Sorry.. I meant useless cunt…
I’m not convinced that his arseticles about the Large Hardon Colander are water tight either…
AJ
September 30, 2009
Bad day…
If you think your day sucked, spare a thought for this guy…
Dear Madame Fate,
Thank you for the lovely gift of a pistol in my face almost two weeks ago. Sorry that it’s taken a while for me to write to say thanks, but you know how trivial pursuits get in the way. I’m really grateful for the incident and use the experience gleaned from it every night just before I go to sleep and then again at 3am in the morning when I wake up in a cold sweat. It’s probably the best gift anybody has given to me and a great comfort.
I also want to say thanks for making sure there is a lack of evidence left behind by the magical gunmen who delivered the present on your behalf, which means that the police won’t be able to pass on my thanks to them in person. You are so thoughful not to allow them to waste their time trying to catch your magical gunmen who, incidentally, were really very kind, well spoken, polite young men. I didn’t realise how much better my bedroom looked with everything I own strewn across the floor until they demonstrated it to me. You clearly choose only the most creative and artistic of gunfolk to carry out your work and both you and they should be proud. I was also grateful for their bonus demonstration on gangland interrogation. I’m glad it was only a demonstration, though, as I was a bit worried about my kneecap at one point. Such jolly japes have been talked about around the dinner table many times.
Can I also say thanks to the insurance company who have decided not to cover the possessions that your magical gunmen must have picked up by mistake.
HT D/K
AJ
What he said…
Asylum seekers are to be subjected to DNA tests in an attempt to confirm their true nationalities
I am sat here, agog.What the blue buggering fuck is this? Are they just throwing out press releases designed to provoke as much as public outrage as humanly possible?
I am at a loss as to how this would even function.
Even if we assume that ancestry can be reliably traced using this technology, it surely cannot address the pragmatic legal questions of nationality. Imagine a British citizen wanting to enter, say, the US: Imagine they have a South-African father and a Chinese mother, oh and the dad has Dutch ancestry on his dad’s side, what are you left with? An immigration situation that no amount of genetic analysis would help in clarifying.
And aside from the very obvious scientific flaws, this strategy seems to indicate that the UK borders agency think genotype defines nationality. Just like the BNP do.
Bit of a recurring theme, these days…
Nicely put, Salty.
AJ
Desperate times, desperate measures…
The deluded Labiaists are crowing that the Tory lead has been cut to 7% in a YouGov poll…ORLY?
Just look at Brown’s approval figures, though.. lol.
Don’t know??? Oh please.
AJ
A vote for Cameron is a vote for the EU…
It really is now as simple as that…
The Tory leader’s signal could antagonise eurosceptic Tories who want a popular vote on the document whether or not it has taken legal force.
…
Mr Cameron is in a political quandary over his pledge to hold a British vote on the treaty.
It has now been ratified by 23 of the 27 EU states, including the UK.
Ireland, Poland, Germany and the Czech Republic have not endorsed it yet, but are likely to do so before the British general election next year.
In that case, a new Tory government would have to decide whether to hold a British referendum on a ratified treaty, something that other EU leaders say would effectively be an in-or-out choice on Britain’s entire EU membership.
…
[Cameron] said:
"If this treaty is still alive, if it is still being discussed and debated anywhere in Europe, then we will give you that referendum, we will name the date during the election campaign, we’ll hold that referendum straight away and I will lead the campaign for a No," he said.
"Now, if those circumstances change, if the Germans ratify, if the Poles ratify, if the Czechs ratify, if the Irish vote Yes to the treaty, then a new set of circumstances [apply], and I will address those at the time."
…
"I want us to be in the European Union. We are a trading nation, we should be co-operating with our allies and friends in Europe over things like the environment and crime, of course we should."
Oh dear oh dear… so we aren’t going to get a referendum, unless we can persuade the Czech republic to stall, while they are under coercive pressure to ratify.
Plus c’est la meme chose…
I’m really, really not going to be able to vote for Cameron.
AJ
Who cares? I came, bitch…
A poll of 15,000 women found that Germans are considered "too smelly".
English lovers came second because they are so lazy, while men from Sweden were branded "too quick to finish" and came third.
Spanish men topped the table as the best lovers, followed by Brazilians and Italians.
The poll, carried out by global research site www.OnePoll.com, asked women from 20 countries to rate nations on their ability in bed and give reasons for their answers.
Germans were deemed to have bad body odour, Englishmen were accused of letting women do all the work, whilst Swedes were a bit too quick to finish.
Men from Holland were "too rough" between the bed covers and Americans were accused of being "too dominating" in the bedroom.
