Brown’s Britain leading the way out of recession. Not.

Obliged to Guido for this handy illustration of the UK’s relative economic performance in Q3 2009:

Which means that Britain [is the] Only G7 Nation Still in Recession.

Go Gordon, go.

AJ

LOLLAGE…

Apparently, Labour winning a by-election in one of their safest seats, in Scotland at that, is a “dramatic victory”.. LMAO

Low-expectation-having motherfuckers.

Speaking on BBC Radio Scotland, the Scottish Secretary also claimed Labour’s victory was "an endorsement of Gordon Brown and what he is trying to do".

That can’t possibly reflect well on the people of Glasgow, then.

But it does confirm that Labour is truly the party of the delusional.

AJ

Brown’s Condolence Letter…

I’ve been thinking about this, wavering between ‘so what’ and ‘disrespectful cunt’.

After due consideration, I find myself in agreement with Obo, who’s thought the whole chain of events through well indeed.

Once again …

Click through to read the whole post, but the observation that really struck at the heart of the matter for me, is that Brown’s position seems to be that it’s everyone else’s fault that they can’t read his handwriting. He actually phoned up this grieving mother to try to shift the blame away from himself, rather than just being a man, fessing up and apologising for his thoughtlessness (and, some hope, his inhumanity).

Let’s just look at all the ways that this is wrong:

• he apologises, not for the fuckups he made, but for the implication that she feels he shouldn’t have written to her at all
• it’s not directly related to the problem, it’s the usual Brownian motion to deflect criticism by turning it into an implication of failure or spite by the person having a go at him
• he doesn’t accept that she has any reason to be angry

It’s his standard technique from PMQs. I’m surprised he didn’t add something like "I won’t take any lessons from someone who supported the illegal adventure in the Falklands".

He’s a fist chewing liability to the UK within and without. And he wrote a book about Courage? Fuck that.

AJ

UPDATE: Constantly Furious brings a couple of important points to the discussion:

Surely somebody must have been on hand to have a glance at these letters before they went out?

In fact, it turns out that Brown had a photocopy of the letter to hand when he called Mrs Janes. Did he photocopy it with his own foul hand? I think not.

Or perhaps there was, and perhaps there’s such a culture of fear and bullying in the bunker that no-one dared say anything, for fear of spending the rest of the day in A&E having fragments of a Nokia phone picked out of their skulls.

Ah yes… but back to the nub:

However, what is not acceptable, what is unforgivable, is Brown’s attitude when he made a mistake, crossed it out, and carried on with the letter.
If you cross something out, you know you’ve made a mistake. That’s why you fucking cross it out. So at that point, regardless of whether he knew about the other spelling mistakes, Brown should have screwed up the letter and started again.

For fucks sake, you don’t send any note out with crossings-out. If you’re writing a fucking sick note to excuse a child from games and you make a mistake, you start again, never mind a letter to a bereaved mother.

I’d call it case closed.

Emotional incontinence…

I’m upset at you being upset, and that upsets me.. bah.. you pussified bitch-assed motherfuckers…

Vis. Broon’s cack-handed attempt at a letter of condolence:

Asked about the controversy, Ed Miliband, the Energy Secretary, told the BBC that Mr Brown would be horrified at having caused offence.

"I think anyone who sees Mrs Janes’s upset will very much regret what she is feeling," said Mr Miliband. "And I’m sure the Prime Minister will feel that he intended to offer her some little comfort at the most difficult time for her. I’m sure he will be very upset himself at the upset she’s feeling."

Jesus Titty-Twisting Christ people. These fuckwits are supposed to be running the country. The country that they have managed to seriously fuck up, during their thirteen year Laurel and Hardy telethon of doom.

And as for Ed Bonzodogdoodahband, I think he’d make a brilliant leader of the Labour Party garden gnome.

If he’s a man, then I’m a Klingon warrior with an MBA from U.Bogota and a white tiger called ICanHasSiegfried…

AJ

Tuneless Felching Gimps to Win X-Factor. Simon Cowell to get AIDS…

Who knew Jonah could come in handy?

AJ

H/T SteveShark

Splendid News…

I’m much obliged to Rab, for this splendifery:

Full story here.

And as I’m going to be in Yorkshire that day, I’ll see if I can make it up there to join these marvellous festivities.

