Al Jahom’s Final Word

November 28, 2009

Bizarre fetishes…

Filed under: Choons, Random Shit, Rare insights — Al Jahom @ 11:59 pm

I don’t know why.

I don’t like Martha Wainwright’s songs or music. This is an understatement.

I don’t like Edith Piaf’s voice. This is an understatement.

But this is my favourite album of the moment:

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It just works.

The title comes from track 6 on the download (CD, whatever), Les Grognards. In this context, it seems grognard means ‘old guard’. Anyway, it turns out they’re the grenadiers, who lack grenades, guns and shoes. Anyway, they’re fucking everyone’s day up by marching to Paris.

Typical French.

A live intro from Jools:

AJ

Next week: Gwar re-interpret Kraftwerk.

Climategate set to scupper Barry’s cap & trade scam…

I’ve been quietly observing the aftermath of the release of thousands of emails from Hadley CRU.

For brevity, some bloggers who have been covering this are:

I’ve not said much about this, because after the stampede of AGW lunacy over the last few years, it seemed too good to be true, to think that the house of cards was about to collapse.

It was entirely conceivable that the whole debate would become about whether or not the emails and data were all genuine and unmodified, and whether we were interpreting private communications fairly.

Happily, it no longer seems to matter. The smoking gun is on its 3rd carton of untipped Gauloises, and powerful people are shouting FIRE!

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Just a few considerations in addition to previous remarks about the explosion of the East Anglia Climategate e-mails in America. The reaction is growing exponentially there. Fox News, Barack Obama’s Nemesis, is now on the case, trampling all over Al Gore’s organic vegetable patch and breaking the White House windows. It has extracted some of the juiciest quotes from the e-mails and displayed them on-screen, with commentaries. Joe Public, coast-to-coast, now knows, thanks to the clowns at East Anglia’s CRU, just how royally he has been screwed.

Senator James Inhofe’s Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works has written to all the relevant US Government agencies, acquainting them with the nature of the e-mails. But the real car crash for Obama is on Capitol Hill where it is now confidently believed his Cap and Trade climate legislation is toast. It was always problematic; but with a growing awakening to the scale of the scientific imposture sweeping the world, as far as the Antipodes, the clever money is on Cap and Trade laws failing to pass, with many legislators sceptical and the mid-term elections looming ever closer.

Do read on

AJ

Live the dream…

Filed under: Larf, WTF? — Al Jahom @ 5:53 pm

Having looked on agog, as I drove past this place yesterday, it simply cannot go unremarked up on.

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What really attracted my attention was this, displayed in the window:

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Yep – it’s time to live that muthafuckin dream.

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But if the £800 asking price is a bit steep for you, why not try the good guys?

Obi Wanky Noby:

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Nope? Han Solo?

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I can see you’re not convinced. Back to the dark side then and another £800…

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Wait.. what about Princess Leia…?

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Yes. I’ll take 2 of those, I think.

AJ

More plod hubris unfolds…

Not really a surprise.

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The story begins this July when photographer Alex Turner was stopped whilst taking snaps in Chatham High St and approached by two men, who refused to identify themselves, but demanded that he show them some ID. When he refused, they called for back-up. A PCSO and WPC arrived: Turner took a photo of the pair, and was promptly arrested.

He was then handcuffed, held in a police van for 20 minutes, searched in public by plain clothes officers before being released. It remains unclear, both from from his own account and from subsequent police explanations, exactly why he was arrested – although he did note at the time that the WPC stated she had felt threatened by his size – 5′ 11" and about 12 stone – and implied that she found it intimidating.

Mr Turner complained: a police internal investigation was carried out; and this week, the Investigating Officer (IO) finally got back to him with the very welcome news that, according to their barrister, his arrest was unlawful.

This would therefore render both the subsequent search unlawful as well as Mr Turner’s detention in a police van.

Read on…

AJ

Enjoy your pain, you twat…

Filed under: Motoring, No Sympathy Week — Al Jahom @ 5:28 pm

Yeah – I did wonder why I sat in traffic for an hour on the M4 at 21:00 last night.

