Al Jahom’s Final Word

November 5, 2009

Moral Maze: Twitter…

Filed under: BBC, Puritans, Pussy Britain, Rare insights, Thicko Culture, Uncommon Sense — Al Jahom @ 11:16 pm

Who’d have guess it would come up as a topic on Moral Maze? But in light of the recent twatterstorms vis. Carter Ruck, Jan Moir and A.A. Gill, the day has come…

image115[1]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00nkcfk/Moral_Maze_04_11_2009/

Makes interesting listening.

AJ

October 7, 2009

Honestly, it’s as if the recession never happened…

Filed under: Puritans, Tories — Al Jahom @ 3:27 pm

Some peasant cuntrags are whining on about Tories drinking champagne at their conference.

“So fucking what?” I say. Do you think Broon didn’t drink Champagne when he went to this:

image15[1]

Or Blair when he went to this:

image

Anyway, I’m partial to the odd bottle or three myself…

http://aljahom.wordpress.com/2009/09/12/twas-a-bargain/

http://aljahom.wordpress.com/2009/09/01/career-win/

AJ

September 19, 2009

A common response…

Filed under: Commie Bastards, Denormalisation, NHS, Puritans, Smoking, Uncommon Sense, nanny state — Al Jahom @ 12:35 pm

Over at DK’s place, the Filthy Smoker has nicely summed up my response to news that ‘unhealthy men may lose 10 years

"’We’ve shown that men at age 50 who smoke, have high blood pressure and high cholesterol levels can expect to survive to 74 years of age, while those who have none of these risk factors can expect to live until 83."

Fuck me, but is this really what it all comes down to? The endless public health scare stories. The fascist smoking legislation. The rapacious tax rises. The fake charities. The obesity ‘epidemic’. Ian bastard Gilmore. It all comes down to the risk of dying at the age of 74? And I can eat what I want and smoke tabs as well? 

This is the least scary scare story I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen Troll 2.

Doctors, if you’re reading this:  74 years is more than enough time for me to do all the things I plan to do in this life. I’ll leave all that senility, dribbling and pissing myself to someone else, if it’s all the same to you. 

Risk very much accepted, now fuck off and leave me alone. Don’t worry about those taxes I’ve been paying. To be honest, I never expected to see that money again anyway. Use it to buy a catheter for an 83 year old non-smoking vegetarian. I’m off out.

Nothing really to add to that, other than to enquire what I may do to bring that figure down to, say, 70.

AJ

September 11, 2009

New Puritanism…

Filed under: Gordon Brown, Jesus. Fucking. Wept, Puritans, Scotland — Al Jahom @ 3:50 pm

Earlier, I wondered aloud from whence came this new age of Puritanism.

I think I have the answer. Scotland. More accurately, Protestants. Dour, work-obsessed, self-flagellating, abstemious, pious, judgemental fuckbaskets.

http://devilskitchen.me.uk/2009/09/doctors-still-lying-about-alcohol.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/rachelsylvester/3555989/Roundhead-Gordon-Browns-New-Puritans.html

Still, at least they don’t fuck your kids, like the Catholics, eh? Wrong…

I mean, for fucks sake, give over your first born to the pederasts with the wine and incense and let the fucking good times roll again.

By the way, have you noticed how Christians of all hues these days are pretty shit at forbearance and forgiveness?

I don’t read the Bible much, but I went to school for a while and I’m fairly sure that Jeebus was pretty hot on those two qualities, right there.

AJ

Total news blackout…

The other day, I was warming to the idea of the coming winter bringing with it political turmoil and schadenfreuderous giggles.

Today, however, while perusing Mr Puddlecote’s splendid blog, I wondered if I really do want to dive back into all that fucking shit.

You And Your Family Will Die Horribly – Soon
Another Day, Another Witless Attack On Alcohol
Be On Your Way, This Is Our Territory
Onward Puritan Soldiers

Now, while DP writes very well and provides thoughtful and informed comment, there’s no getting away from the message of relentless and depressing attacks on our liberty and adulthood that we are sustaining on a daily basis at the hands of these socialist, ideologue, control-freak fuckheads who run the show.