Greek men were said to be a bit too soppy.
Other countries who didn’t fare well in the poll were Scotland (too loud), Turkey (too sweaty) and Wales (too selfish).
Russian men crept in at tenth place amid accusations they are too hairy for the average woman.
In other news:
French women are too hairy.
Latin women are too fat.
Catholic women are too uptight.
English women are too mercenary.
American women are Satan’s haemorrhoids.
Russian women are crooks.
Australian women have got gashes like badly packed kebabs.
German women are men.
AJ
Gordon’s not going to make it to the election…
This all serves to make the prospect of televised debates most delicious…
It continues…
He said Boulton, Sky’s political editor, seemed to “obsess” about the Labour leadership and snapped: “You have not given me the chance to talk about the economy.”
Mr Brown’s angry morning was fuelled by learning that The Sun has withdrawn its support for Labour. Today, during a round of interviews on Sky, GMTV and the BBC, he kept complaining he was not being allowed to make his case or answer questions in full.
Asked about a comment from Lord Mandelson that the public could not see through a “filter” at the Prime Minister’s real character, Mr Brown commented acidly: “He was probably talking about the media.”
At the end of his Sky interview, the Prime Minister looked furious when the cameras turned off and he tried to walk away. However, he still had a microphone clipped on and did not realise he was supposed to remain in the same seat for his next interview, this time with the BBC’s Sian Williams. Mr Brown complained to Boulton: “Look, Adam, we are going through a recession — I don’t think you asked about that at all.”
Asked to guarantee he would not step down as Premier before the election, he said tersely: “I have got a job to do and that’s the job I’m going to do.”
The retirement on health grounds is looking more and more certain. He just isn’t up to the punishment he’s going to rightly receive over the next 9 months.
AJ
September 29, 2009
More balance, dammit…
I usually find Theodore Dalrymple’s logically written articles (and books) unimpeachable. So I feel it right to point you toward his views on this HPV vaccine thing that I’ve done gone all tabloid about.
The world before vaccines is too easy to forget
All medical treatments have risks, but the dangers from immunisation are far outweighed by the number of lives saved
When I was 6, very shortly before polio vaccine was released, my best friend, from whom I was inseparable, contracted the disease, and was permanently paralysed from the waist down.
Unbeknown to me, my parents, lived many weeks of terrible anxiety on my behalf. This is an anxiety that no parent now has to experience, thanks to the vaccine.
But as a medical student, I saw a case of generalised vaccinia (the active virus in the smallpox vaccine) and never forgot it. A young man with severe eczema had, against all accepted practice, been immunised against smallpox and later died.
In the absence of perspective, information can be dangerous; and nothing is harder to assess than the proper significance of a single dramatic event. Such an event can be greeted by complacency when, in fact, it is the harbinger of disaster; or it causes panic when there is little to worry about. Panic itself can be more dangerous than what gives rise to it. We have, therefore, to control our first reactions by rational thought.
Do read on. And then either pick up a flaming pitchfork, or get back on the fucking bandwagon.
AJ
It’s not racist to hate a foreign oppressor…
This is quite smelly too…
Detectives are hunting an elderly letter writer with virulent pro-English views responsible for sending more than 50 pieces of racially abusive hate mail to people including the Prime Minister.
Are the Scotch a race now, then? Since fucking when? If you’d care to propose that they are an altogether different species, however, I may listen.
Let’s look at what this random nut-job has done. then.
The writer expresses anti-BBC views and accuses the corporation of racial bias.
OMFGZZZZ! Criminal mastermind and leader of the Fourth Reich, indeed.
The Scottish Parliament and system is also a regular target for abuse. Commonly used phrases in the letters include “English Parliament”, “Exit Europe”, “Repatriation” and “BBC Shutdown”.
Now, look. I’m sure that if any of these letters contained the words “paki” or “nigger”, or anything about Islam, that would have been front and centre of the article, would it not? No – the dangerous phrases are “English Parliament”, “Exit Europe”, “Repatriation” and “BBC Shutdown”.
Various police forces had already started their own investigations when letters were received in their areas, but the Hampshire force has since taken control of the inquiry.
Officers have taken hundreds of statements and the Forensic Science Service has examined hundreds of articles for fingerprints and DNA.
WHY?
WHY ARE THE POLICE EVEN INVOLVED, LET ALONE DEDICATING POSSIBLY HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF POUNDS OF RESOURCES TO THIS EGREGIOUS THOUGHT-CRIMINAL?