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Why can’t people keep their fucking jalopy pieces of shit on the road? It’s a perfectly straight stretch of motorway for fuck’s sake. So either there was a mechanical failure (pikey cunt) or a driver error (total fuckwit).

AJ

Apple: Go Fuck Yourselves…

Filed under: Smoking, WTF? — Al Jahom @ 5:22 pm

Being a smoker can invalidate your Apple warranty, apparently.

I’m obliged to Leg-iron who has relived me of the occasional task of pining for a Macbook, by passing on this information.

It seems that if you own an Apple product and are a smoker, live with a smoker, get visited by a smoker or carry that product around anywhere anyone is smoking, it absorbs all the smoke and expels it in the face of any technician attempting a warranty repair.

So if you smoke, don’t buy any Apple products. The warranty is only for non-smokers.
I’d been wondering whether to try out either an iPhone or a Blackberry. Apple have just helped me decide.

Yeah – I was waiting for the iPhone to be available on Vodafone in January. Don’t think I’ll bother now.

Dicks.

AJ

Hey, Harman! Leave them bitches alone…

A common sense voice, that is very much akin to the opinions of most women of my acquaintance. Perhaps a self-selecting sample, what with my lack of time for ‘wimmin’, but there we are.

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Gordon Brown, bless him, can’t see a supposed inequality without passing a law. It’s sweet, in a way, that he’s so concerned with protecting everyone who is not a white, middle-aged Scottish bloke. He could, hand in hand with Harriet Harman, skip all the way to Edinburgh if Labour’s equality measures were laid end to end from Westminster to Holyrood.

But enough. No more laws. No more quangos, or panels, or equality drives. Women are doing OK. We do not need the patronising wing of the State to shelter us from the nasty men any more.

Harriet Harman and her brand of 1970s feminists continue to dominate the debate. Look, Harriet, we’re very, very grateful for everything your generation did for us, but it’s our turn now. Renounce the title Minister for Women — I do not need special pleading, and you do not speak for me.

Yet she keeps speaking for me; foisting equality on me like unwelcome warts.

And therein lies the problem. If the government’s words and deeds communicate to whatsoever sector of society that they are victims, said sector of society largely accepts the status foisted upon them. It’s effectively the same technique as deployed in denormalisation. Or to put it more simply, if you treat people like victims, they’ll act like victims. Next they’ll demand that you respect them. They have to demand it because no-one would voluntarily respect these shameless celebrants of victimhood.

And that is why Harman’s antics have to stop. See?

Women run countries and boardrooms, even newspapers. How can we possibly term ourselves victims any more?

Only when it suits us to keep playing the victim. The Employment Tribunal Service dealt with 7,280 sex discrimination complaints from women in 1999, compared with 18,637 last year, and 26,907 the year before that. Are men getting more discriminating while we get better at complaining? Or, perhaps, we are just using the complex web of discrimination legislation to take our employers to the cleaners?

Perhaps. Do you think?

The women’s movement once rang with the rhetoric of sisterhood. If there is such a thing any more, it is being betrayed by false claimants and the champions of excessive equality legislation. Women who use sex discrimination laws to excuse their own incompetence, and wring cash out of their employers, are little better than those who falsely cry rape. It belittles the genuine cases and endangers the whole enterprise of women’s liberation. Our equality is hard won and precious. The best way to squander our victory is to make it ever harder to hire women and perpetuate the victim myth.

What? Unintended consequences of well meaning (!!) Labour policies? It could never happen.

AJ

More fuel for the double-dip fire…

Filed under: Crudit Crench, WTF?, Waste of our Money — Al Jahom @ 5:06 pm

Not uniquely amongst bloggists, in my capacity as armchair economist I have predicted that the UK economy, even if it grows in Q4 2009, will contract again in Q1 2010.

The first ingredient added to my conjecture was evidence of a Q4 consumer boom based on ill-founded optimism.