I’ve not seen TV news now for months. I’ve not picked up a newspaper or gone beyond the front page of a news website for months.

And it has been absolutely fucking joyous.

It seems impossible to remain happy while keeping abreast of the latest ways in which the bullying, thieving state intends to encroach upon our autonomy and humanity, while pissing all of our money up the cunting wall.

So I’m going to have to find something else to write about this winter. Certainly, as you’ll have already seen, my bile will be focussed away from flogging the dead horse that’s in power now and towards Davy Spameron, who is, without a shadow of a doubt, going to usher in at least 5 more years of the same fucking shit.

Fuck the lot of them. Fuck Labour. Fuck the Tories. Fuck News International. Fuck the Daily Mail. Fuck the unions. Fuck the health & safety executive. Fuck lawyers. Fuck local councils. Fuck teachers. Fuck Trevor Phillips. Motherfuck the BBC.

And breathe…

AJ

August 26, 2009

If you’re not depressed now…

You will be, once you’ve read John Demetriou’s post about what has happened to this country.

Can people not see what is happening here? The State has the upper hand. We are all being made into their bitches. Why? Because, by virtue of us being the law abiding citizens who want to get along and get by without fuss, we are easy meat. We pay up when told to pay up, we get into our hutches and eat and drink what we’re told, and when. We are told what and how to consume, what is acceptable and what is not, and what is safe and what isn’t.

Read the whole thing. And weep. Or rant. Or go put a rocket up your MP’s arse (a NASA colonoscopy as I call that at work).

AJ

January 27, 2009

NHS Priorities

Via LegIron at Old Holborn, I see that the NHS is getting so much cash thrown at it now, that it doesn’t even have to spend much of it on, you know, healthcare.

Hospitals will take meat off menus in bid to cut carbon

Meat-free menus are to be promoted in hospitals as part of a strategy to cut global warming emissions across the National Health Service.

The plan to offer patients menus that would have no meat option is part of a strategy to be published tomorrow that will cover proposals ranging from more phone-in GP surgeries to closing outpatient departments and instead asking surgeons to visit people at their local doctor’s surgery.

Some suggestions are likely to be controversial with patients’ groups, especially attempts to curb meat eating and car use. Plans to reuse more equipment could raise concern about infection with superbugs such as MRSA.

Dr David Pencheon, director of the NHS sustainable development unit, said the amount of NHS emissions meant it had to act to make cuts, and the changes would save money, which could be spent on better services for patients.

The NHS has a ‘sustainable development’ unit. I think I need to lie down.

On Tuesday, Pencheon and the NHS chief executive, David Nicholson, will publish the strategy – Saving Carbon, Improving Health – which will set targets to cut the organisation’s carbon footprint, and proposals to meet them. It follows a government pledge last year to cut greenhouse gas emissions by 80% by 2050.

The plans cover all aspects of patients’ care, from building design to transport, waste, food, water and energy use.

Among the most talked-about is likely to be the suggestion that hospitals could cut carbon emissions from food and drink by offering fewer meat and dairy products. Last year, the United Nations climate chief, Rajendra Pachauri, provoked a global debate…

No, Grauniad, he provoked paroxysms of howling laughter.

… when he said having a meat-free day every week was the biggest single contribution people could make to curbing climate change in their personal lives, because of the chemicals sprayed on feed crops and the methane emitted by cattle and sheep. Last week, the German federal environment agency went further, advising people to eat meat only on special occasions. Pencheon said the move would cut the relatively high carbon emissions from rearing animals and poultry, and improve health. Last year the NHS served 129m main meals, costing £312m, according to Department of Health figures. "We should not expect to see meat on every menu," said Pencheon. "We’d like higher levels of fresh food, and probably higher levels of fresh fruit and veg, and more investment in a local economy."

If ‘climate change’ were something that we can and do influence, then these ludicrous ideas may have some small merit. As it is, we’re betting the lot on a straw man constructed by socialists defeated by the fall of the Iron Curtain.

