Two Pints of Non-Alcoholic Lager and a Packet of Fat-Free Crisps
How pointless regulations are ruining British pub life
If you want to buy a drink at a pub in Oldham, northern England, you must stand in an orderly "post-office-style" line. It must be a straight line, starting one meter from the bar, with barriers, signage, and a "supervisor." There must be no drinking while standing in line, and no drinking within one meter of the bar. Customers cannot order more than two drinks at one time. And if a pub wants to advertise discounted drinks, it must give the police and local council at least seven days’ notice.
Pubs were once one of the most autonomous spaces in Britain; now they are one of the most regulated.
Now, there’s a lot of seriously depressing reading there about how the meddling pecksniff shits who’ve been running the shop for the last 12+ years have basically fucked up everything that isn’t miserable, austere, parsimonious and Presbyterian.
It’s not without a sour irony that one recalls how Labour jumped on an out-of-context quote from Mrs.T, that “there’s no such thing as society,” when these authoritarian, idealist, ivory-tower dwelling cunts have successfully done more to destroy society than Thatcher could have conceived of even in her brain-meltdown last 12 months.
However, the comments of Appleton’s article provide enlightenment on something else: Americans are starting to widely pity us.
Britain has become epic self-parody. I doubt I’ll ever take British critcism for anything American seriously ever again. Wow, they really do love ‘permissions’. Too bad treating adults like children only rewards irresponsible behavior.
Now, as a Brit, it’s attractive to shrug my shoulders and agree with him – he’s right after all.
But in the UK, we’re about to see the status quo change (relatively) dramatically with a massive shift back towards personal responsibility. That it took 12+ years of utter fucking cuntitude in public office before the British people came to this realisation is sad, but true.
And let’s not forget that the USA has its selection of ludicrous state and federal laws… 21 to drink alcohol… war on drugs.. Patriot Act… and everything in between.
And that was all pre-Barry. But the USA has just had its new dawn, and it’s got Things Can Only Get Better written all over it.
You can bet your freedom loving asses that Obama has his eye on every gap between how you live and how he and his cronies think you should live and he’s gearing up to cleave your shit up to make it fit the righteous template. Bazza has the same instincts as Blair and the same lefty backers and blockers, akin to Campbell, Brown, Mandelson.
We’ll see who’s laughing in 8 years time, Yankees….. all of Bazza’s good ideas will be drowned at birth and a whole load of commie, authoritarian, constitution mangling shit will be invading every orifice of your existence.
Or my name’s not Alan Chinnerous Rackon Jahom.