The other thing I should have mentioned at that time was that VAT goes back up to 17.5% on January 1st 2010. If we are to believe the evidence suggesting that the reduction to 15% boosted the economy, why would we not also conclude that the increase will damage the economy, which is really in no better shape than it was 12 months ago?

This week, in the wake of Gordo handing them the kiss of death, Dubai’s national corporation look to be in trouble, unable to pay the interest (never mind repaying the fucking capital!) on their $60BILLION debt.

I have written previously about why I dislike Dubai – basically because it’s a society based on Islamist principles, that has somehow managed to gull thousands of westerners into thinking they’ll be just fine and don’t need to worry about the appalling and atavistic justice system that exists in Dubai.

Alas, my instinctive schadenfreude is pissed all over when I read this:

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Which means that we’re going to get reamed again, and the already infinitesimal chances of my RBS shares ever recovering are now so small that even the LHC won’t fucking find them.

Oh well. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we face penury.

Fucking socialists.

AJ

Nicked…

Filed under: Plod, Thicko Culture — Al Jahom @ 4:30 pm

Some things defy logical explanation. Until you reach the level of abstraction that says, “there’s a woman involved here, so logically, the inexplicable is about to occur”.

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One shouldn’t chortle, but I do, and I will. Annoyingly, it appears that this doesn’t interfere with her role as a senior police officer. WTF?

Ms Molloy was taken to a nearby police station and bailed pending further inquiries. She has not been suspended from her job.

A spokesman for Nottinghamshire Police confirmed that a 44-year-old woman was arrested in connection with the incident and had been bailed until February.

Look, they will say in justification, at her unpeckable record:

Ms Molloy is a long-serving officer with the force and heads up the offender management programme on its community engagement committee.

She also conducted a review of the county’s special constabulary in 2008.

She sounds like a petty bureaucrat to me, and a beneficiary of New Labia’s non-job creation schemes.

All this said, it’s wrong and gratuitous of me to play the bint card, as much as it amuses me. Not least because of things like this special episode of ‘just what were you thinking?’:

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And this, all too rare, example of a copper being told, ‘Actually, no. You can’t do whatever the fuck you like.’

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Anyway… plenty more stories of bent or broken coppers in the ether.

Don’t trust them. Don’t give them sweeping powers. Don’t have any contact with them if you can possibly avoid it.

AJ

November 27, 2009

City Shitting Bricks…

As if the Dubai problem isn’t giving the City enough of a headache, it looks like the communists have won control of financial services in Brussels.

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France has taken control of the EU’s key internal market and financial services job after a last-minute lobbying offensive from Nicolas Sarkozy in what will be seen as a huge blow for Britain’s Europe policy.

Michel Barnier, the French former foreign minister, was handed the full portfolio this morning despite intense British efforts to strip out financial services and give it to an economic liberal because of fears in the City of a new bout of regulation.

Ah well, at least we got to install an unelected chinless no-mark in the Foreign Minister role.

Amazingly, both Mandelson and Hague think Brown fucked it up. And he HAS fucked up.

Senior government figures including Lord Mandelson had argued that Britain should have held out for a key economic job in the new 27-member European Commission which was announced today. Instead the field was left clear for the French, Germans and Spanish.

William Hague, shadow foreign secretary, said the move was worrying for the future of the City: “We repeatedly warned the Government that going for the High Rep post and not a senior economic brief in the Commission could have worrying results. Once again Gordon Brown has put the next day’s headlines ahead of the long-term British national interest.”

Time for some bare-faced lies from Drowning Street:

Downing Street sources had insisted that they were fighting hard to stop financial services falling into French hands, at a time when key regulatory proposals on hedge funds, bank capital requirements and derivative trading are being prepared.

Chinnerous rack-ons Brown, you lying slithering cunt.

As an aside, Today, Constantly Furious reminds us, gold is worth $1164 an ounce. But in October 1998,

Brown offloaded our gold at a 20-year low in the market — its actually now known as the “Brown Bottom”. The average price received was $275 an ounce.