Reality truly is a rarely sighted phenomenon.

AJ

January 5, 2009

Will you become a criminal on 26th January?

http://www.backlash-uk.org.uk/

Censorship law

For the first time in the western world, when extreme image clauses come into effect on 26th January 2009 it will be illegal for anyone in England and Wales to possess such an image.

The Criminal Justice and Immigration Bill received Royal Assent on Thursday 8th May 2008 and the extreme image clauses come into effect on 26th January 2009. The government have kindly provided further guidance to the pubic to help them understand this new law.

The Spanner Trust have also prepared a pdf guide to what the law says and how to avoid breaking it.

CAAN have sought to flush out the rules, with a demonstration led by Ben Westwood generating mainstream news attention in Parliament Square on 21 October 2008.

Jack Straw’s attempt at justifying the law on possession and reassure that the parliamentary process has produced a workable law that is well defined and will be very difficult to break can be found here.

Inadequate scrutiny of this Bill by Parliament has been another classic illustration that Britain suffers from an “elected dictatorship” between elections.

The final text of the Act is available in full as a pdf file here or as an html here and the extreme image clauses start here.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/11/28/extreme_images/

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/06/19/extreme_guidance/

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/10/09/policing_internet_one

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/12/09/extreme_images_police_confused/

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/11/26/pr0n_ban_date/

http://www.justice.gov.uk/news/announcement261108a.htm

If nothing else, the worry must be that if the pigs want you and they don’t have anything else on you, they can take your computers and make if it what they will. Even of the charge turns out to be completely trumped up, before your day in court, you’ll have been conditionally bailed or remanded and you will have been pilloried in the press and on the internet. Mud sticks.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/10/22/bondage_protest/

Insistence that everything’s just fine also come from the Department for Children, Schools and Families. A spokesperson added: “Safeguarding children is top priority for this Government and the child has been put at the heart of our reforms and we are determined to maintain a relentless focus on children’s safety.”

Ah – the last refuge of the scoundrel.

It’s just more power to the corrupt and righteous.

AJ

December 27, 2008

Smokers of the world unite. And cough.

Filed under: Commie Bastards, Government, Labour, Liberty, Puritans, Smoking, nanny state — Al Jahom @ 1:26 pm

Dick Puddlecote has a rather excellent blog of ‘leave me alone to live my life, you interfering clowns’ variety and I highly recommend it. Even if he does appear to lack the swear-gene.

Here’s a particularly splendid breakdown of the nonsense lies peddled by ASH in the smoking wars:

Unfortunately, this week is seeing a right kick in the teeth for ASH and their ilk. Lies are being exposed quite ruthlessly. First we had the revelation a couple of days ago that the smoking ban in England had actually reversed a long trend and managed to increase smoker prevelance. Today, ASH have been beaten by an even bigger stick as it was revealed that the Scottish smoking ban, allied with a banning of the sale of packs of 10, and the raising of the age for buying cigarettes has resulted in a 5% increase in young adults smoking in Scotland.

The number of young people smoking in Scotland has returned to a level last seen nearly 10 years ago, according to a report by health officials.

The survey revealed nearly a third of people between 16-24 are smokers.

In 2004 the number of young smokers in Scotland had fallen to just 25% but by 2007 that figure was 31%.

Note the dates. Smoking cessation initiatives have been an abject failure and have massively increased smoker prevalence in the 16-25 age group. So what does Shona Robertson suggest to halt this slide? Yep, you guessed it. More of the same failed policy.

Click through to see all of the following smoking ban ‘myths’ comprehensively destroyed proven true:

Myth: It will be bad for pubs
Myth: It will be bad for bingo
Myth: There will be large scale non-compliance
Myth: There will be heavy handed enforcement with undercover officers and covert filming
Myth: Working men’s clubs and shisha bars will close
Myth: People won’t really quit
Myth: Smoking is a victimless crime/ Claims about the health impact are flawed
Myth: House fires will increase as people will stay at home to smoke
Myth: There will be an increase in exposure of secondhand smoke in the home, affecting children
Myth: The public do not want a smoking ban or any further tobacco control measures

Glory be.