“We have made some progress, but we need the public’s assistance in helping us find the person responsible for sending this nasty series of racially abusive letters, some of the recipients of which have been left extremely distressed by the content," added Det Insp Goff.
Show me the evidence of racial abuse. So far, all you’ve shown me is the opinion of the mainstream wing of the blogosphere, which last time I looked (and I can’t be sure any more) was not illegal.
“We are hoping that someone will recognise the handwriting, or the particularly distinctive style of illustration used in many of the letters.
I’m sure you are, because you’re going to look like a right bunch of fuck-knuckles when you can’t find Victor Fucking Meldrew.
“Do you know someone who does drawings like this? Do you recognise the writing? Perhaps you work in a post office and recognise the writing of a regular customer? If so, we urgently want to hear from you so we can bring an end to this series of racial abuse.”
Oh and anyone who provides these fascist cunts with any information should be buttfucked with a JCB.
If JD or Steve Shark are reading, I know what you’re thinking, but my view wouldn’t change if this guy turned out to be an EDP member.
AJ
Haggis Baiting Time…
As a blogger, I was building up a certain amount of respect for Tom Harris.
This evening, his post gave me cause to examine his voting record.
http://www.theyworkforyou.com/mp/tom_harris/glasgow_south#votingrecord
Voting record (from PublicWhip)
How Tom Harris voted on key issues since 2001:
- Voted moderately against a transparent Parliament. votes, speeches
- Voted a mixture of for and against introducing a smoking ban. votes, speeches
- Voted very strongly for introducing ID cards. votes, speeches
- Voted moderately for introducing foundation hospitals. votes, speeches
- Voted strongly for introducing student top-up fees. votes, speeches
- Voted very strongly for Labour’s anti-terrorism laws. votes, speeches
- Voted very strongly for the Iraq war. votes, speeches
- Voted very strongly against an investigation into the Iraq war. votes, speeches
- Voted very strongly for replacing Trident. votes, speeches
- Voted very strongly for the hunting ban. votes, speeches
- Voted strongly for equal gay rights. votes, speeches
- Voted for laws to stop climate change. votes, speeches
So when he posted this:
SNP dishonesty is an international embarrassment to Scotland
The headline alone was enough for me to put an alternative proposition to him:
Let’s wait and see if he’s prepared to publish it. And better still, dignify it with a response.
AJ
Racism…
Even though I’m a lover of stereotypes, I know and accept all the arguments against racism on an intellectual level, as well as a social and professional level. Which is to say that in my dealings with the world, I’m colour blind.
So how is it, then, that I’d have put a grand on the fact that these animals are black?
And I’d have won my bet.
Utterly sickening and savage. Honestly, if that happened to you, or your wife, wouldn’t you decide that the metropolis was no longer for you?
And how does one scrutinise the undisputed fact that, in London, black men commit crime way out of proportion with their percentage of the population, without getting strung up for being a nigga-hata?
Some attempts here:
http://www.thelondondailynews.com/hypocrisy-surrounding-black-crime-london-p-687.html
http://mksviews.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/mostly-black-youth-responsible-for-knife-crime-in-london/
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/the-truth-about-black-on-black-crime-444774.html
Much will be made of the experience that this poor woman endured. And though not to trivialise her ordeal, I suspect that little thought will be given to her bloke and what’s going through his mind. Apart from the sheer humiliation, what’s he thinking now? Does he still ‘want her’ now she’s been violated in this way? That’s a rational thought, but the guilt he’ll feel from that thought will be as overwhelming as that from being unable to protect the mother of his child, in his own home.
Sadly, and I doubt I’ll ever know the outcome but, I don’t think this couple will be together a year from now. This couple are both badly damaged now and it’ll be a long time before either of them comes close to being fixed, and that is a howling tragedy for them and their child.
In a way, I’d hope the assailants aren’t caught (by the law at least), because the inevitably paltry sentences, meaning they’ll be out and grinning while the victims are still emotional and psychological wrecks will be the ultimate slap in the face.
But I suppose I probably wouldn’t care, because I’d be in Broadmoor after an extraordinary string of violent and gruesome racist murders with a chainsaw, a machete, a mile of piano wire and a pair of bricks.
And Brown’s leading into the next election on a law and order ticket?
YOU DID THIS, BROWN
YOU DID THIS, BLAIR
YOU DID THIS, TREVOR PHILLIPS
YOU DID THIS, SIR WILLIAM MACPHERSON
YOU DID THIS, DAMILOLA TAYLOR’S STEPHEN LAWRENCE’S MOTHER
YOU DID THIS, POLLY TOYNBEE.
