April 30, 2009 1 Comment
Three Labour MPs are said to be terrified that the release of their expenses claims will expose them as adulterers and financial cheats.
Two are understood to have had extra-marital affairs with other members of Parliament.
Not only are they believed to have shared hotel rooms during annual conference get-togethers and party away days but also to have double-claimed for the rooms on their expenses.
If both MPs have claimed for the bill they will be branded frauds as well as love cheats when journalists and freedom of information campaigners sift through their receipts.
The third backbencher is said to have made ‘grotesque’ financial claims.
Here’s where the fun begins, though…
A Commons source told the Mail: ‘The whips have three Labour MPs on suicide watch. That’s how serious this scandal is. The whips believe they might kill themselves.’
Now, suicide watch would normally mean taking away their ties, belts and shoelaces. Which won’t make them too hard to spot around Westminster. So long as there isn’t a Michael Foot tribute day in progress. Or maybe Labourists start removing their own belts and ties in solidarity. Slip-on shoes prevents the removal of laces.
Or, in this case do they just mean they are going to ‘watch’ the suicides? It’d serve the troughing cunts right and be a salutary lesson for the future. I do hope pay-per-view rights aren’t announced, because if they are, I’ll be forced to buy a very large telly.