Prog Jock..

Leafing through my Spectator this morning on the train (gash avoidance tactic #2) I read Hardeep wossisface eulogising about Marillion from his youth.

His comment is spot on. Have this:

AJ

Oh my….

Sat in a train. Starting to get crowded.

Sat opposite me is a woman and her mother (or much older sister). Think they’re septics.

The woman has one foot up on the ventilation duct.

I swear on my fucking life, her twat is staring me in the face.

I’ve had to reposition my laptop so I can’t see the damned thing.

AJ

Get in there….

I was only musing on this a few days back, after Steve Shark reminded me of the very point…

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Next stop, The Hague, for you Blair, you terrible cunt.

AJ

ROFLiscious.. Have that you righteous, middle-class hokum suckers…

Thankyou Sanity.

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Click the story to read on…

AJ

If you can do one thing every time you drive….

it’s to terrify anyone who isn’t up to it.

They’ll go home and curse you, and probably have vodka and valium, but they’ll never drive again.

Job done.

Call it a congestion charge. Everyone loves that.

AJ

Speed limits

Now look, you fucking numbskulls.

See this?

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This means. DRIVE AT FUCKING 50 MILES AN HOUR.  (See also “Speedometers all over-read and legal limit = posted limit + 10% + 2MPH.”)

“It’s a limit not a target” say smug cunts in Volvos, with slippers.

Wrong, says the driving test examiner, who’ll fail your ass if you sit at 40, holding people up in a 50.

Failing to make due progress is the official name of the fault on the test.

Being a fucking brainless dithering cunt is what it should be called.

But I digress. What’s worse, is that these people, having been absolutely convinced by the head of their chapter of the Caravan Club, that “it’s a limit, not a target”, then find righteousness in rebuking those of us who like to overtake. Usually with flashing headlamps and gesticulation.

And now we get to the reason why you will fail your driving test for failing to make due progress.

It’s because one day, I’m going to overtake you, and you’re going to remonstrate.

Then I’m going to stop, blocking the road, get out of the car and break your windows and your smug stupid grey cunting face with a tyre iron.

Now, get out of my motherfucking way, or I’ll ram you into a ditch you cunts.

Now fuck off

AJ

Useless Government Propaganda Brass-necked Dickheads…

Back in December 2008, for posterity, I relayed to you the Met Office’s assurance that 2009 would be one of the warmest on record.

But long range forecasts suggest that next year will be among the warmest.

The average global temperature is expected to be more than 32.7F (0.4C) above the long term average, making next year warmer than this year and the hottest since 2005, researchers from the Met Office and the University of East Anglia said.

They issued a press release in April 2009 confirming their earlier prediction.

The coming summer is ‘odds on for a barbecue summer’, according to long-range forecasts. Summer temperatures across the UK are likely to be warmer than average and rainfall near or below average for the three months of summer.

Chief Meteorologist at the Met Office, Ewen McCallum, said: “After two disappointingly-wet summers, the signs are much more promising this year. We can expect times when temperatures will be above 30 °C, something we hardly saw at all last year.”

Well, now they’ve annouced that this will (no shit motherfucking Sherlock) no longer transpire. Perhaps ermbarassed? Apologetic? Contrite?

Not on your fucking nelly.

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The Met Office refused to apologise today after admitting that the “barbecue summer” they had predicted was no longer likely.

As rain lashed down on most of Britain, a revised forecast was published suggesting that the weather in August would be changeable with more rain as well as sunny periods.

The revised forecast will come as an embarrassment to the Met Office who published a press release in April detailing news of a hot summer. Ewen McCallum, the chief meteorologist, said the wet summers of 2007 and 2008 were highly unlikely to be repeated.

“This year will be much drier than normal,” he predicted. “Get the BBQ out. Probably with spells of weather with the temperature reaching 30 degrees Celsius.”

Philip Eden, vice president of the Royal Meteorological Society, criticised the Met Office for publicising such an optimistic prediction when they had relatively little evidence of how the summer would unfold.

“The key is that these are experimental forecasts. That’s fine by me – it’s exactly what they should be doing,” he told BBC Radio 4’s Today programme:

“They should be doing research into long-range forecasts. The problem is that we don’t actually know very much about the forcing factors, the outside influences which affect the weather during a period of, say, a month or three months ahead.

“The big problem with these forecasts was the spin that was put on it by the Met Office’s press office – the ’barbecue summer’ bit.”

He pointed out that the wording of the forecast was actually “unambitious” and had a “very wide target”. “They simply predicted that temperatures for the summer quarter would be above average,” he said.

The Times imply that Gordo was behind this piece of distracting “barbecue summer” bollox. Which is just fucking typical.

Put a team into the met office. Sack all the AGW true believers. Break it up and sell it off to the private sector.

Why am I paying for any of these dicks?

AJ

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