Nanny in the workplace

After some soul-destroying M25 hell today, I arrived a customer site for a meeting. Before I’d even got to the meeting room, I had been bombarded by impertinent questions, dubious imperatives and dodgy advice.

I arrived and parked up. I went for a piss, went for coffee then went upstairs to the meeting. It more or less went in this order:

  • Reversing into parking spaces is mandatory.
  • What colour is your piss? Are you drinking enough?
  • Have you had a prostate exam recently?
  • Here’s how to wash your hands.
  • Have you washed your hands?
  • Drink Smart – drink water, not fizzy drinks.
  • Drugs are illegal, but talking about them isn’t. Ask Frank.
  • It’s National Vegetarian Week. How will you be celebrating? Take a leaflet to find out.
  • Start a good habit today. Use the stairs. Be Fit For Work.
  • Hold the handrail.
  • Here’s how to blow your nose. Put the tissue in a green bin.

I wanted to throw everyone in the room out of a window.

Obviously too many women working at that company.

AJ

Transparency: You’re doing it wrong

Your data isn’t safe in the hands of HMRC. Previously, they lost confidential details of 25 million people.

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Around 19,000 individuals were sent other people’s personal information in the post along with their annual award notice.

They each received one page of someone else’s tax credit renewal form which included a variety of different personal details.

These included names, addresses and dates of birth, as well as parts of bank account numbers, salary details and National Insurance numbers.

Another 31,000 people received the correct forms, although they were jumbled up in the mail-out, which started on Saturday.

One woman from Hyde in Greater Manchester said she had received a letter that included her neighbour’s earnings.

Geniuses. They JUST DON’T CARE about the actual and potential damage they do.

AJ

Just a picture

That’s all.

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Isn’t it beautiful?

AJ

And here’s another one.

H/T To Bucko in the comments of the last post:

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A WOMAN who told police she had been ‘violently raped’ has admitted she was lying.

Elizabeth Wilkinson, 20, of Skipton Old Road, Foulridge, pleaded guilty to perverting the course of justice after claiming she had been sexually attacked by man at his house in Colne last September.

As a result of her allegation a 22-year-old man was arrested and interviewed at Burnley station as police detectives launched an investigation into what they described as a ‘horrific attack’.

“This is a life-changing offence and is treated as such. In making this false allegation Elizabeth Wilkinson has undermined the genuine victims of this horrific crime.

“An innocent man lost his liberty and has suffered considerable emotional distress as a result of her lies.”

Wilkinson will appear at Burnley Crown Court for sentencing on Friday July 30.

I hope you hear Big Susan calling you from H block, Elizabeth.

AJ

Anonymity for those accused of rape: One good reason right here.

Re this, you might well expect feminist harridans to be up in arms. You’d not be disappointed.

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No sooner have I left a left a comment under her blogpost, than a perfect illustration presents itself:

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A 21-year-old woman drove a man to suicide by crying rape and forced a second innocent man to consider taking his own life after falsely accusing him of a similar sex attack.

Despite being exposed in court as a serial liar, the law means the woman cannot be identified and can hide behind the cloak of anonymity.

A jury took just 45 minutes to clear medical student Olumide Fadayomi, 27, of rape and several jurors at Sheffield Crown Court broke down in tears when the judge then revealed the ‘victim’s’ history of crying rape.

And in an emerging theme, the CPS are also left looking like pig-ignorant vindictive functionaires.

Judge Patrick Robertshaw launched an astonishing attack on Crown Prosecution Service lawyers for making Fadayomi stand trial, simply to abide by the woman’s wishes.

He said:’The evidence did not, and was never going to, prove rape. The prime overriding consideration in the CPS’s decision had been merely that the complainant wished the case to go ahead.

‘It was little short of a craven abdication of responsibility for making an independent and fair minded assessment of the case.

‘It is quite astonishing these decisions are made by those who simply do not have experience of what happens in Crown Court because they never come into Crown Court. They sit behind desks and make decisions that result in this sort of trial taking place.’

You do surprise me. Not.

Meantime, Ms Williams, untwist your knickers, wake up and smell the coffee. Or pipe down.

AJ

Meanwhile, outside the bubble

Hilary is hand-bagging Pyongyang.

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Oh good.

Music to my ears

It’s like an a capella rendering of purgatory, performed entirely by the public sector.

The strained falsetto is achieved by clasping their bollocks between two housebricks.

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Splendid. Next.

Oh – here are some tools you may find useful, George:

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Glad to be of service.

AJ

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