. Do as I say, not as I do, you impertinent shits.
And if you don’t like it, you can fuck off.