AJ

Timing of the next general election…

So, we’ve had Q3 GDP results around 23rd October. The (as below) inflated Q4 figures will, I suppose appear around 23th Jan 2010. These should be (falsely) encouraging. I expect Gordo anticipates this will be a good (least worst) time to be launching an election campaign.

If I’m right about the negative results likely in Q1 2010, these will appear around 23rd April 2010. But by then, we’ll have long since had enough corporate Q1 results to know that things are grim.

So Gordo’s window for launching a campaign and holding an election is from 23rd January until roughly 15th April (year end returns will be known for a lot of firms) when corporate results start seeping out prior to full ONS GDP results on 23rd April.

So, announce an election, and launch a campaign on 25th Jan. ‘Good’ economic news from Q4 gets Gordo off to a (falsely) encouraging start. He’ll be planning as long and tortuous a campaign as possible, because he’ll want maximum opportunities for the Dib Lems and Blue Labour to fuck up. As I’ve said before, Gordo really has nothing to lose.

All these things considered, I reckon if Gordo remains in charge, we’re looking at an 8th April election.

We shall see.

AJ

Dip once in the ass, and once in the mouth…

Murmurings abound about a ‘double dip’ recession.

Recent economic figures caused much consternation, if little surprise.

Now, Brown’s saying we’ll be back in growth by the end of 2009:

And here’s where the much anticipated double dip will enter it’s second phase of decline.

For the nation as a whole, it has been a year of shitty news on the economy, hectoring from the state about every damned thing we do, utter desperation about the state of education, the NHS, justice, law & order and the ghastly corruption, venality and greed of our elected ‘representatives’. Faith in democracy is draining away. People are fucking pissed off. Depressed. Deprived of joy.

In the meantime, a bunch of people have moved onto tracker mortgages at tasty rates, freeing up disposable income (but not for paying down capital, natch).

In this society, many people acquire and consume goods as an abstract pursuit. An end in itself, which satiates psychological needs imbued by aggressive and invasive advertising. Tis a given, right?

These factors combined with the continuing availability of (not cheap) credit cards will fuel a Christmas consumer binge. We know that much of the economic growth in the last 10 years has been driven by insane consumerism. This binge will drag the economy back on to an upward trajectory. But only for Q4 ‘09.

In January, we’ll all sober up from our binge, open our bank statements and discover we’re gonna have to eat tinned beans on Tesco value toast until payday.

At which point the economy falls back into diminution. Brown’s getting on with the job of taking the tough decisions and, wait.. what?  just fuck off, you shameful bunch of nation-wrecking cunts.

Oh and it wouldn’t be the first time Gordo’s economic snake-oil has given us a W-shaped graph.

Although now that I think about it, rather than a W, it looks like a pair of tits, doesn’t it?

AJ

Let the bad times roll…

Brown’s already been talking about “Labour economic recovery.”

Ho hum.

AJ

Cameron’s bottling it? Bollocks he is. This is a classic Brown stitch-up.

The lefties are spinning that Cameron is backing out of his commitment to a live TV debate with Brown.

@JohnPrescott: Now he’s bottling the TV debates should we call him David Camera-off? Empty seat him

After only a few weeks of negotiations, David Cameron has rejected the idea of a series of debates between all three party leaders, The Sunday Telegraph has learned.

Gordon Brown has proposed up to six debates while the Liberal Democrats are demanding three three-way debates.

Both Labour and the Liberal Democrats are accusing the Tory leader of "backing down" after months of calling for a television debate.

So far, it’s an open and shut case. Right? Wrong…

Mr Cameron has proposed the most slimline option, involving one debate with all three leaders. But Mr Brown has told broadcasters he wants at least six.

Brown insists on six. You don’t need me to tell you how intransigent, unreasonable and calculating Brown is.

He and Mr Cameron would go head to head in one, Mr Brown would face Nick Clegg, the Liberal Democrat leader, in another while Mr Cameron would face Mr Clegg in a third. Then there would be three more debates between Mr Brown and Mr Cameron focused on a different issue each time, such as the economy.

See, I may not be in the premiership of politics junkies, but I play enthusiastically in the lower leagues. And here’s the rub:

I don’t want to see 6 debates. I won’t watch 6 debates. And if I did, I’d be sick to death of all three of these muppets. So you’d be lucky to persuade the millions of marginalised and detached Joe Publics to watch even the one debate.

And that’s Brown’s game. Cameron knows the dangers, Brown has nothing to lose. Clegg has everything to gain by a one-on-one with Brown.