AJ

December 11, 2008

The Truth Hurts

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/education/article5326005.ece

Teacher who told pupils ‘Santa doesn’t exist’ is axed

A teacher who told pupils that Father Christmas does not exist has been prevented from returning to the school.

The class of seven-year-olds were learning about Christmas at Blackshaw Lane Primary School in Oldham, when their female supply teacher told them that Santa Claus did not deliver their presents at Christmas.

The teacher – who was only drafted in for a day last week – left pupils confused and upset after she told them it was their parents who put presents in their stockings on Christmas Eve, not St Nic.

The school was pummelled with complaints after the children returned home to tell their parents what they had learnt in class that day.

One father said: “Apparently this teacher just came out with it in class. I couldn’t believe it when my daughter told me. Why would you say such a thing? She was really upset.

“She’d been thinking about it on the way home and she couldn’t understand.”

He added: “It should be down to parents, not teachers, to deal with this sort of thing. And seven or eight is no age to be told that.”

Angela McCormick, headmistress at the school, contacted the agency who supplied the teacher and told them not to send her again.

Another parent said that he had spent hours convincing his daughter that the teacher was wrong. He said: “I’ve told her she must have been confused.

“I wasn’t happy and a lot of the mums were upset. All kids at that age are excited at this time of year, so for someone to come out and say something like that puts a dampener on it all.

In other news, Professor Gerhard Blund of the German Orthodontic society was arrested last night at Heathrow Airport, amid claims that he had published a paper in 2003, which is said to disprove the existence of tooth fairies. Prof. Blund is expected to face the Parish court of Tunbridge Wells, where Tooth Fairy Denial has been a capital offence since the Flouride Holocaust of 1897.

Wankers.

AJ

December 1, 2008

A History of Anti-Smoking

Back to business. A very interesting read regarding my earlier regurgitation of DK’s Heart Attack Haggis post.

http://www.velvetgloveironfist.com/index.php?page_id=65

Timeline

17.02.06: STOPIT (STudy Of Public place Intervention on Tobacco exposure) announce the decision to conduct a study designed to “test the hypothesis raised by the Montana study that a reduction in ETS [Environmental Tobacco Exposure] exposure is accompanied by a rapid reduction in the incidence of acute coronary syndrome (ACS).” The study is to be led by Dr Jill Pell.

10.9.07: Dr Pell and her team announce their findings at a conference in Edinburgh. The Scottish government marks the occasion by issuing a press release titled ‘Smoking ban brings positive results’ saying: “A study of nine Scottish hospitals has found a 17 per cent fall in admissions for heart attacks in the first year after the smoking ban came into force.”

11.9.07: International media, including The Times, The Guardian and The Daily Mail report the news that, as the latter put it:
“Further dramatic evidence emerged last night to show that banning smoking in public reduces the rate of heart attacks. Hospital admissions for heart attacks dropped by 17 per cent in the year after the legislation was introduced in Scotland. If the pattern is repeated throughout the UK, there would be almost 40,000 fewer heart attacks a year.”

14.11.07: The BBC publish an article (online) titled ‘When the facts get in the way of a good story’. The author noted that data from ISD Scotland showed that the real drop in heart attacks was just 8%. He added: “What appeared to be hard medical evidence now looks more like over-hasty and over-confident research, coupled with wishful political thinking and uncritical journalism.”
22.12.07: The Times includes the study in its list of ‘The worst junk stats of 2007′.

30.7.08: On the eve of the study’s publication, the international media report the findings again. USA Today writes: “Scotland’s smoking ban appears to have prevented hundreds of heart attacks in its first year, a study shows. The number of people admitted to the hospital for heart attacks fell by 17% in the year after Scotland’s smoking ban took effect in March 2006.”
Tom Glynn of the American Cancer Society calls the study “virtually flawless’.

