Gordon loves austerity…

Because he’s an irredemably miserable bastard, and in 2009 he will finally succeed in making us all as miserable as him.

And now he’s going to lecture us. Yes – fucking LECTURE us about the edifying potential of a depression recession.

The recession is a test of character the British people must pass, Gordon Brown is set to say.

In next week’s New Year message, the prime minister is expected to urge the public to “display the same spirit” as their predecessors did in World War II.

He will also describe US president-elect Barack Obama as a “catalyst” for tackling global issues.

And Mr Brown will demand that the public work together in an effort to build a “better tomorrow”.

He is expected to proclaim that Britain is not “broken” but the “best country in the world” and say: “I believe the British people will show those who talk them down exactly what they are made of in 2009 – as we build tomorrow today.”

Only if you call an election you communist douchebag.

Just breath-taking. And just to show you he’s really got the measure of the British people, and the times we are in (to say nothing of the science):

Climate change

Returning to his focus on the problem of climate change, Mr Brown will describe Mr Obama as a leading light in the fight against it.

Mr Brown will say: “I believe we can do it – and because we can, we must.

“The stakes are too great with our planet in peril for us to do anything less.

“I look forward to working with President-elect Obama in creating a transatlantic, and then a global coalition for change.”

I really do wonder what the skies are like on his planet?



Update: Courtesy of Mr Eugenides who undertakes the grim sacrifice of reading the Mirror for us:

“When things are going well people call me Gordon.
“When things are going badly they call me Mr Brown.
“At the moment they are calling me Gordon.”

Things are going well? Oh gooooooooooood.

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