Back to the main story, and my favourite quote, from Dictator in Chief, complete and utter €unt, José Manuel Barroso.

Mr Barroso said: "I am confident I have assigned the right jobs to the right people. There were many requests but these were my choices alone," he said.

"I do not give portfolios to countries. I attribute them to individuals, to Europeans. I do not give portfolios to France, or Germany, or Britain or Italy. I give portfolios to people."

Oh, well that’s perfectly okay then. Quite fair, even handed and err…. completely undemocratic.

Cunts.

AJ

November 26, 2009

ROCK diversion…

Filed under: Choons — Al Jahom @ 10:21 pm

Please pull over to the side of your intertube and absorb this classic:

AJ

Suicide watch…

Eamonn Butler is the head of the Adam Smith Institute – a free-market think-tank.

But I’d not be surprised to hear that the Dignitas marketing folk were keen to retain his services.

I say this because, ever since I started reading this:

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I’ve been increasingly curious about their services.

It’s an unceasing catalogue of the things that Gordon Brown and his coterie of bastards has done to our country.

Oh sure, there’s not much in there that you couldn’t find on most libertarian blogs, but the sheer scale of their destruction wrought upon the fabric of our economy, society, liberty, privacy, justice system and democratic protections is breath-taking.

I may, in fact, never finish this book, because I decide that I want to live. On the other hand, I may neck a fistful of vallium and get it over with. The book, I mean.

AJ

John Prescott is a total and utter cunt…

Filed under: Motoring, Prescott — Al Jahom @ 7:04 pm

Just think of him, anytime you’re stuck on the M4 with the bus lane to your right, and will the day when the fat fucker’s heart explodes.

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AJ

November 25, 2009

Irons, hoovers, dishwashers reclassified as gadgets…

Filed under: Larf — Al Jahom @ 1:19 pm

For why?

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Well, if you can’t beat ‘em, and sadly you can’t.

AJ
Operator of a traditional household

November 24, 2009

Tee hee: @BevaniteEllie is in trouble…

Via Obo, I see that arch-moron Ellie Gellard (@BevaniteEllie), Labour’s officially endorsed airhead groupie, has been pulled up for joking, on Twatter, that it’d be funny if Thatcher tripped over a skateboard and fell down the stairs during the unveiling of her portrait at No.10.

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Let’s just clear one thing up: It WOULD be funny. I may need to change my pants afterwards.

But if I was an officially endorsed gumby of any political party, I wouldn’t be so fucking stupid as to make that sentiment public.

I therefore applaud Tory Bear for taking the vapid imbecile to task.

On the other hand, see here for my personal plans for revelry upon the deaths of Ms Gellard’s idols. And here for where you can stick any charges of hypocrisy.

AJ

Disclosure: I was blocked on Twatter by @BevaniteEllite several months ago, for tweeting her my favourite picture of Ed Balls gagging on a big black cock.

UPDATE: Dick Puddlecote provides a detailed set of reasons as to why it’s appropriate to dig at this Labour numpty – in short because it’s “her lot” who have spent the last 13 years making sure anyone who gave offence to anyone, however trivial or unintended, would be coruscated and/or brought before the law. So fuck them all.

DNA Harvesting…

We shouldn’t be surprised to read this, but it’s still depressing and infuriating as all hell.

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Officers will arrest individuals for "everything" because they then have to power to take DNA samples, even if they wouldn’t have been detained under other circumstances.

The Human Genetics Commission (HGC) warned the alarming practice, which was revealed by a retired senior police officer, was creating a "spiral of suspicion" over the DNA database.

Mr theClown recently posted about the rising costs and diminishing efficacy of the DNA database. It appears the HGC have noticed too.

The Commission, an independent Government advisory body, also questioned the effectiveness of the database in helping to solve crimes and called for a detailed examination of its success.

A public debate and proper scrutiny of the system was needed as there was "very little concrete evidence" as to how useful the database was in investigating crime.

Quite. Sickening. Cunts.