31.7.08: The study is finally published in the respected New England Journal of Medicine titled ‘Smoke-free Legislation and Hospitalizations for Acute Coronary Syndrome’.
19.09.08: Velvet Glove author obtains additional hospital data under the Freedom of Information Act. Provisional data suggests that acute coronary syndrome admissions fell by 9.3% in the 12 months following the ban.

25.11.08: Scottish government quietly releases final figures for hospital admissions since the smoke-free legislation. Acute coronary syndrome admissions fell by just 7.2% in year one – in line with the long-term downward trend – before rising by 7.8% in year two.

These people have done a lot of work on this and it deserves a wide audience. That said, I’m putting it here so that I can still remember it in a year.

There are currently (2008/12/01-21:10) 132 comments on DK’s post on this topic – I urge you to regard them.

AJ

November 30, 2008

Smoking Ban Increases Heart Disease in Scotland

Obviously nothing to do with the battered lard pies they eat morning, noon and night. But ‘they’ cited the decrease in the year after the ban came in as a victory. Wonder what they’ll say now that their ‘good work’ has all been undone.

http://devilskitchen.me.uk/2008/11/what-you-didnt-read-this-week.html

Virtually every newspaper in Britain reported that Scotland had seen a large fall in heart attacks since March 2006 (when the ban started) and so – post hoc ergo propter hoc – it was the ban wot done it. The Guardian’s report – Smoking ban brings big cut in heart attacks in Scotland, study finds – was typical of the media’s willingness to believe in this delightful little fairy-tale.

Inevitably, one the hatchet-faced gurners from Action on Smoking and Health piped up to make the implied connection with passive smoking explicit.

When the study was finally published in July this year it got another flurry of international press attention. By this time, the belief that heart attacks had fallen by 17% had become established fact and was being cited in a bid for world domination.

But the smell of bullshit lingered over the story and this week the truth finally emerged.

You see, we don’t need to pay partisan researchers to estimate how many people get admitted to hospital for heart attacks because the hospitals count and diagnose all the patients themselves. These figures are then compiled and published by professional statisticians. It takes them a while to do it, but that’s because they want to get it right. They don’t just want to pull numbers out of their arses to provide lazy journalists with fanciful stories.

And when these professional statisticians have collated the information properly, they publish it online for all to see, showing the recent trend and the long-term trend.

They finally got round to doing this on Wednesday and everything that was reported last year was exposed as a shabby load of old bollocks. Yes, admissions for acute coronary syndrome had fallen after the ban but they had been falling for years as this graph shows:

The figure was nowhere near 17%. It was 7.2%. And, above all, the rate went up for the first time in a decade the following year – by 7.8%. In other words, there were more heart attacks in smoke-free Scotland last year than there were before the ban.

Quality.

AJ

Philippines, Latvia, Hungary, Argentina afford more privacy than UK

This came out a few months ago, before I started this raddled piece of crap blog, but it’s worth raising again, since I was asked about it.

Privacy International have been researching privacy around the world and publishing an annual index since 1997. Here is the 2007 report, from which the following chart is clipped -click the chart to zoom-in:

PrivacyChart 

Here’s the Wikipedia entry for Privacy International.

AJ

November 29, 2008

Shut your fucking jug-eared face, your Highness.

There used to be an argument that the royal family, as comical as they are, are an asset to our country.

Once Charlie is King though, we’ll be nought but a laughing stock.

Why does The Times even give this in-bred goon column inches?

AJ

November 23, 2008

A cake? Of cheese?

Was more or less my reaction when the bovine cleavage that has Jacqui Smith attached to it was appointed Home Secretary. Bizarrely, the conversation I was having was with my mother.

I couldn’t quite put my finger on what I found unsettling about this appointment. My first instinct was comically naive: “How can a woman be tough enough to be Home Secretary?”. My second instinct was much more on the money though. An awful lot of women have a capability that is theirs alone to be cold, draconian, illogical, vindictive, calculating, evasive and utterly blind to their fallibility.

