A new constitutional settlement…

With a small retinue of my esteemed associates, I have been discussing the West Lothian, Darian, Porridge Faced Numpties question.

We think we’ve solved the conundrum of Scottish independence. And a few other vexatious concerns beside.

Taking into account the following factors:

  • West Lothian Question
  • Scottish Football Crisis (vis. Celtic and Rangers wanting into Premiership etc.)
  • Acknowledged Scottish talent for treasuring and nurturing areas of natural beauty.
  • Northern workshy sponging pauper peasants.
  • Existing natural boundaries.

We started to look at the Scottish border and the possibility of moving it somewhat, to see what effect it would have on the above factors, and then what would be the optimal place

Here’s the outcome:


As you can see, the border has moved somewhat towards the south. You can see it here in more detail:

Click image to enlarge.

Essentially, what we’ve done is use the M62 as the new AlJahom’s Wall. Passport and customs booths will cover each south-facing entry and exit slip-road.

As you’ll see, at each end we’ve had to make some adjustments to ensure an equitable outcome for England and Scotland. And that the Scousers are finally disposed of.

The outcomes will be as follows:

  • 90% of the UKs communists, trots, moochers and looters all in one easy to manage cage nation.
  • Scottish Premiership becomes a proper football league and the Glesgae boys can stop fucking moaning about coming down to England to play real football.
  • And yeah.. lol… they can keep the oil and gas. They’ll be needing it to push their GDP into double figures. And Northern Crock.

What’s not to like?



About Al Jahom
Anti-social malcontent, misanthrope and miserable git.

10 Responses to A new constitutional settlement…

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  3. I love this plan! Though, technically, it would mean abandoning me to the fate of the wastrels and spongers in the new Scotland. I guess I could move…

    Great stuff!

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  5. Hywel says:

    Heaven forbid! I would cry if Hull City had to play in the SPL.

    You can have Leeds though.

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  7. Liam says:

    Maybe then we can sit at the border and watch the marauding celts as they deep fry scousers and eat them.

  8. Pam Nash says:

    I can live with that -it would merely mean me moving back to Buckinghamshire.

    I’ve always known that there are ancient bylaws that have never been repealed – yesterday I discovered that you can murder a Scotsman within the city walls of York, but only if the Scotsman is carrying a bow and arrow. So bump into a Scotsman in York, hand him the bow and arrow you happen to have about your person, and BAM – job done. I cannot, currently, find a flaw in this plan.

  9. tangentreality says:

    That’s fine, but can we keep the Lake District as an English enclave? :-)

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