YOU DID THIS, SHARMI CHAKRABATI
YOU DID THIS, JACK STRAW
YOU DID THIS, HARRIET HARMAN
YOU DID THIS, DAVID BLUNKETT
YOU DID THIS, JACQUI SMITH
YOU DID THIS, BARONESS SCOTLAND
I HOPE YOU ALL GET YOUR LITERAL AND METAPHORICAL BACK DOORS KICKED IN BY SOME RAMPAGING BUNCH OF SAVAGES, YOU UNUTTERABLE CUNTS.
Finally, let me put a rhetorical question to you. If the Metropolitan Police are institutionally racist, why is it they’re completely unable to get on top of black crime? I mean, random unsanctioned dawn raids, falling down stairs, claiming he had a gun, then shooting him (think LA Confidential), falsified statements, witness intimidation and evidence suppression, anybody? If the police felt at liberty to act precisely as they wished regarding ethnics, surely they’d have an unbeatable advantage.
AJ
UPDATE: Actually, where I said Damilola Taylors mother, I actually meant Stephen Lawrence’s mother. Sorry.
UPDATE 2: I forgot Ken Livingstone, Lee Jasper and Sir Ian Blair. Cunts.
HPV Immunisation Kills Girl…
This is quite alarming & I’ll be interested to know what the likes of Henry and Salty make of it.
Natalie was one of four classmates who suffered side-effects at Blue Coat CofE School in Coventry after receiving the vaccine as part of the national immunisation programme.
She was subsequently taken to Coventry’s University Hospital where she died on Monday afternoon.
And there’s more…
Doctors’ reports show that girls of 12 and 13 have experienced convulsions, fever and paralysis after being given the vaccine, which is now administered in schools as part of efforts to prevent women developing cancer.
Others suffered nausea, muscle weakness, dizziness and blurred vision, according to a special report drawn up by drug safety watchdogs.
…
Stacey Jones is one of those who believes she has suffered side effects from the vaccine. She was 17 when she had her first Cervarix injection.
Her parents Julie and Kerry, from Bilston, West Midlands, noticed her becoming increasingly emotional in the weeks following the first two jabs, but feared their "happy-go-lucky" girl had finally succumbed to adolescent moodswings.
Within four days of the third injection in March of this year, Stacey suffered an epileptic seizure, followed by 17 more in the following week.
She has now been diagnosed with a brain injury, caused by inflammation of the brain, and is being treated in an NHS rehabilitation unit in Birmingham, which helps her with basic tasks like making a sandwich.
Seizures are minimised by five types of medication, but her memory is badly damaged.
WHAT THE FUCK????
This is what happens when the state thinks it owns your body and the medical establishment are out of control.
Now can you see how far power has moved away from the individual and into the hands of unelected self-serving bastards?
Fuck.
AJ
UPDATE: I’m now being fisked by Mummylonglegs… feels kinda funny… and at the same time, kinda… dirty.. lol :-)
September 28, 2009
New Penis Extension Ahoy…
The deal is done and this time next week, there’ll be a fucking quick Merc on my driveway.
Compared to my BMW, it’s 300kg lighter and has 25% more power.
And now a tip: It’s shod with P Zeros. Buy Pirelli shares. And it sups Optimax. Buy Royal Dutch Shell shares.
AJ
If you think life under the Tories would be any different…
Via Ambush Predator, this is indicative that you are quite wrong…
Owners will be forced to install the microchip containing a barcode that can store their pet’s name, breed, age and health along with their own address and phone number.
The barcode’s details would then be stored on a national database which local councils could access in a bid to easily identify an owner’s pet.
…
The new scheme, supported by the Tories and Labour,
…
The scheme, which is already being successfully piloted by the Conservative-run Wandsworth Council, would be phased in gradually to provide enough time for owners to comply with the changes.
So let’s see where this will go:
1) Council wallahs with scanners will be able to immediately identify a dog-owner, by scanning their dog. I imagine park wardens being kitted out with hand-held scanners.
2) Immediately, there is the opportunity to issue automatic fixed penalty notices for e.g. alleged fouling.
3) Your dog escapes and is retrieved by the dog warden. Upon scanning the dog, you are immediately sent an £80 charge for dog-handling. To retrieve the dog will cost a further £180 and daily storage charges of £48 will be levied.
4) Unbeknown to the council, your dog was stolen 6 months ago, because the police aren’t yet able to update the dogabase.
5) Or perhaps your dog died last year, whereupon a bent veterinary nurse put your dogs chip into another dog.
Genius.
FWIW, my cats have these chips, but it is voluntary and the details are held by a private firm, not the state.
AJ