Harriet Harman – the vile feminist barrister and authoritarian harridan – was a trail blazer in this area. Cherie Blair – the vile feminist barrister and authoritarian harridan – was right behind our Prime Minister for 10 long years. Look out, by the way, for more of that with Michelle Obama and Hilary Clinton taking their seats at the top table in America.

As an aside, Chris Rock on Michelle Obama was priceless:

“Barack has a handicap the other candidates don’t have: Barack Obama has a black wife. And I don’t think a black woman can be first lady of the United States. Yeah, I said it! A black woman can be president, no problem. First lady? Can’t do it. You know why? Because a black woman cannot play the background of a relationship. Just imagine telling your black wife that you’re president? ‘Honey, I did it! I won! I’m the president.’ ‘No, we the president! And I want my girlfriends in the Cabinet! I want Kiki to be secretary of state! She can fight!”

Anyway, my concern was not whether Jacqui Smith would be tough enough, but whether she would be fair enough. Modern female thinking doesn’t seem to lend itself to libertarianism. I strongly suspect Ayn Rand was a post-op transsexual.

Indeed – her authoritarian streak is a mile wide.

As the UK Home Secretary, she has been noted for advocating strongly authoritarian policies. Examples are a law to detain crime suspects for several months without charging them for any crime, a central database that logs all mobile phone and email/internet traffic in the UK, and restrictions to the freedom of photography. She justified these policies as necessary “anti-terror” laws.

That fails to mention her recent and darkly comical pushing of ID cards.

And her current hobby-horse is prostitution. She says 80% of prostitutes are trafficked or coerced – effectively slaves. Having sex with one of these women should bring a charge of rape. The onus must be on the man who procures a prostitute to ensure that she is not working for anyone else under duress.

It seems difficult to fault the logic until you hear Niki Adams, spokesman for the English Collective of Prostitutes, who says (as she did when talking to Andrew Neil) that Smith’s figures are utter nonsense.

For the second time in a row, Minnette Marrin has this nailed down.

Of course it is wrong to force women into sex against their will in any circumstances. To do so is to break laws that already exist against rape, sexual assault and trafficking. It is also true that there must be some situations that are obviously dubious and that any law-abiding man ought to get out of as fast as possible. If, for example, the girls are very young and speak hardly a word of English, it is a fair bet that something is wrong.

Normally, though, how is a man to tell? I’ve come across a lot of prostitutes, some in the red-light districts of Hong Kong, Bangkok and Luang Prabang in Laos, some in the smarter parts of London’s Mayfair. I once spent the weekend on a boat on the South China Sea with a Playboy Miss April, who distinguished unselfconsciously between “jobs” and “f***-jobs”. I even know of a few women who, between alimony cheques, have occasionally turned a few tricks for men of their social acquaintance, whom they would not normally dream of charging for the privilege. And I know of one woman who charges her lawfully wedded husband for sex. Feminists used to say that marriage itself is prostitution and, to judge from the tabloid newspapers, in some cases it is.

From all this one thing stands out. Prostitutes vary enormously (as do punters) and so do their situations. Some are forced, more or less; others are not. Some are wretched; some seem content. And if there is no way that a man could find out reliably whether a woman is under duress, then to prosecute him for his ignorance is in effect to trump up charges against him. It is unmistakably unfair.

When confronted on Radio 4’s Today programme by this knockdown argument, Smith repeatedly ignored it; she said instead – and irrelevantly – “I’ll tell you what I think is more unfair and that’s that there are women in this country who are effectively held in slavery.” That is a perfect example of what used to be called female argument – irrelevant, emotional and beside the point.

Once again this government is trying to override common sense, human nature and personal freedom in the interests of a policy not fit for purpose. Judging by Smith and Harman, if there’s one thing worse than the man in Whitehall who knows best, it’s the woman in Whitehall who knows best.

The live and let live society that once prevailed here has very much changed since women got control of things. Some would say it has disappeared completely.