This is about Brown derailing the whole shebang and blaming it on the Tories.

And for Brown’s camp to be brandishing terms like ‘bottled’ in relation to Cameron are so ludicrous as to be hilarious. We all remember the election that never was.

Just more evidence that the likes of Prescott are just in a different plain of existence, where the sky is quite different to the one here on Earth.

AJ

Gordo suffers dormitory flashbacks as mums harass him about biscuits…

I know why he kept tight lipped…

AJ

Wot ‘e said…

Is precisely what I thought when I read this:

Is the Brown bottler going to do a runner? Is this the spadework for a departure on "health grounds"?

Mr Brown visited Moorfields in London, one of the world’s best-known eye hospitals, after surgeons found two small tears in his retina.

If it is, then I’m surprised. I would have thought the fat cunt would have left it until the day before the election to announce this. Because, really, he doesn’t give a flying fuck about the party or anything other than his own fucking ego, does he? He’s going to hang on to the very fucking last moment that he can, then bottle out with some excuse so that he can ride out looking for the sympathy vote.

Well fuck him.

I hope gets face cancer the day he resigns.

Amen brother.

AJ

Hail to Billy Hague…

Shamelessly pinched from today’s splendid and commended post by Mummylonglegs.

A genuinely laugh-out-loud performance.

AJ

A thought experiment…

What would be the impact on the Tory party conference if Gordo were to announce tomorrow evening that he’s stepping down and triggering a leadership contest?

I think it’d sink the Tory conference, in terms of media coverage, and turn the focus back upon Labour and the chance to pick a new leader to take them into the election. Fresh geysers of hope would be tapped amongst the unwashed and Labour faithful.

No one would be listening to the Tories then. Especially not those who only crossed over to the blue side because of Brown.

Hmmm.

AJ

What’s good for the Gord is good for the Gander…

Boo Hoo, Gordo. You cunt. If you’d just go the fuck away… we’d leave your sorry arse alone. Maybe.

Picking on somebody isn’t necessarily shan, but it can become so. It doesn’t just mean “cruel”. It carries connotations of unfairness and of moral wrongness. There is a suggestion in there that in any reasonable person what is going on should arouse compassion. Shan is what we are being to Gordon Brown. We’re bullying him. It bothers me.

In terms of the things I write (and, indeed, the thing I’m planning to write tomorrow) I’m probably on dodgy ground here. But mockery and bullying, I’ve always thought, are different things. I worry that we, the British press, bloggers, ultimately the British public, are moving from one to the other.

I started thinking it last weekend when Andrew Marr asked the PM, effectively, if he was on antidepressants. Setting aside the curious assumption in the question (that if we did have a depressed PM, it would somehow be better if he wasn’t taking anything), you have to wonder what Marr hoped to gain by asking it. It wasn’t as if Mr Brown was going to break down there and then, Nixon-style, and confess everything. It wasn’t even as if Marr was after an answer at all. He just wanted to ask the question. He just wanted to land a kick on the fat kid because all the other kids were kicking the fat kid and he wanted to be the one to make him fall over.

Boo Hoo Gordo.

Listen Hugo Rifkind, you can’t understand the animus that Brown and his posse have provoked in England, because you’re not on the negative end of a democratic deficit, and nor are you on the negative end of the Barnett formula. As such, you are not qualified to fucking comment, so shove your caber up your arse and fuck off back to your porridge cave.

Bullying has been the M.O. of this government certainly since 2001, if not before.

We have to report annually to the state that nothing has changed. On pain of fines or other penalties.

We can’t smoke. We’re hectored about drinking and diet. Recycling, speeding, seat belts, pollution, flying, composting. We are denormalised. We are harassed and fined by ignorant power-crazed zealots, in uniforms that didn’t exist 10 years ago. Everywhere we go, we face directives framed in bullying terms; signs, announcements, admonishments.

It’s not a fair fight between me and the state.

I don’t do victim culture, so I can’t say I feel bullied. But I do feel cowed, and when I feel cowed, the moment for a fight back (even an unfair and unethical one) is at the forefront of my mind.

So, Gordo, you’re either going home before the election, or your going home in a doggie bag, you evil, devious, miserable, sanctimonious, unworldly, pant-pissing, porridge dribbling cuntbasket.