AJ

November 22, 2009

BNP shrewdly changing tack…

Filed under: BNP, Madness gone Politically Correct — Al Jahom @ 4:44 pm

The BNP appear to have a strategy. One that they can take forward with arm-in-arm with non-white Britons.

As I reported at the time, a few weeks back, Melanie Phillips made the point (in an excellent article I commend thoroughly) that BNP support is strongest:

in areas of high Pakistani and Bangladeshi concentration — but significantly, not where there are concentrations of Indians. Strikingly, BNP support actually falls away steeply in Afro-Caribbean areas.

Leading to the conclusion that:

The rise of Nick Griffin is intimately related to the unchecked march of Islamism in Britain.

So it is no surprise that he’s now decided that his enemy’s enemy can be his friend and he can capitalise on it, allowing him to (apparently) wash away the stigma of racism:

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And let’s face it, it’s not going to be difficult to rally support when you’re campaigning against the Islamification of Britain by people like Anjem Choudary.

AJ

Stuff I can’t bring myself to blog about…

 

The new EU roles and the Communist monkeys that have been plonked into them.

She began as an administrator for the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament, an organization so stupid even the Russians burst into laughter when its name was brought up. This was followed by a spell at the Central Council for Education and Training in Social Work, the institution which works hard to inculcate in our social workers incompetence, stupidity and political correctness. Then she hopped over to the National Council for One Parent Families, an organization which likes one parent families and thinks they are a Good Thing. Later, she received an award from the unspeakably ghastly homosexuals at Stonewall, presumably for some hideous manifestation of political correctness.

For all this stuff she was made a life peer. Then, without the remotest experience in trade matters she was appointed EU trade commissioner. Never elected by anyone, anywhere, totally unqualified for almost every job she has done, she has risen to her current position presumably through a combination of down-the-line Stalinist political correctness and the fact that she has the charisma of a caravan site on the Isle of Sheppey.

And some gleeful smirking from another corner of the Speccie, seeing the possible benefits of putting numpties with no democratic mandate in these potentially powerful roles.

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I find it slightly surprising that few are pointing out (thought some do) that she is married to Peter Kellner, head of Labia’s favourite pollsters, YouGov, who is also active, with ASH, in the war against smokists.

Old Holborn is kindly covering the Mandelson bases.

Constantly Furious is still watching the #paulclarke case with interest and there is no shortage of twists.

Dick Puddlecote also contributes his thoughts on #paulclarke. He also brings us the latest from the frontline of the war against smokers.

Other shit later, if I run out of pharmaceutical grade sweeties.

AJ

UPDATE: Yeah.. Steve Shark shuts the ‘they’re banning Christmas’ wankers right up.

UPDATE 2: SteveShark recommended ‘New bloggist on the block’, StasiNation, also addresses a number of these areas with aplomb.

He also has a Taser update (now available for use on kids apparently), and a victory for the woman who, I previously relayed, had a ticket slapped on her in Sandwell for feeding the ducks. Some quite interesting details in there:

Big Brother Watch picked up on the story and offered to take up Miss Kelly’s case with Sandwell’s Stasi. The latest news is that the Council have revoked the FPN, along with 6 others that were issued, and are reimbursing a further two citizens who had already paid. They warn, however, that in future “wardens wearing head cameras will be on patrol at the Londonderry Lane park.” Oh really? I’d like to see the boot on the other foot once these “wardens” start filming children at play without their parents’ permission

Indeed.

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Oh, and StasiNation also has a most insightful update on the latest threats to parents who home-school their children, which I urge you to partake of…

Parens Patriae

The council is investigating one of the families in my street. While discussing this with Mrs. KiddR last night, it became apparent that, for a cul-de-sac of only 28 households, there are some seriously dysfunctional families here. So anyway, who has the council got their hooks into? There’s Mrs. X , the alcoholic with behavioural, emotional and possibly psychological problems. If she isn’t pissed and drunkenly singing along to Abba at max volume at 2am,  then she’s pissed and arguing with her live-in boyfriend at max volume at 2am. God alone knows how – or if – her 8 year old daughter sleeps through it.