Finally, consider the psychopathic tendencies I posted about previously. I do believe Smith and Harman display them. Clinton most definitely does – look at her manufactured waterworks during the primaries.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy_Checklist-Revised

Factor1: “Aggressive narcissism”

  • Glibness/superficial charm
  • Grandiose sense of self-worth
  • Pathological lying
  • Cunning/manipulative
  • Lack of remorse or guilt
  • Shallow affect
  • Callous/lack of empathy
  • Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
  • Promiscuous sexual behavior

Enough for now.

AJ

November 22, 2008

Non-specific all pervading anger…

Maybe it’s because I drank far too much last night and have a 5 o’clock shadow. On my tongue.

Maybe it’s because I haven’t taken my medication today, and the nurse put my straitjacket on too tightly.

Maybe it’s because this country is full of the most odious and stupid people it is possible to herd together.

Maybe it’s because this country is being run by a bunch of communist porridge wogs. Because the odious and stupid voted for these authoritarian, egregious, hypocritical ringpieces.

Maybe it’s because I’m sick to fucking death of the state coercing me, marginalising me, extorting money from me, and then failing to provide any semblance of a service back to me.

Maybe it’s because the only apparent alternative is to vote for a public school pillock who’s as right-on as any of these Labour fucks, with his wind turbine and his cycle helmet. Anyway, it appears that the principal qualification for being a political leader of any hue these days is proving your genetic inadequacy beyond all doubt by squeezing out a spasticated child then using it as a electoral selling point.

Maybe it’s because my main hope for getting back onto the property ladder has been wiped out by the current financial fuckduggery that Gordon Brown has brought upon us. By some oddity, I now appear to own twice as much of Royal bank of Scotland as I did 3 months ago (even though the government is holding the asset for me), but it’s also worth square-root of fuck all.

Maybe it’s because I promised myself I would avoid using the word ‘cunt’ on this blog, yet I’ve never felt it more apposite.

Oh I can’t be bothered. I’m going to work on my list.

AJ

October 3, 2008

Thought Crimes Against Pop Stars

I read this with a certain amount of interest, since the idea of butchering Girls Aloud, for their crimes against just about everything, holds an undeniable allure.

Civil servant in court over Girls Aloud ‘porn blog’

Newcastle upon Tyne A civil servant is being prosecuted for the alleged publication of a blog detailing the kidnap, torture, mutilation and murder of the pop band Girls Aloud.

In what may be a test case, Darryn Walker, 35, is accused of writing and then posting the allegedly obscene article on a fantasy porn website. Headlined “Girls (Scream) Aloud”, the blog is understood to have run to 12 pages and allegedly described the rape and killing of the bandmates.

I’ve not read this guy’s ‘work’. Okay, it doesn’t sound particularly tasteful and I’m sure it would be fair to assume that some would, and do, find it offensive. However, you don’t need to be Sigmund Freud to know that rape is not an uncommon feature of sexual fantasies – womens’ too.

Nor do you need to have the fearsome interrogative mind of a top QC to make the argument that thought and word are NOT deed. Men and women alike will have sexual fantasies that they wouldn’t ever want to put into real life: Just as we may daydream about pushing that wanker of a manager at work out of an 8th floor window. However, no rational person would (or should) think that the satisfaction of the notion would translate into the actual deed – if you were to rape, injure or kill, obviously there’d be the shock, horror, pain and misery, to say nothing of the legal consequences. The supposed thrill of the deed wouldn’t get a look in with the sane person.

Next, according to The Times the offending text was on a fantasy porn website. So, in fairness, it wasn’t going to turn up on the web browser of any child whose parents had fulfilled their responsibility to properly manage their child’s internet use. Nor, for that matter, would it turn up anywhere else that you weren’t looking for fantasy porn.

So this starts to have the scent of a crusade by a self-appointed guardian. Ah yes, here it comes:

The blog was brought to its attention by the Internet Watch Foundation, an organisation that polices potentially obscene material.