Finally, I’ve read a few books about Brown, and I can say with confidence that accusing anyone of bullying Gordon Brown doesn’t really understand what a nasty and unscrupulous cunt he is. He deserves every last morsel of hatred that is flung in his direction.

Now fuck off.

AJ

UPDATE: Dick Puddlecote has weighed in, providing some much needed links to examples of the bully state that I’m referring to. Not that there’s any shortage of material in my own archive…

Even in the death throes of a discredited and widely despised administration, the clunking fist of state threats continue, and even extend further, as they plead with other countries to join in the bullying of the British public if the particular freedom is out of their direct control.

What’s more, this attitude has created a disease amongst the previously quiet bitterness-peddlers whereby every arrogant cunt with a superiority complex is now heavily encouraged to treat their fellow citizens with contempt and mistrust.
This Labour government has become evil beyond compare, and still can’t see the lasting damage to society that they have created.

Empowered by an administration which has lorded the playground and singled out groups for insults and condescension, every small-minded curtain-twitcher and selfish, holier-than-thou cunt has crawled out from under their particular rock and spilt forth their bile on those that Labour have deemed as unworthy.

…

The innocent are considered guilty, the victimised are told to just accept it or be prosecuted, while those who created this country of ire and misery refuse to accept any kind of criticism.

When faced with a bully and his weasel cohorts in a playground, the best way of disabling them is to hit back hard against the bully-in-chief.

You ARE that head bully, Brown. The only thing that would make me think you didn’t deserve to have your life utterly destroyed would be if you were to admit that you and your disgusting, vindictive, spiteful party have institutionalised hate and that you are abjectly sorry for it.

You not only won’t do that, you actually still perpetuate the myth that you are somehow respectable members of society. Your congratulation of your fellow bullies in your Labour Conference speech was staggering and nauseating at the same time. You have no remorse, which is why the justified payback you are now receiving is perfectly fair.

You talk of tackling anti-social behaviour? There is only one group which should be tackled in this respect. That is the Labour party and their destruction of morals, respect for others, and tolerance.

What goes around, comes around. Live with it.

Indeed.

Don’t be givin’ me evils…

Gordo experiences a Blue Screen of Doom.

AJ

Laugh while you can…

 

… because the boot will be on the other foot soon enough.

AJ

Striking the Brown Note…

Yesterday the criminally deranged Labia faithful were crowing about cutting the Tory lead to 7% in the You Gov daily poll.

Today, that lead is back to 14pts… lol.. way to lift your party out of it’s slump, Gordon you feckless Scotch monomongulate. Fuck off back to Kirkcunty and give us our country back.

Not that I’m predicting it will happen, but the Tories probably want that lead to be circa 22% next week.

AJ

Monocular Mentalist Telly Tantrum…

Belatedly reposted.. H/T The entire blogojobbie…

Via Obo:

Doesn’t need the psycho soundtrack, does it?

Via Dizzy, this, showing the Prime Mentalist storming off set:

And Guido’s version, featuring the newsreader’s reaction at the end…

The man has a rare talent for video nasties, doesn’t he?

Smart… he’s gonna break up before our very eyes over the next few months, so that we’ll fucking know he’s gone.

AJ

Gordon’s not going to make it to the election…

This all serves to make the prospect of televised debates most delicious…

It continues…

He said Boulton, Sky’s political editor, seemed to “obsess” about the Labour leadership and snapped: “You have not given me the chance to talk about the economy.”

Mr Brown’s angry morning was fuelled by learning that The Sun has withdrawn its support for Labour. Today, during a round of interviews on Sky, GMTV and the BBC, he kept complaining he was not being allowed to make his case or answer questions in full.

Asked about a comment from Lord Mandelson that the public could not see through a “filter” at the Prime Minister’s real character, Mr Brown commented acidly: “He was probably talking about the media.”

At the end of his Sky interview, the Prime Minister looked furious when the cameras turned off and he tried to walk away. However, he still had a microphone clipped on and did not realise he was supposed to remain in the same seat for his next interview, this time with the BBC’s Sian Williams. Mr Brown complained to Boulton: “Look, Adam, we are going through a recession — I don’t think you asked about that at all.”

Asked to guarantee he would not step down as Premier before the election, he said tersely: “I have got a job to do and that’s the job I’m going to do.”

The retirement on health grounds is looking more and more certain. He just isn’t up to the punishment he’s going to rightly receive over the next 9 months.

AJ