Read on…

UPDATE 3:

StasiNation, I think, refers to this:

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A British plan to allow local authorities "the right of access to the home" and "the right to speak with each child alone" in order to evaluate homeschooling families and make certain they do what the government wants is a warning about what could happen in the United States, according to the world’s largest homeschool advocacy organization.

"On June 11, 2009, a report on home education in England by Graham Badman, a former Managing Director of Children, Families and Education in the County of Kent, was accepted in full by the British Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families," according to today’s report from the Home School Legal Defense Association.

"The report makes the case that homeschooling should be extensively regulated in England," the HSLDA continued. "Aside from registering with the state and mandating reports by homeschoolers, the Badman report makes references to balancing the rights of parents with the rights of children. This idea is expressed in the UNCRC."

According to the report now awaiting legislative action in Britain,

^^^ Read this!

… Badman concludes, "I am not persuaded that under the current regulatory regime that there is a correct balance between the rights of parents and the rights of the child either to an appropriate education or to be safe from harm. The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) gives children and young people over 40 substantive rights which include the right to express their views freely, the right to be heard in any legal or administrative matters that affect them and the right to seek, receive and impart information and ideas. Article 12 makes clear the responsibility of signatories to give children a voice:

Read on…

Next time some sanctimonious wanker criticises your car…

Refer them to this:

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Today award-winning science writer Fred Pearce – environmental consultant to New Scientist and author of Confessions Of An Eco Sinner – reveals that the super-ships that keep the West in everything from Christmas gifts to computers pump out killer chemicals linked to thousands of deaths because of the filthy fuel they use.

We’ve all noticed it. The filthy black smoke kicked out by funnels on cross-Channel ferries, cruise liners, container ships, oil tankers and even tugboats.

It looks foul, and leaves a brown haze across ports and shipping lanes. But what hasn’t been clear until now is that it is also a major killer, probably causing thousands of deaths in Britain alone.

As ships get bigger, the pollution is getting worse. The most staggering statistic of all is that just 16 of the world’s largest ships can produce as much lung-clogging sulphur pollution as all the world’s cars.

Because of their colossal engines, each as heavy as a small ship, these super-vessels use as much fuel as small power stations.

But, unlike power stations or cars, they can burn the cheapest, filthiest, high-sulphur fuel: the thick residues left behind in refineries after the lighter liquids have been taken. The stuff nobody on land is allowed to use.

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Read on…

So listen up, you fucking enviro-monkey. Until you stop buying shit made in the far-east, shut your cabbage-smelling yap, unless you want necklacing.

AJ

The State, The Quango, The Fake Charity and their cover…

How I wish we could pour salt on them all and have the lot turn to slime, easily hosed away.

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The initiative, which will appear in a green paper on relationships to be published shortly, is expected to form part of the election manifesto.

A green paper on relationships? This ought to be a comedy goldmine… I’ll await with great anticipation.

Here’s just a taster:

Critics are likely to accuse the government of more nanny state tendencies. “There is a very fine balance between offering support in an accessible way and the state interfering.”

Oh yes. It’s a fine balance. At the moment, what we have is a see-saw with Kate Moss on one side and a rhinoceros on the other. It’s obvious there aren’t enough rhinos to achieve the balance yet, so we’ll add some more.

“Good relationship support can help but it is important that people do get the support they need,” said Dr Katherine Rake, chief executive of the Family and Parenting Institute. “However, there is no one-size-fits-all solution.”

The Family and Parenting Institute, huh? QUANGO or Fake Charity? Well they’re certainly a sprawling monster of an organisation, as their annual report shows.

Ooooo look! It’s a Fake Charity: Page 25

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So we pay, via our taxes, for the FPI to spend their time:

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…That’s right. Chewing Harriet’s carpet.

Remember it’s only a week ago that I discovered that I’m funding the Fatherhood Institute too.

Money spunking shit-suckers.

AJ

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