The digital manifestation of Mary Whitehouse has it’s beak in this affair. This is a self-regulating charitable organisation, whose listings are provided to internet filtering software companies. These companies create software and internet access devices used to protect children and organisations by blocking unsuitable web content. The upshot is that if your site ends up on their list, access to it will be blocked for millions of people around the world. In fact, according to this IWF press release, BT broadband customers are blocked from viewing IWF listed content at the ISP. No choice for consenting adults. BT stops what IWF says it should stop. I don’t know if this is across the board or an opt-in service, but since I wouldn’t give a penny to BT anyway, I have no need of finding out.

But I digress. While this control over content is fine and good if the site is truly guilty of providing unsuitable content and the audience has to be protected for legal, moral or ethical reasons in the case of children and employees, where is the due process and the scrutiny? The IWF are judge, jury and executioner, with no accountability to parliament or the public. So what happens if a site is wrongly listed by them? I don’t know but I would think it time to get a new URL and a new web provider.

If you graze the IWF site, you will see that their prima facie purpose is to fight child pornography. Who could argue with that!? But what, then, are they doing precipitating the prosecution of a person writing a fantasy story about torturing a group of adult females whose dreary and annoying existences have been thrust upon the public consciousness? Where’s the kiddie porn in that?

On the other hand, according to the article, this man is (or was) a civil servant. In which case, the salient question must be, did he in any sense work on this on company time i.e. OUR TIME? Hang the civil servant, but for what he does, not what he thinks or writes.

AJ

Quick update – I just refreshed that Times article to see the latest comments and the comment section has been completely removed from beneath this story. The early ones were uniformly along the lines of the above.

September 28, 2008

It’s all about global war, Ming.

Well now,

If we’re (stupid enough) to believe what the gubnment and the BBC tell us, we need to be saving the planet. Because we can’t assume that it managed just fine for the millions of years before we got here. That climate activity through the warm periods and the ice ages was all caused by burning fossil fuels. Because pteradons flew Lear Jets and stegasaurus drove HumVees. Colossal existential wipeouts were caused more by Easyjet than by asteroids & meteors, cosmic radiation fluctuations, castrophic volcanic episodes, reversals of the Earths magnetic poles etc.

So, obviously I’m doing my bit for the planet.

  • By disposing of all my household waste in a garden incinerator, and needless to say it’s not because the council are theiving tossers who dress up service cutbacks as environmental initiatives, thereby not emptying my friggin’ bin.
  • I also fly to the other end of the UK frequently, sometimes for a single 1 hour meeting. This obviously cuts down on road and rail congestion as well as freeing up internet bandwidth that would have been ringfenced for video-conferencing.
  • When I work from home, I run my car’s engine for an hour, to do my bit for the economy and the profitability of the oil companies and the government.
  • I admonish my guests for closing the doors or turning off lights when they leave rooms.
  • I run the aircon with the windows open.
  • The gas fire too. Sometimes as well as the aircon.

Arrrrggghhh. Just because all these interfering fuckers, with their sanctimonious proclaimations and injunctions, need to just leave me the fuck alone.

I never thought I’d find myself agreeing with this wittering bint, but in this case, I do.

I feel bad that maybe I’m not doing enough. But then it occurred to me – I’m doing more than most. I’m not having children. That’s about as environmentally friendly as it gets. Putting less people on earth does far more to prevent global warming than buying organic blueberries.

Sadly, there’s a mistake in her sidebar, where it says:

she writes a humorous weekly column, Cassandra.

I won’t hold it against her.

I bet she doesn’t even know that there’s a whole organisation behind her cause:

Phasing out the human race by voluntarily ceasing to breed will allow Earth’s biosphere to return to good health. Crowded conditions and resource shortages will improve as we become less dense.

Sounds good to me. Especially the bit about becoming less dense.

In the meantime, a nod to a couple of sites doing sterling work of opposing the Church of Anthropogenic Global Warming.

http://antigreen.blogspot.com/ – not exactly balanced, but I like it.

A Hot Topic Blog – There’s something beautiful about the footer of this site, where it saysMade on a Mac- using the lentilists’ own weapons against them.

AJ

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